


Shock To Your System

by BackInYourHead23



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Drinking Games, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Girl Penis Lexa, Shy Lexa (The 100), Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Smut, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-05-07 09:36:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 45,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14668308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BackInYourHead23/pseuds/BackInYourHead23
Summary: Clarke returns home after living away for two years. She’s grown, she’s ready to face a new chapter in her life, but what she finds is nothing what she expected.Lexa is an introvert working at Octavia’s popular night bar. In walks a hot blonde bombshell to completely turn her world upside down.





	1. Chapter One

Chapter one

 

She walked in through the door. Familiar smells filling the air but a foreign view, after all it had been two years since she stepped foot in this popular crowded bar. To her left she saw occupied booths; loud conversations, people laughing, glasses clinging in celebrations. To her right a modern dj controlling a crowd of dancers with a song that flowed through the large space. But with no hesitation her feet carried her directly forward towards the red oak wooden bar. Two years it has been since she saw her best friends and her early surprise visit had her heart beating fast with excitement. She first spotted two unknown bartenders making drinks for those waiting at the bar. A tall dark and handsome guy shaking what appeared to be a cocktail shaker and a really pretty brunette with tanned skin placing two mixed drinks on the bar in front of two older women. The brunettes eyes flickered up quickly making eye contact with her momentarily before taking money from the older women paying for their drinks. The brunette turning around, a tattoo half on display at the back of the brunettes neck covered by a black tank top, caught her eye and curiosity. As she approached the bar she felt like no time had passed. Was it really two whole years since she flipped bottles and poured countless shots behind this bar? Did she really just finish two years on the other side of the country at Polis University studying art? 

“Clarke?!” An overly shocked and excited shorter brunette ran out from the bar.

“Surprise!” Clarke said with the biggest smile on her face watching her best friend run towards her with open arms. “Miss me much Octavia?” A small laugh when their hug turned into a happy dance. 

“You’re early! I thought you were arriving back next week!” Octavia exclaimed. 

“Yeah, I packed up early and thought I’d surprise you guys.” Clarke said motioning towards those that worked at the bar. “Where’s Raven? I thought she worked for you Thursday nights?” 

“You know Raven, even though I’m her boss, she’s never listened to rules. She’s meant to start...fifteen minutes ago. I’m watching the bar until she’s here.” Octavia said rolling her eyes.

“Typical Raven, she’d be late to her own funeral.” Clarke chuckled shaking her head. 

“It’s so good to see you, Griff. And it’s going to be awesome having you back here. We’ve really missed you.” Octavia said with an affectionate look on her face. “Come meet my two new bartenders. Celebration cocktails are in order!” Octavia wiggled her eyebrows knowing her best friend couldn’t turn down a reunion cocktail or two. 

“Lincoln and Lexa, meet my amazing friend Clarke.” Octavia said calling over her two newest employees to their end of the bar. “Griff, these two cousins started working for me about a month ago. And already handle the bar better than anybody else. Our cocktail orders have doubled in the last four weeks! Lexa, can you mix us two cocktails please?”

“Nice to meet you Clarke.” The tall handsome guy said. “And I’m sure the sales have improved simply because school is out for the next few months.” Lincoln finished modestly. 

“Nice to meet you too.” Clarke nodded to Lincoln and then eyes moved and locked onto the pretty brunettes eyes...a green she’d never seen before. Eyes so intense she couldn’t look away. They drew her in, pulling her into a trance that made her body feel numb. Like time itself slowed down. Was she about to hear her speak for the first time...

“I’m here! I’m he-HOLY SHIT, CLARKE?!” Raven yelled and ran towards Clarke, jumping into her arms wrapping legs around her best friends waist. Clarke laughing while Raven planted friendly kisses to her cheek. 

“Hi Ray...ok ok enough kissing.” Lowering the girl back down but still keeping arms around each other. Raven took a small step back looking over her best friend. 

“You look good Clarke. You obviously learnt how to take care of yourself while on the other side of the country. You’ve enjoyed the sun too by the looks of it.”

“She was the one out of us three that routinely exercised and knew how to cook, remember?” Octavia said lightly elbowing Raven.

“I had to learn to run 5km a day with all the crap you guys would stock the apartment with!” Clarke said jokingly. 

At this point Lexa placed two cocktails on the bar intended for Octavia and Clarke. “Lexa, you don’t mind that Clarke has arrived a week early to move in upstairs do you?” Octavia asked Lexa. 

“Of course not.” Lexa said just loud enough to hear then moved away to serve some new people arriving at the bar. So that’s what her voice sounds like, Clarke thought. More curiosity set in. 

“Wait, Lexa lives upstairs in your apartment too, O?” Clarke said with a confused look on her face. 

“Yeah, Raven moved out two months ago as you know to move in with her girlfriend, Anya. I had her room empty and Lexa needed a place to live after her old apartment sold to new owners that didn’t want to rent out the place. Lexa is Anya’s sister who put in a good recommendation on her previously doing some bar work in town. It all just worked out great in the end. Don’t worry your room is still untouched the way you left it.” Octavia claimed as she started drinking her cocktail. “Mmm...I love these Slender Foxes.” Clinging her cocktail glass against Clarke’s as she picked hers up to try. 

“Is this gin? It’s delicious!” Clarke motioning to their drinks. Octavia nodding and winking at how good the drink was. Was this Lexa’s favourite cocktail? She certainly started off with an impressive impression. Bringing her thoughts back to Octavia. “And no worries about the new roomy, I’m just glad to be back, we have so much to catch up on! Speaking of, when do I get to meet this girlfriend that has managed to get the famous Raven Rayes to settle down in a relationship?!” Directing her question to Raven. 

“Maybe we’ll have to have a get together tomorrow night? Drinks, catch up, food, drinks, more drinks?” Raven said winking. 

“YES!!” Octavia and Clarke said together. 

“I better get to work before my crazy uptight boss kicks my arse.” Raven teases with a smirk. 

“Your crazy boss may just not let you drink her tequila tomorrow night if you don’t watch it.” Octavia teased back.  
Raven jumped behind the bar appearing to start some small talk with Lincoln. Clarke found Lexa’s piercing green eyes on her again before quickly turning to focus on the drink she was making. Clarke wondered if she was typically this shy with people or if she was trying to figure Clarke out as her new roommate. Before she could think much more of it. Octavia pulled her out of her daze. “Have you got much with you from the move?” 

“Just a couple of suitcases of clothes, a few boxes of books and as much art supplies I could fit into my wrangler.” Clarke said sounding a little disappointed with how much art stuff she had to leave behind at her mums house. 

“Ok cool. Let’s take it upstairs now and I’ll order us some pizza!” 

“Sounds perfect!” Clarke smiled feeling excited to see her old room and properly catch up with her bestie over their favourite take out. 

After moving everything out of Clarke’s car and into Octavia’s three bedroom apartment above her bar, the girls settled down on the couch eating pizza. Clarke telling some funny stories of her University life over in her hometown and Octavia laughing along. The girls stayed in close contact over the phone and Skyped regularly over the past two years, but it was great being able to hang out in person. Ever since they had formed their friendship 10 years ago they were inseparable. Either hanging at each other’s houses all the time, sleepovers, then living together for the start of University. Clarke moved to Queensland with her Mum while she attended Polis University for a two year scholarship art course as her Mum got a job as a trauma surgeon. For Clarke, it fast tracked her to her Masters Of Arts degree that she was accepted into at Arcadia University in the heart of Melbourne a month ago and due to start in a couple of months for semester one. 

“I’m surprised to see your apartment so clean and tidy, O. I remember it looking a whole lot messier the last time I was living here.” Clarke nudged Octavia. 

“That was mostly Raven that was messy. Lexa is very tidy and it kind of forces me to be tidy too.” Octavia shrugged. “Lexa’s kinda actually the perfect housemate.” 

“I can’t believe Raven is in a serious relationship now. Like I thought she was going to be the last of us still playing around with all the hot boys and girls. Never settling down and certainly not doing anything remotely close to dating.” Clarke said laughing. 

“Wait until you meet Anya, Raven has met her match. Truly someone who can shut down her sarcasm and pull her in line.” Octavia said with a smirk. 

“Oh wow! Now this I have to see!” Clarke replied with a giggle.


	2. Chapter two

After a nice relaxing sleep in from the previous day driving across the country, Clarke woke up ready to start her new chapter feeling inspired and energised. Ready to continue her regular morning routine she dressed in an adidas sports bra and matching track pants for her morning run. She attached her iPod to her arm and headed out on route to her old running path. The sun was lighting up more of her surroundings the more she ran. She passed many people also jogging or walking their dogs. Lots of friendly smiling faces. She felt more and more at home the further she ran. Clarke felt like running was her one stable thing in her life. Everything else may have been constantly changing but running made her feel safe, calm, centred, and grounded. A feeling that nothing else brought. At least not since losing her dad three years ago. Running at first became a distraction, a coping mechanism, a challenge to stay in control over something in her life. And after doing it for so long she didn’t know how to start her day without running. 

Clarke finished her run and entered the apartment breathing heavy and trying to settle her heart rate back to normal. Reaching the kitchen she took out a bottle of water from the fridge taking long mouthfuls to quench her thirst. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Lexa staring at her while her back was half turned to her. She knew she looked good in her running attire. She new most people appreciated her fit figure and she wasn’t shy with showing it off. But as she turned she felt a little timid with those green eyes on her. Lexa quickly turned around headed for the front door and left without saying a word. Clarke was too busy making sure she didn’t spill her water and look like an idiot before she could get any words out. She didn’t think much of Lexa’s shy behaviour and just thought it was due to a new person living in the apartment. She decided to jump in the shower to feel fresh for the day ahead. 

A few hours later Clarke made her way downstairs to the bar to practice some portrait sketching with strangers in the bar. Reaching the end bar she was greeted with an excited Octavia. “Tonight is set with the gang at ours for 7pm!”

“Awesome! I’m so excited to see everyone! It’s been too long.” Clarke said.

“As soon as I mentioned you arrived early everyone was thrilled to come over tonight. You’ll also get to meet Monty’s new boyfriend Nathan. And Jasper has a crush on a girl but won’t admit it.” Octavia said rolling her eyes. “Oh, and Bellamy is coming over with Lincoln. And I think Finn said he can pop over for a short time.”

“Great sounds like good old times again. Although, I do hope Finn doesn’t try his terrible flirting techniques with me. I really hope he’s moved on. The poor boy told me he’d wait for me to return even though I tried my best to convince him not to.” Clarke sighed. She didn’t like Finn in the way he liked her. She was always polite to him as he was in their friend group, but multiple times had to turn him down as he kept asking her out. 

“I’m not sure he has moved on. He was at Bellamy’s this morning and his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when I said you were back.” Octavia said trying to be as supportive as possible. 

Clarke rolled her eyes and focused on starting some sketching with her charcoal.   
An hour had passed and she was satisfied with the faces that filled her once blank page. 

“You’re an artist?” Lexa caught Clarke off guard as she leaned against the bar overlooking Clarke’s drawing. 

“Uh..yeah. I am.” Clarke replied a little startled. “I’m much better with landscapes but I’m trying to get in some portrait practice before starting my masters. I know I’m going to need all the practice I can get to be able to even have a chance at showcasing.” 

“Looks like you’re pretty great at it already.” Lexa said as her mouth curved into a slight smile. It was the first time Clarke had seen a small smile from the brunette. Clarke was a little awestruck. The brunette was beautiful, without even trying. 

“Thanks, but this is just rough sketching. It’s hard when my targets keep moving.” A little disappointed with not having a subject model for her to draw. “And I feel I’m better with paints than charcoal.” 

“If that’s the case, you must be awesome then.” Lexa said staring right into Clarke’s eyes.   
“Just good with my hands.” Clarke said without implying anything. Without realising the possible double meaning. Clarke’s eyes widened with shock of her own words and she looked down at her drawing with a slight blush. Lexa standing a little awkwardly moved back walking towards a new customer wanting to order a couple of beers. Clarke embarrassed and wanting to kick herself picked up her art supplies and rushed back upstairs to the apartment. Hoping Lexa didn’t pick up on her awkward moment. 

——————

 

Friday night came and the apartment was pumping with music playing. Snacks covered the dining and coffee tables. Two eskies filled with alcohol and ice for everyone to help themselves. And everyone started arriving greeting Clarke with hugs and excitement. 

Raven arrived with a tall dark haired high cheekbone girl in hand and walked over towards Clarke who was sitting on the kitchen counter. “Griff I’d like to introduce you to my girlfriend Anya.” Clarke jumped off the counter to greet Raven’s girlfriend with a hug. 

“It’s great to finally meet the girl who has been successful in taming my best friend.” Clarke winked at Raven who’s smile grew on her face. 

With a small smirk Anya said “it’s good to finally meet the infamous Clarke Griffin. Raven doesn’t shut up about you.” She said placing a kiss to her girlfriends temple. 

“Only good things said I hope.” Clarke replies pointing a finger at Raven as a half hearted effort to warn her friend. 

“Only all your embarrassing childhood struggles.” Raven huffed to save face. 

“If I was the jealous type, I would have thought she had a serious thing for you.” Anya said with a chuckle at the end. 

“We are just both fascinating people that deserve a lot of discussion time.” Clarke laughed with Raven following. 

“Ok well while you two spend time boosting each other’s egos, I’m going to find my sister.” Anya walks off grabbing two beers from the nearby esky. When she can’t find Lexa in the lounge room she heads for her sisters bedroom. Without knocking she opens the door to find Lexa in her bra and jeans and a handful of shirts laying on her bed. 

“Anya!” Lexa exclaimed shocked that someone just walked in on her topless. 

Anya quickly closed the door behind her. “Relax Lexa, it’s just me. And why haven’t you got a shirt on yet. Things started out there over half an hour ago.”

“I don’t know which shirt to wear.” Lexa said with a frown looking down to her bed. 

“Any of them will do. You look good regardless.” Anya said reassuringly as she knew her sister was anxious around crowds and at parties. Knowing that Lexa was probably trying to delay joining everyone rather than unable to make a wardrobe selection. “Come on I got you a beer to help your nerves.” She handed Lexa the beer and picked up a red and black checkered shirt for Lexa to put on. 

Once Lexa was dressed they made their was back out to the lounge room. Monty, Nathan, Jasper and Octavia were sitting around chatting. At that time Clarke and Raven both ventured out from the kitchen to join everyone. Clarke’s eyes met Lexa’s and both girls gave a slight smile to each other. With eye contact that lasted a little longer than typically normal. Clarke could sense Lexa was a little awkward and shy, like she wanted to bolt out of the room just like their encounter early that morning. The group took turns asking Clarke about Polis University and about her life over the past two years. About an hour passed and there was a knock at the door. 

“I’ll grab it!” Clark said excitedly. 

“Hey Princess!” A tall dark boy with a rough short beard said as he wrapped Clarke in a tight hug.

“Bellamy!” Clarke returned the hug with a big smile on her face. 

“Great to have you back.” Bellamy commented as he moved through the apartment to join the group of friends. 

Lincoln followed Bellamy in with a hello to Clarke. Then followed a boy with wavy brown hair and a smile from ear to ear. 

“Hi Clarke” 

“Hey...Finn. Long time no see.” Clarke said awkwardly trying to appear friendly towards the boy she didn’t particularly like. 

“You look great” he said scratching the back of his neck and trying to find a topic of conversation. 

“Drinks are in the esky in the kitchen.” Clarke tried dismissively. Then returned quickly to the lounge to catch Lexa watching her from her seat. Clarke took a big drink from her pear cider. It was going to be a long night. 

————

A few hours had passed and everyone was feeling a bit tipsy except Nathan and Lincoln the designated drivers for Monty, Jasper, Bellamy and Finn. Raven and Anya were getting a cab home and were saying their goodbyes for the night. Nathan was rounding up Jasper to leave but the boys were having Mario Cart races making it difficult to get them away from the tv. 

Clarke went to the kitchen to get some water to help hydrate herself after all the drinking to find that Finn followed her in and stood next to the counter blocking her exit. “Hey cutie, got some time to spend with me?” He said with a slightly slurred speech. 

“Ah...you seem pretty drunk there Finn.” Clarke said while attempting to move past him and get out of the kitchen. But Finn stepped in front of her path not allowing her to pass. 

“You can’t ignore me now Clarke. You’re back and we can finally give us a go.” He staggered a little and his alcohol breath was huffing as he spoke. 

“There is no us, Finn. I’m happy to be your friend but that’s where we leave this.” Clarke said firmly hoping it would make him back away. 

Finn frowned and tried to bring his hands up to grab Clarke but she stepped back causing Finn to step forward to only just catching himself before tumbling over. “You need to leave Finn. You’re drunk and I want you to leave me alone.” 

“I’m not leaving until you agree to go out with me.” He said with a unusually firm tone. 

“No” Clarke answered back. Frustration growing with the conversation. 

“I will not give up I will get you to go out with me.” Finn tried again to grab Clarke this time managing to grab a hold of her wrist. 

“Let go of me Finn...now.” Clarke gave him one chance to back out before she was about to kick him out of the apartment. But Finn’s grip tightened and he tried stepping closer pushing Clarke against the kitchen counter. 

Before Clarke could push Finn back off her she saw Finn fall backwards falling to the floor. Lexa had grabbed him by the shirt pulling him off Clarke and in his drunken state he fell down. “I think it’s time you left our apartment.” Lexa said in a firm tone no room for mistaking her seriousness. “If you don’t leave in the next thirty seconds I will drag you out myself and your face may accidentally fall onto my fist.” Lexa now standing between Finn and Clark silently offering her support to Clarke while she rubbed her reddened and sore wrist.   
Finn stumbled up and backed away eyes shocked from being told to get out. He quickly left the apartment. Lexa turned to face Clarke. “Are you ok, Clarke?” 

Clarke just stared at Lexa in shock. It was the first time she had heard Lexa say her name. Clicking the ‘k’ as she said it. It was nothing she had heard before. She couldn’t help but get lost in those green luring eyes again.   
“Um...yes...yeah I’m fine. Thanks for the help.” Clarke managed to get out having to look down to avoid staring further into Lexa’s eyes. “I really didn’t know Finn was going to do that.” 

“Are you hurt? Your wrist?” Lexa asked concerned. This was the most she had heard Lexa speak all night.   
“I’ll be fine.” Clarke replied but she caught her breath in her throat as she felt gentle hands lightly touching hers to inspect the wrist that Finn grabbed and twisted. Lexa was standing really close now. Clarke could smell her sweet vanilla scent. Was it from her body wash or shampoo? Clarke found herself wanting to breathe in deeper to take in as much of Lexa’s smell as possible. Why did this girl have such an intense affect on her. Why was she drawn in to her every move. 

Lexa backed away giving Clarke a small nod. Turning to walk off towards her bedroom.   
The party was over and everyone had gone home. Clarke was left still a little shocked by her encounter with Finn and felt uneasy with what to do about it. She decided to head to bed and talk to Octavia about it tomorrow with a hopefully clear head.


	3. Chapter three

The morning light draped through Clarke’s blinds stirring the blonde awake. A slight dizziness hitting her head as she sat up. Thoughts from the night before returning. She was mad with Finn and his drunken actions. She needed to clear her head and her morning run would help. She ventured from her room dressed in a sports bra and track pants ready to hit the streets for another morning run and feel fresh air on her skin. She found Lexa sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen eating cereal. The two locked eyes and Clarke was fairly certain Lexa’s eyes briefly glanced over her body. Clarke was glad her toned stomach was on display. She was proud of her fit physique. She wasn’t full of herself but she knew she looked good. Lexa’s gaze returned to her bowl of food with her shy persona back. Does she bring up what happened last night? What should she say? Thank you? Now it was just damn awkward standing here staring at Lexa eating while she couldn’t organise her thoughts. So Clarke shook her head and made her way for the front door. 

Forty minutes later Clarke returned home sweaty and feeling better. She decided she would confront Finn later today to let him know she was upset with him, he crossed the line, and that she didn’t want anything to do with him...at least for the time being.   
She pulled on skinny dark blue jeans with a white t-shirt after a refreshing shower. Her blonde hair still wet as she walked out into the lounge room. Octavia and Lexa were situated on the couch watching a tv show. Green eyes silently glanced over the blonde as she joined them. 

“You’re not trying to force Lexa to watch your crappy drama filled reality tv shows, are you O?” Clarke said nudging Octavia as she sat down next to her. 

Lexa half giggled at the way Octavia jumped into defensive mode immediately. “No! They aren’t that bad...”

“Actually I’m glad there’s a third person to now vote on what to watch.” Lexa spoke up with a grin. “With Clarke here I might get to watch something half decent.” She continues jokingly.   
“Ha...see O? Stop torturing the poor girl. Let’s watch some Orange or Orphan Black!” Clarke suggested.   
“Well I’m leaving now to head downstairs. I have a meeting with my accountant.” Octavia said as she moved off the couch. “So it’s all yours!” Throwing the tv remote for Clarke to catch. 

“Great! What will it be, Lex?” Clarke’s eyes smiled at the brunette.   
“Um...whatever you want to watch.” Lexa said quietly while fumbling with her jackets zip. Clarke hesitated with furthering the conversation. It seemed that Lexa became shy again once Octavia left the room. Did Clarke say something wrong? Did Lexa not want to be around her? Clarke couldn’t figure it out, but she didn’t want to make the brunette feel any worse by pointing it out. Not yet at least. 

After an episode of Orphan Black, Clarke paused the tv to make some popcorn. Returning she brought a big bowl of popcorn and a warm throw blanket to cuddle under. As she sat back down, she offered half of the blanket to Lexa and moved a little closer for them both to reach and share the popcorn. Throughout the next episode, Clarke felt as though Lexa had moved slightly closer to Clarke. They were almost touching thighs. Clarke relaxed back into the couch getting comfortable. By the end of the second episode she felt a warm weight leaning on her shoulder. Lexa had fallen asleep against her. Clarke could smell her vanilla scented hair. Wait...what? Then it hit her. Clarke liked this. Clarke wanted this. She wanted to wrap her arms around her and pull her closer. Lexa felt so warm, so comforting. Somehow it felt right. But she was her roommate. They had only just met. What if Lexa was straight? Clarke knew this could complicate things. The episode finished and the credits started rolling with a sharp loud noise of music playing. The change of volume awoke Lexa as she jumped up.   
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” She said shocked to discover she fell asleep on Clarke and a blush forming over her cheeks.   
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Clarke said with a kind smile. Trying to reassure the girl that it was nothing to be embarrassed about. Because of how Lexa was cuddled up to Clarke this put them sitting closer together than before. Eyes locked onto each other’s while the shows credit still roll in the background. Lexa opened her mouth as if to say something but suddenly deciding against it. Clarke couldn’t help but allow her eyes to drift to Lexa’s lips. How perfect they were. They looked so soft. She wondered what they tasted like...

Suddenly the front door banged open. “Honey, I’m home!” Raven yelled as she and Anya entered the apartment. Clarke and Lexa jumped apart with Lexa getting up off the couch. 

“Raven you don’t live here anymore.” Clarke voiced from the couch while rolling her eyes at her best friends dramatics. “And since when did you get a key again?” 

“Oh I never gave my key back. O said I could come by whenever I wanted to.” Raven smirked. “You haven’t seen my pretty face for two whole years Clarke! So I thought I’d come by so you could see it!” Raven dramatically fell on the couch tucking herself under the blanket next to Clarke. 

Anya had seen Lexa go to her bedroom and decided to follow her to see if her sister wanted to hang out. She walked into her room and shut the door behind her allowing them some privacy. “Hey Lex, how is everything going?” 

“Yeah...fine.” Lexa replied while tucking a few stray pieces of hair behind her ears. But her sister knew this was her typical way of showing her anxiety.   
“What happened?” Anya pressed on as she knew her sister all too well.   
“Nothing. What do you mean?” Lexa danced around the question and curious look from Anya.   
“I know you Lex, something or someone has got to you.” Anya said not wanting to back down as she wanted to get her sister talking so she could offer some support.   
Lexa just let her eyes drop to her feet.   
“It’s someone isn’t it?” Anya said raising a brow. Lexa continued to stay silent and that was all Anya needed for confirmation. “Oh my gosh, I thought you guys were cuddling on the couch... it’s Clarke isn’t it?”   
“Shhh!! Don’t be so loud!” Lexa scolded. “We weren’t cuddling.”  
“Ah I can’t believe it. It’s only been a few days!” Anya teased. “Well for what it’s worth, I think she’s a good person. Raven has only good things to say about her. That and she’s fucking hot.”   
That got Lexa’s attention and she smiled from ear to ear red cheeks growing. “She’s really beautiful.” She said quietly.   
“So are you going to tell her that you like her?” Anya asked. 

“No!” Lexa exclaimed quickly. “I can’t tell her! She’ll think I’m weird. It will make things so awkward living here. She doesn’t feel the same, I mean she’s probably straight and I will just look like some sort of freak.” She finished with a sad look now. 

“From what I’ve heard she’s a very open minded person. Her friends all have only kind things to say about her.” Anya said in support. “Oh and she’s bi.” Anya winked and then turned to leave the bedroom. 

Anya and Lexa walked back out to the lounge room to find Clarke hiding behind the couch and Raven hiding behind the dining table having a popcorn throwing fight.   
“Raven! You are cleaning this all up before O gets back!” Clarke yelled while throwing a handful of popcorn in Raven’s direction. 

“No way! You said it yourself, I don’t live here anymore, remember?” Raven laughed back throwing even more popcorn across the room. 

A click of the front door and both girls jumped up to run and sit down on the couch as if they had nothing to do with the food scattered everywhere.   
“Oh great I leave for a couple hours and my lounge room becomes a war zone!” Octavia said eyeing Clarke and Raven on the couch. 

Anya still standing with Lexa raised her arms up “We had nothing to do with this.” Anya said defensively. “Babe, while you clean up your mess I’m heading to Lincoln’s with Lexa. Clarke, don’t let her leave until she really has helped clean up.” Anya said while her and Lexa exited. 

“Thanks for coming to my defence there babe!” Raven said not so seriously rolling her eyes. 

“Ha, I like her!” Clarke said giggling because Raven was caught out and Anya wasn’t going to let her off the hook.

After the lounge room was clean again Clarke heard her phone ringing from the counter. The caller ID was unknown.   
“Hello..?” Clarke said into her phone. 

“Clarke? It’s me...Finn.”

“What do you want Finn?” Clarke said angrily with all of last nights emotions coming back to her in an instant. Her tone caught the attention of Octavia and Raven. Who glanced at each other with slightly confused expressions. 

“Can we talk please? Can we meet up?” Finn pleaded over the phone. 

“I have nothing to say to you right now. I need you to leave me alone. What you did last night was completely uncalled for. And I don’t want to see you Finn. Not...for some time.” Clarke said firmly with a bit of sadness. She didn’t want to date Finn, but she didn’t want him excluded from their group of friends. But after last nights actions she knew she needed space. She needed to create space between them so he knew to back off. 

“Please Clarke....I’ll do anything. Just let me apologise.” Finn sounded like he was almost going to cry. Almost. 

“I don’t want to hear it Finn. You need to understand that you have to leave me alone!” Clarke was getting frustrated now. “I have to go.” And Clarke ended the call before Finn could reply. 

“You ok Clarke? What did he do now?” Octavia questioned with concern.   
Clarke sighed heavily. “He cornered me last night and tried to basically force me to go out with him. When I refused he got physical and grabbed my wrist.” 

Both Octavia and Raven gasping in shock. “What?! Oh my god I had no idea!” Raven exclaimed. 

“It was just after you left Ray. I’m certain he was pretty drunk. But it was scary and very out of character. Luckily Lexa was there. She pulled him off me.” Clarke said pressing her lips into a thin smile. 

“Oh wow...that little shit is going to cop it from me when I next see him!” Octavia threatened. 

“Lexa to the rescue, Hey?” Raven said with a smirk. 

“I just hope he leaves me alone. I have too much else to worry about at the moment.” Clarke sighed. “And Lexa is running very hot and cold with me. I’m not sure if she really likes me living here.” 

“That’s just Lexa, though.” Octavia said. “She’s quiet around new people and likes to keep to herself.”

“Yeah An said she doesn’t step out of her comfort zone and finds it hard to socialise with new people.”

Clarke hoped her friends were right. She wanted Lexa to like her at least to make living together easier. (Not because she found her extremely good looking.)


	4. Chapter four

Clarke made her way downstairs to the bar. It was almost a full house. It had been just over a week of being back home and she was becoming familiar again with how popular Octavia’s bar was. Music filled the large room with a beat pumping through the walls. The bar itself had people lining up to get their drinks. Clarke’s eyes immediately found Lexa’s as she was working on making a few cocktails. A small smile offered to Clarke as she got closer. Clarke wanted to look good tonight. She put in effort to make her hair look great, a bit of make up making her blue eyes stand out, and a tight black lace dress that hugged her body in all the right places. Cute black heals and Clarke felt very confident. She turned a few heads as she neared the bar hoping to get a cocktail like she tried on her first day back. She knew her best friends were here somewhere and she’d look for them once she had a drink in hand. 

“Hey Lexa, do you have a minute to make me one of your slender foxes please?” Clarke asked smiling while half leaving over the bar to make sure Lexa could hear her. Knowing full well that her cleavage was showing. 

“Of course.” Lexa replied with a smile back. Clarke hasn’t seen Lexa smile this way before. It’s definitely her new favourite and she made a mental note to try to get Lexa to smile more. 

“Have you seen the others? They said they’d be here and we could have a few drinks before heading to The Dropship.” Clarke tried to have a longer conversation with Lexa in attempt to make Lexa feel more comfortable around her. She seemed to have been less shy around Clarke over the past week. And by less shy the only difference is a morning hello in passing. But it’s a small step.   
“Yeah I think I saw them at a booth earlier.” Lexa said avoided Clarke’s gaze and focusing on making the cocktail. 

“Ok thanks.” Clarke noticed Lexa’s tattoo again. She wondered what the rest looked like that was covered up by her black tank top. “What time do you finish? Are you going to join us later?” Perhaps Lexa would join them at the nightclub down the road for some drinking and dancing and be a little less shy around her. Clarke hoped as much. 

“Ah...yeah I might.” Lexa replied with an unsure expression. “Here you go.” Handing over the cocktail Clarke ordered. Both of their hands touching in the exchange. Eyes flashed up to each other in an intense stare. Clarke felt like the first time they met. She was completely drawn in to those beautiful green eyes again and couldn’t find it in herself to look away. 

“There you are!” Octavia throwing her arms around Clarke’s shoulders. Clarke could see she was already tipsy. “We’re over here!” Pointing to wards the group of friends.   
Lexa stepped away to serve the next people in line. Clarke wanted to talk to Lexa more but knew she couldn’t right now. She’d try later. 

Approaching the booth she found Bellamy and Anya raving to skull their drinks while Raven, Monty, and Jasper cheered them on. Clarke laughed at her friends antics and wasn’t surprised to see Anya win hands down and a proud smirk on Raven’s face. 

————

 

A few hours later and the bar was quieting down. The rush of young university students had moved on to various nightclubs for the night and only a quarter of the crowd remained. Lexa was able to finish her shift and make her way over to the others. From a distance she could see the group laughing and exaggerating their efforts when talking, they were all most likely tipsy or close to drunk. She saw Clarke’s gorgeous blonde hair swing about as she laughed at Bellamy. She approached the group finding it near impossible to take her eyes off the blonde girl. The swallowed thickly hoping she wouldn’t do anything to embarrass herself tonight. 

“Lexa! Lexa!” Anya cheered half drunk. “Finally! Come drink with us!”

“Yeah were about to head to The Dropship!” Followed Bellamy. 

A sly smile founds it’s way to Lexa’s face. She didn’t really have people welcoming her out to party often. In fact she only had experienced partying out in town a couple of times. All of those times she was dragged out by her sister. She knew she wasn’t an extrovert. She knew she wasn’t confident around crowds where people would get close and possibly judge her. But tonight she found herself wanting to be around them, especially Clarke.   
“Yeah I think I’ll tag along.” Lexa said eyes glancing over to the blonde who was offering an excited smile in return. 

“Woohoo! Let’s go!” Raven cheered.

———

After half an hour lining up they finally got into the popular nightclub. People were everywhere and the front room was packed with people dancing, singing, and drinking. 

“Let’s move out to the beer garden where we can get a few drinks and breathing space.” Octavia gestured over the loud music to the group of friends. They all made their way single file pushing through the crowd. Lexa started to feel like there wasn’t enough air to breath. Her black leather jacket suddenly feeling tighter than before. Her palms were starting to feel a bit sweaty. She did not do crowds. 

Watching everyone move forward towards the back Lexa couldn’t move her feet. Suddenly, a hand slipped into hers and gentle tugged her forward. Lexa looked up to find blue eyes offering a kind smile. Clarke had seen her hesitation and silently helped her feel more comfortable. Lexa felt control over her legs again and followed the blonde towards the rest of friends. Lexa gave a gentle squeeze of Clarke’s hand to say thank you. She hoped Clarke didn’t notice her sweaty palms from being so nervous. She felt her heart rate and her breathing slow back down to normal. She never was able to slow down an anxiety attack this quickly before. How did Clarke do that?

———

Bellamy had stopped drinking to make sure he could keep an eye on his sister. Octavia was happily daring Monty and Jasper to do shots with her. Raven had dragged Anya to a few seats alone together and their mouths have been locked together since. Lexa was only on her third drink pacing herself enough to not get overly intoxicated. She never liked the feeling of getting drunk and not in control of herself. 

“Come dance with me!” Clarke said as more of a statement than a question. Lexa looked down to find the blonde had taken her hand again with gently pulling her up out of her seat. Lexa couldn’t pull away. She locked eyes with Clarke knowing those pretty blue eyes all to well and found herself following Clarke inside to the dance floor. 

It was dark with coloured lights beaming around the room to a loud beat that Lexa could feel through her chest. A large crowd were still tightly packed in on the dance floor. Lexa wasn’t sure this was a great idea. Perhaps she should have come up with an excuse not to go to the packs dance floor. 

They made their way to the middle of the crowd. Bodies moving t the music everywhere. It was dark and only close range faces could be made out. Clarke turned to face Lexa and she started moving to the music. They were close...touching as Clarke moved with little space they had around them. Lexa started moving with Clarke matching her hips to the beat. Lexa felt Clarke’s arms loop around her neck as she leaned in close while dancing. Lexa swallowed hard and placed her hands lightly on Clarke’s waist. They moved together and Lexa felt the room slow down. She locked eyes with Clarke and it was like she was the only one the room. Clarke was beautiful. Simply stunning and Lexa couldn’t believe Clarke wanted to be dancing with her. 

The song changed and Clarke then turned in Lexa’s arms leaning her back to Lexa’s front. Lexa gulped. She was not expecting this. She could felt Clarke moving against her while she swung her hips to the music. Lexa’s hands tightened on Clarke’s hips when the blonde reached her arm up around Lexa’s neck. They were flush against each other. Tightly moving as one. Lexa almost froze not knowing what to do. It was becoming really intense. They fit so well against each other. 

Suddenly, Lexa immediately regretted accepting the dance with Clarke. Not now of all times. She frowned and shut her eyes. This can’t be happening. Oh but it was. Clarke’s very sexy arse was pressed against Lexa’s crutch and she could not for the life of her stop it from happening. She felt her heart rate escalate. She felt her body tense up. She tried to think of anything that helped it go away. Shit. What if Clarke noticed? She appeared to be a little drunk but it was becoming obvious. 

Lexa jumped back moving away from Clarke she had to get out of there. She willed herself to push past all the people dancing on each other. She may have pushed some people a little too hard. She didn’t care she had to get out to fresh air. She made it outside the front. Her legs kept taking her down the street. She could faintly hear Clarke calling her name. But she couldn’t turn around. Lexa ran off as fast as her legs would carry her.


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to slowly move forward with Clarke and Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your positive feedback. This is my first fic ever so please don’t hold it against me if it’s not so great.  
> I tried to make this chapter a little longer. I will be uploading regularly. Thanks

Chapter five

“I fucked up, Anya. Oh my god she’s going to think I’m a freak!” Lexa breathed out with panic in her words.

“It’s going to be ok, Lex. Just tell me what happened.” Anya said in a calming voice. 

“Well, everyone was having a good time, you know? I thought that maybe...maybe it would be fun to tag along. Maybe I could try be normal with you guys. Oh shit, why was I so stupid?” Lexa rambled off. 

“You’re not stupid Lexa, in fact you’re one of the smartest people I know.” Anya reassured. 

“I shouldn’t have started dancing. But she grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. There were so many people. She was so close. Moving on me like that...” Lexa stopped pacing around her room and sat down on the edge of her bed.  
Anya had come over after receiving an urgent text from her sister needing her help. Anya stared at Lexa with a blank expression trying to interpret what her sister was saying. Then it clicked. 

“Oh!” Anya said rather shocked. “You mean you got a...” 

Lexa groaned in frustration. “It just happens sometimes and I can’t control it!”

“That’s why you just ran out?” Anya asked and Lexa nodded confirming her sisters unusual behaviour two nights ago. 

“Now Clarke will probably never speak to me again. She’s different, An. I mean, she’s not like everyone else. What do I do? I’m so embarrassed.” Lexa buried her face in her hands. 

“Have you spoken to her about it?” Anya could see how much Lexa liked the girl. It had been two days since and Lexa practically locked herself in her bedroom. Only visiting the bathroom and kitchen when no one else was around. Luckily she didn’t have work until tomorrow. She had heard her roommates moving about the apartment but was glad neither girl tried to check on her. 

“No.” Lexa said with a disappointed look. 

“Well, for all you know she probably didn’t even know what happened.” Anya tried to make Lexa feel better. “Clarke was concerned you left, you know? She chased after you out the front but you took off. Then she came back inside to tell me you had left. She was worried, Lexa. Not upset or disgusted. I think she thought that she did something wrong to upset you. And you locking yourself up in here avoiding Clarke only shows that her theory may be true.” 

Lexa took her hands away from her face. She didn’t realise that she may have made Clarke feel bad. She never wanted that. Not when Clarke made her feel calm. Clarke eased her anxiety. Clarke made everything better. “Ok. Thanks An.”  
She would try resuming her normal life. Perhaps try talking to Clarke. Try moving on and forgetting this embarrassment. 

——————

Clarke cuddled up under a warm fleece blanket on the couch flicking through Netflix trying to decide what movie to watch. She heard Lexa’s bedroom door open and close but tried not to look up. She knew Lexa had been avoiding her and keeping to herself. She didn’t want to push to much by asking her what happened. She hoped the brunette would talk to her when she felt comfortable. 

“Can I sit?” Clarke heard Lexa ask quietly.  
“Of course.” Clarke offered half the blanket and tossed it over Lexa’s legs when she sat down next to her. “I’m having a hard time deciding on a Harry Potter or Twilight marathon.” Clarke said casually trying to allow Lexa to feel relaxed. 

A silent moment passed before Lexa spoke up. “Harry Potter hands down.” 

Clarke smiled brightly because she was secretly hoping Lexa would be a HP fan. Clarke saw Lexa’s lips curl into a shy smile. 

————

After the first movie ended and very little words exchanged between the two, Clarke stood up stretching her arms up high. Lexa’s eyes drifted to where Clarke’s t-shirt lifted up exposing some of her midriff. She mentally scolded herself when Clarke looked down at her and she was caught. 

“Do you want a hot chocolate?” She heard Clarke ask her. Lexa simply nodding in response. Why was it so hard to form words around this girl?  
“Great, I’ll be right back.”

Clarke returned with two hot chocolates ready to start the next movie. But before pressing play, she asked “So...are you going to Bellamy’s barbecue this Saturday?” Blue eyes looking into green. 

“I don’t think so.” She replied shaking her head and averting her eyes to focus on her mug in her hands. She remembered Bellamy inviting everyone over the last time they were all together. 

“You should.” Clarke encourages with a gentle smile. “It will just be the same people from this past weekend. Plus Bellamy has a pool and I heard it’s going to be gorgeous weather for a swim.” She said excitedly. 

Lexa seemed to think about it for a moment. Was Clarke just being nice or did she genuinely want Lexa to go? It did sound like a nice time. Especially if Clarke was going. Clarke sounded like she wanted to hang out with Lexa again. She wasn’t questioning Lexa’s behaviour from the weekend before. Lexa could see that Clarke had no intention of pressuring her to talk about why she ran off. Lexa was grateful and started to relax around the blonde.  
“Maybe.” Lexa finished with a shrug of her shoulders and a hint of a smile. Just maybe things would be fine after all. 

————

Days passed with little interaction between the three roommates. Each being busy with their own lives. But Clarke was excited it was the weekend again. She was looking forward to hanging out with her friends at Bellamy’s house. It was another thing that reminded her of times before she moved away. Fun memories shared among good friends. 

She arrived at the large two storey home walking straight through the unlocked door. Clarke always loved this house. She spent years hanging out at this house with the Blake’s. Octavia and Bellamy’s parents wanted to move out to a smaller town house and left this big house to Bellamy. He would host barbecues or parties once a month to get the group together. Clarke had missed them so much over the past two years. It felt so good to be back spending time here again. 

“Clarke!” Bellamy greeted her with wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. “It’s so good to have you back with us now for these gatherings.” He said with kind eyes. Clarke felt the same happiness. She missed her Mum, sure, but these friends were her family. They have been there with her through all the hard times, especially by her side when her dad passed. And Bellamy was like a wise older brother. Offering support and guidance without judgement when Clarke needed it the most. 

“Hey Bell, it feels great to be here too.” She replied feeling a little nostalgic. “Here’s the dessert I made.” Placing her dish on the kitchen counter. 

“Ah...the famous apple cinnamon chocolate crumble! Oh my god Clarke I have missed your baking! O, can we start with desserts first?!” Bellamy called out as Octavia joined them in the kitchen from outside. 

“Nope! We just started up the barbecue and the meat is on!” Octavia said while smirking. “You’ll just have to fight your inner child and wait like the rest of us big brother.” The girls laughed as Bellamy pouted his lips. 

The three headed outside to join the gang. Monty was sitting with Nathan as both boys gave a happy hello to Clarke. Lincoln was at the grill and he looked completely in his element. Jasper was sitting down next to an unfamiliar girl. 

“Clarke!” She heard Jasper call her over. “I’d like for you to meet my...er...Maya. Maya this is my good friend Clarke.” 

Clarke noticing Jasper’s stumble of words, she reached out her hand to greet the girl. “Lovely to meet you Maya. Glad you could join us today.” She said politely. Trying to ease the awkwardness from Jasper she asked “Has Jasper told you about our barbecue challenge that we all play?” Hoping a topic of conversation may help the boy. 

“Oh wow that sounds interesting! Jas, you’ll have to tell me about it!” The girl replied. 

Clarke gave a smile and a wink to Jasper before walking away. Clarke walked up to the outdoor fridge pulling out a strawberry lime cider. The moment she closed the fridge door she saw her out the corner of her eye. She was wearing tightly fitted charcoal jogger chinos with a light pastel green Elwood singlet. She looked hot. Clarke couldn’t help but stare and as she took a sip from her cider she knew she would find it hard to have her eyes look anywhere else today.  
“Hey heart eyes!” Clarke jumped as Raven appeared behind her. 

“Hey Ray...wait, what?” Clarke said confused. 

“Oh come on Griff, don’t pretend you weren’t just checking Lexa out.” Raven said quietly with a wink. 

“No I wasn’t. I was just distracted..” Clarke tried. 

“Nice try. But you were always terrible at lying.” Raven said grabbing two drinks from the fridge and walking over to her girlfriend. 

At that point Lexa’s eyes met Clarke and she was making her way over to the blonde. Clarke swallowed hard hoping she didn’t look as nervous as she suddenly felt. Keep it together Griffin. She mentally told herself. 

“Hey.” Lexa said with a small smile. 

“Hey, you came?” Clarke said a little more surprised than she intended. 

“Yeah...Anya can be pretty persuasive when she wants to be.” Lexa still holding her gaze at Clarke. Clarke felt her knees getting a little weak. “She’s paying me a hundred bucks to be here.”

“Really?!” Clarke laughed. 

“No, not really. I wanted to come actually.” Lexa reaching across Clarke to pull a drink out from the fridge. Could Clarke see a smirk on Lexa’s face? The smell of vanilla hitting her senses again like it was the best smell Clarke has ever experienced. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re here. Bellamy puts on quite the barbecue and we all have a lot of fun.” Clarke said trying to hide behind her drink. The nerves returning. 

“Now I have expectations.” Lexa grinned. “I hope it’s as good as you say and I’m glad I’m here to share it with you.” Lexa held her smile to Clarke then moved away to go join the others. Clarke was thrown off. Was Lexa flirting? It could have just been normal conversation. But something tells Clarke there was more to it. Lexa was smiling. She seemed relaxed. And she initiated the conversation for the first time. 

“Lunch is up!” Bellamy called out. 

Clarke pulled herself from her thoughts and walked back over to join everyone for lunch. 

—————

 

A couple of hours had passed and the boys were getting restless.  
“Can we start the barbecue challenge yet?!” Jasper asked. “You girls are going down!” 

“You’re arse is going to lose and you know it Jas!” Raven yelled back. 

“Challenge accepted...” Jasper said with an evil grin. 

“Can I sit out and watch?” Maya asked shyly.

“Yeah of course. That kind of works for even teams. Ok, so for those who haven’t played, these are the rules.” Bellamy explained. “Girls verse boys, so it’s five against five. There are five different challenges and one person from each team completes one activity. First team over the finish line wins! Oh and each activity station involves shots, of course.” Wearing a huge grin. “You can’t start your activity until the previous person has taken their shot. The fifth person who finishes their shot first wins for their team.” 

“Ok I am racing the electronic car!” Raven called first to the group of girls. “Babe, you definitely have the push ups!” Winking at Anya. 

“Alright, I will run the two laps around the pool.” Octavia announced. “Lex, you can shoot hoops right?”

“Ah, sure.” Lexa replied. 

“Right, so I guess I’m left with stacking a five layer card pyramid?” Clarke said. 

“Good thing you’re good with you’re hands, Griff.” Raven playfully commented with a wink. Clarke elbowing her friends side in response. 

“Everyone move to your stations!” Bellamy announced. “And let the games begin!” He said dramatically and wiggling his eyebrows. 

First challenge was Raven controlling a motorised car down the driveway weaving around soft drink bottles. The cars had to go up and back crossing a line before they could take their vodka cranberry shot. Raven’s opponent was Monty. After Bellamy starting the race both motorised cars took off along their own obstacle course. It was head to head both controllers doing a perfect job. Raven downing her vodka shot a fraction faster than Monty who grimaced at the taste. 

This lead into Anya versing Lincoln for ten push ups. Again both opponents completely tied. Anya slammed her shot glass down on the table signaling Octavia to start running around the pool against Nathan.  
Everyone was cheering loudly for their teammates. Octavia was very fast and was just in front of Nathan who almost slipped into the pool on a corner turn. Octavia ran to where the vodka shots were and downed her drink seconds in front of Nathan. 

Lexa picked up the basketball and stood on her mark to take her five shots at the ring. Clarke watched on with excitement. Lexa’s biceps on full display in her tank. Clarke couldn’t help admiring the brunette, she was looking hot. Lexa was shooting like a pro. She made five easy baskets in a row. Unfortunately, this was Bellamy’s strong area and he also made every shot leaving the pair tied as they downed their vodka shot. 

It was all up to Clarke. She had to construct a pyramid of cards five levels high. Jasper was skilled with cards. Clarke knew this was no easy challenge. Although it was a race, this challenge took patience and a steady hand. Clarke knew she couldn’t rush it. Both opponents hand four layers built awaiting the last few cards on top. Clarke bit her bottom lip in concentration trying to keep her stack from collapsing onto itself. She looked over to Jasper who was about to place his last card on the top of his pyramid. 

“That, my friend, is gam....noooo!” Just as Jasper went to place his last card his pyramid collapsed upon itself in a heap on the table. Jasper was devastated and couldn’t believe his eyes. 

Clarke carefully placed her last few cards despite all the boys trying to throw her off. 

“YES!” The girls cheered. “And that, my cocky friend, is why you should never underestimate what women can do!” Clarke said with the biggest grin on her face and took her vodka shot. The girls danced around celebrating their victory. While the boys lost their egos and pride. The girls probably over exaggerated their win for longer than necessary but who cares, they deserved it. 

Suddenly, Clarke felt her body get lifted up by strong arms.  
“Oh my god! Bellamy put me down!” Clarke yelled with a little scream. 

“Sorry Princess, but for winning the barbecue challenge you get first dibs on the pool today!” Bellamy laughed. 

“No, no, no, don’t you dare!” Clarke cried as she tried squirming out of his grasp. But she wasn’t strong enough. Before she could protest anymore she was thrown into the pool getting completely submerged by water. 

Clarke surfaced to the edge of the pool laughing along with everyone. She didn’t really care. She hoisted herself up out of the pool took her now wet shoes off and threw the at Bellamy playfully. “You asshole!” She smirked.  
Clarke then turned back to the pool, unzipped her soaked blue and white summer dress and let it drop to the floor. Thankfully Clarke was wearing her bikini under her dress. Flashing a big smile towards her friends she dived back into the pool. 

“Do I need to help you pick your jaw up off the floor, Lex?” Anya teased Lexa quietly for just her to hear. 

Lexa’s face blushed bright red. 

 

——————

About half an hour had passed and everyone was in the pool. Everyone except Lexa. She took a seat a little back from the pool watching every muck around in the water. To Clarke’s disappointment, she noticed Lexa hadn’t ventured into the water. While her friends were busy hitting a floatable ball around she thought she’d take a time out to talk to Lexa. 

Pulling a towel around herself she approached Lexa who seemed to fidget uneasy as she sat down next to her.  
“You’re not getting in the pool? The water is perfect.” Clarke said with a smile.  
“No sorry, I didn’t bring my bathers.” Lexa said with her eyes fixed to her hands that were holding her cider.  
“Oh ok. Well maybe next time. Summer has just started and I’m sure there’ll be plenty more weekends here.” Clarke offered.  
Lexa just nodded trying not to let her eyes divert over the blondes still partially wet body. To say that Clarke was hot was an understatement and now having the towel run over her hair in attempt to dry it left her body on display for Lexa to see her in her bikini up close.  
Clarke noticed Lexa’s eyes on her as she towelled her wet hair. So maybe she was into girls? Hmm interesting. Clarke thought.  
“You did amazing with your basketball shots. Do you play?” Clarke started to avoid the silence becoming awkward.  
“Not anymore but I played for my high school. I actually want to join the university team. But haven’t built up the courage to try out for the girls team.” Lexa replied shyly.  
“Oh you definitely should! You’d be great!” Clarke encouraged. “So you attend Arcadia? What are you studying ?” She asked curiously. It was the first time Lexa was offering information about herself and Clarke wanted to keep the conversation flowing.  
“Yeah I’m currently in my fourth year of Law.”  
“Impressive! Remind me to never try and win an argument with you.” Clarke joked. Lexa’s lips turned into a smile.  
“I actually want to make my way into corporate law.” Lexa said quietly as she sipped her drink. “So you’re starting your masters in March? Have you always wanted to be an artist.”  
“Yeah I can’t wait to start expanding my art even further. I have always seen myself doing art. My dad encouraged me from a young age to paint and draw.” Clarke shared. “When I was four I remember getting a new set of acrylic paints from my dad and I wanted to try them out but didn’t really understand that paint should be used on paper or canvas. I painted a family picture on my bedroom wall.” Lexa’s eyes widened in surprise and laughed with Clarke. “My mum was furious she threatened to cancel my birthday party the following day. But my dad calmed her down and even allowed the painting to stay in my wall. He said when I was older I could paint the whole wall with something inspirational.” 

“And did you?” Lexa asked.

“Yes. On my sixteenth birthday I asked my dad to paint the entire ceiling with me. It took three days in total but in the end the whole ceiling was a beautiful picture of the solar system. It was a ‘reach for the stars’ concept.”

“You’re dad sounds like a great guy.” 

“He really was.” Clarke said sadly. “We lost him to cancer 3 years ago.” 

“Oh I’m so sorry Clarke.” Lexa said sympathetically. 

“It’s ok. I am who I am because of him. And I use my fond memories of him every time I pick up a paint brush.” The two girls smiled at each other and locked eyes for a moment longer than considered normal. Clark found it so easy to talk to this girl. Clarke broke up their stare. “Want to come inside and help me get the desserts ready?” 

“Of course.” Lexa said without hesitation. 

————

 

In the kitchen Clarke still had her towel wrapped around herself. He dress was hanging outside in the sun drying off. She was washing up dishes from lunch to make room for the desserts. Lexa was standing close to Clarke while helping her dry the dishes. They were alone while the others still enjoyed the pool. If she didn’t ask now then she probably never would and her curiosity got the better of her.  
“Can I ask you something?” Clarke said carefully and Lexa nodded.  
“What made you run off from the club last weekend?” She asked in a gentle voice. One that she hoped would make Lexa feel comfortable enough to open up to her. 

Lexa just froze. Staring at the plate she was drying. Clarke knew she shouldn’t have said anything. Lexa has joined them today and really tried to get along with all her friends after the last weekend of events and Clarke really shouldn’t have scared her like this. After a moment of more silence Clarke realised that Lexa wasn’t going to answer.  
“It’s ok. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” She gently placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder. “I guess I just wasn’t sure if I did something wrong. If I shouldn’t have...danced with you like that.” Clarke said the last sentence with a little hesitation. 

“No it wasn’t you. The dancing was...nice. I just...felt really claustrophobic and needed to get out.”

Clarke tried to evaluate Lexa’s expression but she was difficult to read. Clarke wondered if that really was the cause of her leaving that night. But she wouldn’t push the girl any further with questions. 

“I did have a really good night with you.” Lexa said slowly looking up to meet Clarke’s eyes. They were standing so close. Clarke could see tiny bits of gold in Lexa’s eyes. It was intense. Every time they looked at each other like this Clarke felt like she was losing control over her body. Like Lexa was holding something over her. A trance maybe. And then it happened. Clarke’s eyes dropped to Lexa’s lips. They were so perfect. They looked so soft. Clarke wondered what they would taste like. Inches apart, all they had to do was lean in slightly and they would...

“Is it time for dessert yet?!” Bellamy said excitedly as he pushed through the kitchen door. Both girls jumped apart instantly. 

“Ah yeah. Sure. Bell why don’t you take them outside I’m going to go see if my dress is dry.” Clarke managed to say a little stumbling after her moment with Lexa. 

Clarke found her dress and slid it on so she could join the rest with eating the desserts.  
“Clarke, wait.” Lexa said as she approached the blonde. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Sure, what’s up?” Clarke tried to say unaffected. 

“Well this coming Thursday is orientation day for new university students and I’m setting up a stall for the Law department. I have to do some tours around the campus. And I was wondering if maybe you might be interested in hanging out with me?” Lexa asked shyly, almost regretting her words the moment she said them. “I mean...you’re a student too and it could be fun.”

“I’d love to join you Lexa.” Clarke said wearing a huge smile. 

Lexa’s eyes lit up. “Great, that sounds great”


	6. Chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a little bit of Lexa’s history.

Chapter six

 

It’s a beautiful sunny Thursday morning and Lexa is dressed in jeans and an Arkadia University t-shirt ready to drive her and Clarke to campus. It’s early. She knows they will be some of the first ones there. But Lexa’s anxiety is well and truly showing this morning and Lexa has to be organised. She checks she has everything packed for the day. Ok she checks about five times because Clarke is taking longer than necessary to get ready. Finally Lexa spots Clarke exiting her bedroom with a matching t-shirt. She can’t help but think she looks so cute especially with her blonde hair up in a loose bun.  
“Are you ready?” Lexa asks a little impatiently. Unintentionally letting her nerves show. 

“Yes. Consider yourself lucky, Lex, I don’t skip my morning run for anything.” Clarke smiled at the brunette. 

“Trust me, we will be getting our exercise in today with all the walking.” Lexa says then starts biting her bottom lip. 

Clarke notices her fidgeting behaviour straight away and knows Lexa is nervous about today.  
“Hey, today will go great. Those kids will get the best campus tours possible!” She tries to help ease Lexa. 

Lexa just slightly nods, picks up her keys and heads for the door. 

They’re driving along to the radios background music and Lexa’s fingers are tapping on the steering wheel. But she’s not tapping along because she likes the song playing. She’s fidgeting again. She’s starting to get too many doubts about today. She starts thinking why did she volunteer for this and why did she invite the gorgeous blonde to join her. She’ll only make a fool of herself. Maybe it’s best to warn her.  
“I’m not good with crowds.” Lexa admits while keeping eyes locked on the road ahead. “I’m not good with new people.”

Clarke smiles sweetly at Lexa and once she gets a quick short glance of her eyes she says “I know. But today will be fun. We just have to stick to the script of information for Law and point out a few buildings. Plus you have me there with you, right?” 

Lexa starts to calm down. She was ok. She could do this. 

“Just think of it like your serving them drinks at the bar, only you’re serving them a map of campus.” Clarke finished. 

Lexa was grateful she had Clarke with her today. Somehow she knew exactly what to say to put her mind at ease. 

 

—————

 

“Oh look! Something tells me those students are coming our way.” Clarke said excitedly. 

They had their stall set up for two hours now and not a single future law student approached for information. 

“You got this Lex.” Clarke lightly nudged Lexa’s arm encouraging her to talk to the two girls approaching their stall. 

“Welcome to Arcadia. Here’s our Bachelor of Law pack including a campus map. Tours run later in the day. To register please fill out the form over on the table.” Lexa spoke so quick Clarke was sure the two younger students barely understood it all. 

The two girls nodded and took their packs then wrote their names down for the tour before walking off. 

“Ok great! That was good. Next time try to breathe. Oxygen to the brain is important.” Clarke teased and Lexa nudged her back this time with a shy smile. 

————

A few hours had passed and they had handed out almost all of their information packs and had a bunch of people signed up for the afternoon tour. 

“Want to take a lunch break?” Lexa asked Clarke. 

“Oh I thought you’d never ask! I’m starving. And if I don’t get coffee soon I’m going to turn into a zombie.”  
Lexa rolled her eyes at Clarke’s dramatics. 

“Why don’t we go for a short walk I know this delicious pizza place up the road?” Lexa offered. 

“Ah Lexa, you know the way to my heart.” Clarke continues to joke and Lexa chuckles at the way Clarke’s hand grabs at her t-shirt over her heart. 

Both girls smiling at each other as they start to walk towards the pizza place. Something has shifted between them. It’s far less awkward and as they walk their shoulders occasionally touch. Lexa feels more relaxed now. She feels a little giddy around the blonde. Clarke’s making her smile a lot today. 

Oh no. This isn’t happening, Lexa thinks. She’s your roommate. You can’t seriously be having thoughts about how much she makes you smile, how pretty she looks, how she’s spending the whole day doing boring orientation for you. Lexa shakes her thoughts away. They are just getting lunch. That’s it. But those damn blue eyes...

“Ok this is it.” Lexa gestures towards a small cute Italian place hidden away down a little side street. “It’s nothing fancy but their wood oven pizzas are to die for.” There she is smiling again at Clarke. 

“Great! I’ll have one of everything!” The girls laugh making their way inside. 

————

“So tell me, why Law?” Clarke asks around bites of pizza. 

Lexa tensed up. She knows Clarke is trying to be friendly and ask casual questions. Lexa could just make up any reason to brush off the focus on her like she had done with a couple of classmates nearly 3 years ago. She could just say it was something she always wanted. But the way Clarke was looking at her made her feel a little safe. Like she cared. Clarke saw her without giving her a look of pity. Without judgemental eyes. Clarke had gone out of her way to try to make her feel comfortable. Maybe it was time to talk to someone. Take a chance. Open up.....again. 

“Well...” she started taking in a deep breath. “My mum is actually a lawyer.” Slowly choosing to continue. “I was about four years old when my birth mother decided I was too much for her and she gave me up to the system. I was in and out of foster homes for ten years. Until Indra, my mum, took me in after my foster home at the time went through a court case. Indra welcomed me in to her home like I had never felt before. She was patient, kind, and wanted to offer me the best in life. She sent me to her daughters private high school. And officially adopted me when I was fifteen. Anya’s not my real sister but my first day at school with her she introduced me to her friends as her sister. And it’s been that way ever since.” Clarke still showed caring eyes for Lexa. Normally she’d have people giving her a particular face of pity. Not Clarke.  
“My mum became my first role model in life. I wanted to do well in school, I wanted to make her proud. I wasn’t very socialised as a child and it was difficult for me to fit in with social groups. So I just put my head down and studied really hard. I watched all the great work my mum did for many families in need. And I just thought Law was a good road for me to take.” 

Lexa looked up from her plate to see Clarke smiling at her. “Thank you for sharing that with me.” Clarke said softly. “I think it’s admirable that you chose to challenge yourself academically. I’m sure your Mum is so proud of you.” 

Lexa sees a genuine look on Clarke’s face. How did this girl knock down her walls and get her to talk about her past?  
“Thanks.” Lexa says blushing a little. “Oh crap, we have twenty minutes until our campus tour starts. We better head back.” 

————

Back at their stall set up they had a group of twelve young future law students awaiting a campus tour. Lexa started fidgeting with the hem of her t-shirt and Clarke rested an encouraging hand on her shoulder to help steady her.  
“You got this, Lexa.” Clarke smiled. 

Lexa turned to the young group. “Hi everyone. Thank you for joining us for our university tour for the faculty of Law. We will start with the large lecture halls and make our way through the west wing of campus showing you the mock court rooms and the rest of the classrooms.” 

Clarke was in awe. She stood back watched Lexa lead a group of students around explaining some history facts on law and the origins of these fascinating buildings. Lexa had a passionate look in her eyes that Clarke had never seen. It was like Clarke was getting a glimpse of a side to Lexa that most people never see. 

Clarke knew she probably should have been paying attention to what Lexa was saying. Lexa’s tone had changed and it felt like she was getting ready to finish up. But Clarke couldn’t focus on her words. She was distracted by the way her dark hair was moving in the breeze, by the way her eyelashes fluttered, by the way her muscles tensed in her arms as she moved them when she spoke, by the way her soft lips were moving...

“And that concludes our tour today. I wish you all the best with your law studies.” Lexa finished up. The younger students all thanked Lexa and started to disperse. “So, how did I go?” Lexa asked as she looked down at her shoes. 

“You did amazing! You almost convinced me to study law!” Clarke said with a giggle. Lexa then gave her a gorgeous smile. Wow, Clarke thought, maybe she really should do law if she gets that response. “Come on...its my turn to show you around now.” Clarke said with a little grin forming on her face. 

Clarke lead Lexa over to the northern wing of campus. They passed music halls, theatres, sculpture rooms, photography rooms, and last but not least they started the hall of art rooms. Clarke kept walking along leading Lexa to a room at the end of the hall. An art gallery. Displaying all types of paintings and drawings. The ceilings were high and the room had a wonderful amount of natural light beaming in. 

Clarke looked over to Lexa to find a surprised expression.  
“I’ve never been over in this part of campus before.” Lexa admitted. “All this art work...it’s amazing. Are these pieces from students that attend her?” 

“They are. These pieces have won excellence achievement awards by top critics who have selected them at showcases. These pieces are exhibited for a minimum of ten years in this gallery.” Clarke informed. “Come on...I want to show you something.” 

Clarke lead Lexa through the gallery towards the back and stopped in front of a huge canvas painting. The canvas took up at least half of the wall. The painting had a range of dark blues and purples depicting a night sky, with bright stars surrounding a series of planets. 

“Wow, it’s like I’m looking through a telescope. It’s...incredible.” Lexa breathes out. 

“Thank you.” Clarke said a little bashfully.  
“This is yours?!” Lexa asked surprised while Clarke nodded. “Wait...this is your ceiling painting, what you did with your dad, isn’t it?” Lexa realised putting the pieces together. 

“It is.” Clarke said with a saddened look. “After he passed away I found it incredibly difficult to find my artistic inspiration. I almost quit my bachelor course. But I managed to complete this and submit it just in time for my first year port folio. My teacher selected me to showcase it. And it won an excellence award.” Clarke said with tears filling her eyes. 

“Your dad would have been so proud Clarke.” Lexa took a step closer to Clarke. They were so close they were almost touching. “Thank you for sharing this with me.” Lexa repeated Clarke’s earlier words. 

Clarke turned away from the painting and towards Lexa. And Lexa also turned so they were both facing each other. Green eyes staring into blue. A tear escaped Clarke’s eyes and ran down her cheek. Lexa lifted her hand up and gently wiped the tear away. Neither one dared to look away. There were no interruptions. No one around to pull them apart. 

Clarke felt her heart racing. It was beating so loud in her chest. She wondered if Lexa could actually hear it. She felt her knees get a little weak like they had before under the gaze of those piercing green eyes. Without registering what she was doing she was leaning in. She dropped her eyes to Lexa’s lips. They looked so inviting. Clarke moved slowly to avoid scaring her. Then she felt them. Her lips were kissing Lexa’s. And suddenly Lexa’s lips were kissing her back. It was soft and slow. Lexa’s lips were sweet and beautiful. She wanted to taste more. She wanted to feel more. Wrapping a hand around the back of Lexa’s neck she pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. She felt Lexa’s hands come up to grip her hips and this added butterflies to her stomach. Clarke lightly ran her tongue over Lexa’s lips silently asking permission. Lexa opened her mouth slightly and Clarke tasted her mouth. Exploring her mouth with her tongue. And Lexa responded moving her tongue against Clarke’s. The pace picked up and both were desperate to keep feeling this good. Clarke separated quickly to change the angle to kiss Lexa better. But before she could reconnect their lips again she felt Lexa pull away. Lexa’s eyes were dark. A slightly scared expression reached her face. Lexa took a few steps back and started walking away. 

“Lexa..”

Lexa shook her head and quickly ran out of the gallery.


	7. Chapter seven

Chapter seven

 

“Lexa! Lexa! Lexa, will you slow down!” Clarke yelled while running after Lexa. Clarke thought she was fit. Well, Lexa was faster and out running her. Breathing heavy, Clarke finally caught up with Lexa when they reached her car in the University’s car park. Lexa is in the driver seat but didn’t start the car. Her face buried in her hands. 

“Hey, can I get in?” Clarke asked from the passenger side. Lexa didn’t respond and after about a minute Clarke decided to get in the car. If Lexa was going to object then she’ll leave. But Lexa still remained silent. And Clarke had no idea how to approach her. Does she apologise? Does she ask what’s wrong? A few minutes pass and the silence is killing Clarke. She wants to make things ok. She wants to comfort her. She needs to see those green eyes. 

Clarke slowly reaches for Lexa’s hands that still cover her face. Calmly tugging her nearest hand towards her and entwines their fingers together and Lexa doesn’t stop her. Lexa’s eyes are red and teary but won’t make contact with Clarke’s. Clarke doesn’t say anything just yet but starts soothing circles over the back of her hand with her thumb. 

“Can we please just go home?” Lexa whispers. 

“Ok.” Clarke replied. If Lexa didn’t want to talk Clarke would respect that. She would give her the space she wanted. She'd give her anything at this point.

The short drive back to their apartment was completely silent. No radio. No talking. Houses flashed by, street after street, how did things change so quickly? The day had been great. Amazing even. Clarke felt like the two of them really made an improvement on becoming comfortable with each other. The silence between them had shortened, but now that's all that there was. Lexa's walls were back up in full force. But not once did Lexa pull her hand out of Clarke’s hold until the car engine turned off. That had to mean something, right?

Lexa quickly exited the car avoiding Clarke’s eye contact and made her way up the stairs to the apartment. By the time Clarke reached inside Lexa had already slipped into her bedroom and closed the door. Octavia and Raven were seated on the couch watching some crime movie. 

“What did you do, Griff.” Raven asked immediately noticing that Lexa must have looked upset moments before. 

“I...I don’t know..” Clarke responded with a long sigh. 

 

——————

 

Her lungs were breathing heavy, feet were hitting the pavement hard, a thin sheen of sweat covering her face. Three days had passed since she had missed Lexa and the only thing that helped her take her mind off of what had happened that day was running. Pushing herself further and faster each day. Feeling the pain of her chest burning, her leg muscles aching, and the fresh morning air hitting her face to offer some relief of all her stirring thoughts. Reasons for Lexa closing off racing wild inside her head. Lexa still wouldn’t talk to her and Clarke was trying to give her space. Clarke didn’t even know what to think about the situation herself. 

Walking back towards the apartment she spots Anya leaving and tries to catch her before she gets into her car.   
“Anya! Hey...have you spoken to Lexa?” She asked with a concerned look. 

“Hey Clarke, I’m sorry but I can’t really help you with that.” Anya replied and she went to open her car. 

“But she's avoiding me. I feel like I screwed things up, but she doesn’t want to talk.” Clarke said defeated. 

“Just give her time to process what happened.” Anya offered. She could see that Clarke was genuinely concerned for her sister. “Lexa isn’t the type of person to open up. She’s not usually the one for confrontation. Give her some space then approach her.” Anya then started getting into her car. “Oh, and Clarke?" She looked back over her shoulder. "Her favourite chocolates are m&m’s” Anya smirked the proceeded to leave. 

“Thank you!” Clarke rushed upstairs to the apartment. She had an idea of what she could do. But first she needed a shower. 

———————

 

Clarke was standing in the chocolate isle of the supermarket filling her basket with chocolates. Lexa’s chocolates. How many m&m’s does it take to say sorry? Hmm...a huge shopping bag full...at least. Then she felt her phone vibrate in her jeans pocket. It was her mum calling. Clarke let out a little sigh. It's not that she doesn't want to speak with her mum, but she had been avoiding her calls for the past three days because she knew her mum would notice her mood and press questions about why she didn't sound normal over the phone. Clarke's mum had become a little over the top with worry since she moved 1600km away.

"Hi Mum" Clarke answered.

"Hi sweetie! Great to know you're still alive!" Abby joked through the line. 

"I know Mum, I've had a really busy week." 

"Well I won't keep you long I just want to see if you are coming up here for Christmas? I have Christmas Day off work so we could have a nice lunch together. What do you say?" Abby asked with enthusiasm.

"Yeah that's sounds great Mum. I'll have a look at booking flights later today. It would be good to spend some time together before I get buried in Uni work." 

"Ok well look at flights and I'll send you some money for them, ok?" Abby offered. 

"Alright, thanks Mum. I gotta go, I'm at the shops. Speak soon." And Clarke ended the call thankful her Mum didn't press her with questions she didn't want to answer. 

Clarke returned home and by then it was after dinner. She had given Lexa the rest of the day to herself and now it was time to try. Bearing chocolates. 

Clarke got the courage up to knock on Lexa’s door. She could hear the faint noise of music playing. After a moment she heard her. 

“Come in..”

Clarke opened the door to find Lexa sitting up on her bed against a bunch of pillows. Her long dark hair was down over one shoulder, she had her reading glasses on, and a novel on her hands. Lexa was wearing a plain white t-shirt and black track pants. Even like this Clarke thought she looked beautiful. By now Clarke probably looked like an idiot standing at her door staring at her. She quickly made her legs work again and moved closer to Lexa. She excitedly tipped the shopping bag that was full of M&M packets over Lexa so they all fell around her. 

“What? What’s all this?” Lexa said in shock. 

“They look like chocolates to me.” Clarke giggled. 

“Yes but why?” Lexa smiled but still a bit confused as to why the blonde tipped a huge amount of chocolates onto her. 

“Well...they were the ice breaker. And the start to my apology. A little birdy told me they are your favourite.” Clarke couldn’t help smiling. 

“They are...Thank you.” Lexa replied with a small shy laugh. 

“So..” Clarke moved to sit on Lexa’s bed facing towards her. “Would it be ok if we talked?” 

Lexa’s eyes dropped back down to her book. 

“I’m sorry Lexa.” Clarke started. “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable or ruined a friendship that we had just started. It was never my intention to upset you.” Clarke looked at Lexa trying to catch her eyes. “But I’m not sorry for kissing you, Lex. I don’t regret it. Not one bit.”

Lexa looked up at Clarke finding her genuine expression. She placed her book and glasses on her bedside table. “I don’t regret it either.” She admitted quietly. 

“So what’s going on? Why did you run from me again?” Clarke finally asked the questions that have been circling her thoughts. 

Lexa looked like she wanted to run again from the confrontation. But Clarke remained calm and just waited for Lexa. 

“I just...I don’t...” Lexa was struggling to find the words. She took a deep breath. “I like you Clarke. I do. But I just can’t do this.” 

It was bittersweet. Clarke nodded not trusting herself to say the right thing right now. Lexa had her reservations and Clarke had no idea what to say to help change that. 

“Clarke...can we just go back to before? I’d really like to be friends with you.” 

“Yeah...yeah we can.” Clarke said understandingly while trying to hide her disappointment. “If that’s what you want, I would like to be friends.” 

 

\-----------------------

 

A week had passed and it felt as though things between her and Lexa were going ok. The apartment had been quiet as Octavia and Lexa were working every day almost as Christmas was just around the corner. There had been moments where she would pass Lexa working at the bar with a simple wave hello, a smile or nod of the head. Clarke didn't stop for conversation and instead found herself trying to get away and spend most of her time outdoors sketching or painting. She spent time painting nature at the local park that had a stream running through it. She visited some viewing platforms in the heart of the city that allowed you to get an amazing view of Melbourne. She was even able to draw some boats docked at the Docklands. Although, if one was really being honest, Clarke would rather be drawing a particular good looking bartender...

Mid December brought more hot weather and Bellamy was throwing a huge a pool party on the weekend. It was the last opportunity to see all her friends before Clarke left for Brisbane for Christmas with her Mum. That plus the idea of a party to take her mind off of things was very tempting. 

"Come on Clarke! Why do you always take the longest to get ready?" Octavia yelled through the apartment. 

"Alright! Alright! I'm ready....I think?" Clarke scrunched up her nose looking back at her reflection of her chosen outfit. 

Octavia walked into her room rolling her eyes. Clarke was wearing a gorgeous dress. The top half of the dress was black and tightly fitted with thin straps and showing great cleavage, the bottom skirt section was white with charcoal coloured flowers flowing and stopping mid thigh. "Yes, you look hot! You always look hot, Clarke. The same as you did with the different dress you had on 20 minutes ago. Now let's go!" Octavia said impatiently. "I'm sure all the girls and guys will be drooling over you even if you wore a paper bag." She winked and lead the girls out to the car.

"Hey, O, do you know if Lexa's going tonight?" Clarke tried to ask casually.

"I'm actually not sure. She's spent a lot of time over at Anya's lately so I haven't really seen her to ask." Octavia shrugged. If Octavia noticed how awkward Clarke's body language had turned she didn't show it. Clarke hopped into her black wrangler to drive the two over to Bellamy's. She was happy to not drink tonight as she had an early flight to catch the following morning. 

Arriving at Bellamy's residence, there were people everywhere. The music was pumping loud, and from the sheer amount of cars out the front Clarke knew word of a Blake party had gotten out. Moving through the house towards the backyard Clarke found a couple of soft drinks for her and Octavia. Before long she had arms wrapped around her in a tight hug.

"Clarkey!! Where have you been?! I need someone that's good at beer pong to help me win!" Raven said with such excitement Clarke knew she was half drunk already.

Clarke giggled at her friend. "Hey Ray, I'm not drinking tonight sorry. I have an early flight to catch."

"Oh come on Griff, we can drink respons..ibly!" Raven said stumbling the last word.

"Ray, to you, drinking responsibly means 'don't spill your drink'." Clarke smirked. 

"Hand me a drink and watch me get fabulous!" Raven said dramatically in a terrible British accent. Clarke and Octavia just laughed and shook their heads as they watched Raven suddenly take off and make her way over to get another drink. 

"Her liver is one tough son of a bitch" Octavia commented. "I'd be worried but that girl never seems to get bad hangovers." She rolled her eyes. "Hey I'm gonna go find Bell and Linc."

"Yeah no worries." Clarke said waving her friend off. She looked around seeing faces she knew and didn't know. There were a bunch of people from Bellamy's basketball team, a LOT of girls here probably from Bellamy's Uni, and a handful of people from their high school. Clarke made her way through the crowd of people to the edge of the decking. From here she could see Raven versing Jasper in beer pong down below on the lawn. A bunch of people were in the pool splashing about. Clarke rested her elbows on the railing sipping her diet coke not focusing on anything in particular. 

The sweet smell of vanilla engulfed her before she knew what hit her. Out the side of her view Lexa had walked up to stand beside her resting her arms on the railing mirroring Clarke. 

"Hi.." Clarke said without being able to stop the big smile forming on her face. Lexa actually showed up to the party.

"Hi" Lexa echoed back returning a shy smile. 

God she looked so attractive. She was wearing tight black biker jeans, a white tank top with a black leather jacket. Her green eyes remarkably standing out in contrast. Lexa's hair was down and her loose curls were pulled over one shoulder. Clarke nearly choked on her drink. She swallowed hard and really tried not to be so damn obvious around the girl she kissed two weeks ago. Was there some type of magic to help make her nerves around the brunette disappear?

"There's a lot more people here than I thought." Lexa spoke with a bit of uncertainty. 

"Yeah, that's Bellamy for ya. In our final year of high school he would throw so many wild parties that the Blake's were becoming a house hold name." Clarke laughed. 

"What was high school Clarke like?" Lexa asked curiously still resting on the railing and absentmindedly looking out in the pools direction. 

"Hmm, well, I was one of those high school girls that preferred watching Harry Potter marathons or baking with my dad over doing hair and make up or shopping like other girls my age." Clarke shrugged. "I was kind of the Mum of the group. Always taking care of everyone. Making sure Monty and Jasper didn't get expelled from all their experiments. Although I have a crazy mixed bunch of friends, you'd find me mostly huddled up in the corner of the library escaping into a fictional world."

Lexa turned a little inwards facing Clarke offering a small smile and Clarke's knees felt that weakness again. The two kept talking light conversation about what movies they liked to watch, music they listened to, what countries they'd visit after university. It was easy and comforting and for the first time since the day they kissed that they actually could hold a continual running conversation. Maybe Clarke could do this 'friends' thing with Lexa.

"Clarke? Is that really you?" A strange voice asked from behind them causing both Clarke and Lexa to turn around. 

"Niylah? Oh my god, hey, what are you doing here?" Clarke asked surprised when she recognised exactly who it was. 

"I still keep in touch with Bell. We actually shared a class together last semester." Niylah responded. 

"Oh cool." Clarke tapped her drink feeling a little awkward. She hadn't seen Niylah since she moved to Brisbane. "You look great. Oh god, I'm sorry. Niylah this is Lexa. Lexa, I know Niylah from high school." Clarke introduced the two who seemed to just politely nod at each other. Lexa displaying her typical stoic expression. 

"It has been a while. You look amazing, Clarke. Just as always." Niylah said slightly lowering her voice, biting her lip and locking eyes with Clarke. 

Clarke just quietly giggled nervously from the unexpected flirting. That certainly turned up the dial on the awkwardness scale. 

"I'll see you around...but I heard that you're back living here now, we should catch up." Niylah offered with a wink before quickly turning on her heels and walking away before Clarke really had a chance to say anything further. 

"Wow.." Clarke said just above a whisper. Unsure what to make of their interaction.

"Well that was...interesting." Lexa commented. 

Clarke just rolled her eyes. She knew it wouldn't be long before she ran into Niylah. She just hoped it was later rather than sooner. 

"You wanted to know about high school Clarke? That was my ex girlfriend." Clarke admitted. 

An outburst of cheering bellowed from below by the pool. Clarke turned to hear cheers of Raven's name by the crowd.

"Oh geez...what is that crazy girl doing now?" Clarke said worriedly. 

Raven had stripped down to her bra and underwear and was attempting to do a hand stand on the edge of the pool without falling in. No doubt following up on a dare from losing a beer pong round. 

"I better go down there and make sure she doesn't kill herself." Clarke rolled her eyes. 

"Of course." Lexa said as Clarke turned to leave. "Oh, and Clarke? Enjoy your time with your Mum over Christmas." Lexa's lips curled into a smile and green eyes locked with blue. Flooding Clarke back with all her emotions she felt two weeks prior. 

"Thanks, Lex. I hope you enjoy your Christmas too." 

 

\---------------------------------- 

 

It was Christmas Eve and Clarke had been in Brisbane for a little over a week. She spent some quality time with her Mum around her Mum’s work schedule, she had caught up with some Polis University friends, she took her morning run along the beautiful beach every day. Clarke felt like she had a nice break. That was until she awoke this morning with an odd feeling in her stomach. A strong unfamiliar feeling weighing her down. 

She missed her. 

She knew she shouldn’t have been having these feelings. She knew being friends meant she shouldn’t allow herself to get caught up in her thoughts too much. But she really couldn’t help it. She missed Lexa.

Clarke thought about texting her multiple times this past week. They had exchanged numbers back when Clarke first moved in to the apartment in case they needed to get in contact with each other but they had never needed to use them. Should Clarke text her? What would she even say?

She decided against her better judgement and sent a text through before she could take it back. 

Clark 7:23pm   
Which Harry Potter house would you put yourself in?

She didn’t have to wait long for a reply. 

Lexa 7:25pm  
Are you secretly hiding somewhere or did you just happen to know that I’m watching half blood prince right now? 

Lexa 7:25  
Ravenclaw

Clarke 7:26  
Haha I’m still in Brisbane, but now I kinda wish I was there watching Harry Potter with you. And you’re totally a Slytherin, by the way...

 

Maybe Lexa was one of those Harry Potter marathon type of girls too. 

Lexa 7:35  
Oh really? And what house would you be in?

Clarke 7:35  
Gryffindor of course!! 

Lexa 7:36  
Should have guessed

Lexa 7:36  
It would be nice if you were here

 

Clarke stared at her screen. What did Lexa mean by that? 

Clarke 7:45  
Two more days and you’ll have to put up with me again..

Lexa 7:46  
And I was just getting use to not hearing Halsey play throughout the apartment.. *winking emoji*

 

Clarke giggled to herself. Does Lexa normally use emojis? She wondered. This was not the best idea to try and get the pretty brunette off her mind. 

Clarke 7:50  
Well it beats the repetitive jingle of constant Christmas carols! My mum has them on repeat day and night. I love carols but it’s like she’s trying to make my ears bleed. 

Lexa 7:51  
Haha thankfully Octavia is a quiet roommate *winking emoji*

 

Again with the winking??

Clarke 7:51  
Ouch! Hey I can bring back some of these Christmas CD’s to share if you like? *winking emoji*

 

Two can play that game. 

Lexa 7:52  
Ok ok...you’re not that bad 

Clarke 7:52  
I’m an absolute delight!

Lexa 7:53  
I do miss your baking...I feel deprived not having choc chip cookies for a week. 

 

I do miss you, Clarke wanted to type out. 

 

Clarke 7:55  
I’ll just have to make my m&m’s cookies when I’m back to make it up to you. 

Lexa 7:55  
Clarke! You’ve been holding out on me this whole time!

Clarke 7:56  
Gotta have some surprises up my sleeve 

 

Were they still talking about cookies?

After Clarke thought Lexa had stopped replying her phone chimed once more. 

Lexa 8:15  
Merry Christmas Clarke 

It was just a simple text. Maybe it was because it was that magical time of year. But for some reason it made Clarke’s heart skip a beat. Clarke was screwed...

Clarke 8:15  
Merry Christmas Lexa


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter eight 

 

The ground was crackling cold under her bare feet. Driven by the thought of seeing those mesmerising eyes, those paralysing lips. Lips with one smile that could erase her frown. Ripping apart the clouds in her days. Counting on the night to bring Clarke closer to her. 

Why is she walking around the streets of Melbourne at night with her shoes off? Because she was too damn stubborn to accept a lift from the airport at 11pm at night. She knew Raven was celebrating getting a new job and didn’t want her friends to be pulled away to pick her up when her plane landed. The city shuttle bus had dropped her four blocks from her apartment. Her heels were killing her. So she opted for walking this stretch of street without them. But they complemented her blue dress perfectly.

Walking with the streetlights, listening to faint post Christmas cheer, lugging her suitcase behind her she was reminded of her younger years living in this energetic city. How her parents would take her to Her Majesty’s Theatre for musicals, how they dined in gorgeous delicious restaurants, and how they walked hours around the botanical gardens often stopping so Clarke could draw something. She really missed those things. Those snippets of precious memories were all she had now. Somewhere along the road she lost her idol, her hero, her best friend. Somehow she managed. She got by. She survived. But was just surviving enough? 

She was working hard towards creating new chapters in her life. To feel she had grown, even if good times seemed a little too far away, she tried to feel like she was always moving forward. The long highway ahead was terrorising....but there were those same green eyes that seemed to make those regrets dwindle away. Calming the storm of her thoughts. And that one voice that could change her heart. She could start living again. 

Clarke opened the rustic familiar apartment door with excitement to see her friends for the first time in almost two weeks. It felt like coming home again. It felt safe and comfortable. A place where she could explore new experiences of life without feeling she would be abandoning any old ones. It’s just what she needed approaching a new year. 

“Clarke!!! You’re finally here!” Raven yelled as she hopped up from the couch and jumped over the back of it to race to Clarke for a hug. 

“Hey new employee of Australia’s Deep Space Network! I’m so proud of you!” Clarke said excitedly hugging her best friend. 

“Thanks Griff! Now come have a drink with me and lose some Mario cart.” Raven teased. 

“Hey! I’m not as bad as O.” Clarke shrugged and they made their way over to the tv where Octavia and Anya were sitting on the three seater lounge. Raven handed Clarke a pear cider as she found her seat next to her girlfriend. Clarke sat down on the adjacent two seater. 

“Watch it Princess! I’ve won the last three races! I’m on a roll!” Octavia said from the couch focusing on the tv and the Mario cart race in play. 

“Well I might just have to knock you off your podium there Luigi.” Clarke smirked. 

Suddenly it was like time had slowed and the sound of her heart increasing speed began to beat in her ears. The bathroom door opened and closed and Clarke couldn’t help the gravitational pull to turn her head to the side and see her. She felt foolish for acting so obvious. But she couldn’t care. She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. It was as if Lexa hung out the stars tonight and Clarke wanted to stargaze all night. 

Lexa returned Clarke’s smile as she made her way over to the couch and sat next to her. 

“Hey you. You’re back.” Lexa said quietly but Clarke didn’t miss the extra cheerful tone of Lexa’s voice. 

“I am.” Clarke replied finding it difficult to find her words. There she goes again...it’s about to get awkward.

“If you two have finished over there with the heart eyes, care to join in on the next race?” Raven teased throwing the girls a controller each. Clarke gave Raven daggers and felt her face blush. 

“Shut up Ray. Just wait until we kick your arse!” Clarke responded. And she gave one more small smile to the brunette next to her. Lexa had quickly focused on her controller and the tv avoiding any more embarrassment. 

Before long, all girls were laughing and stirring each other up as much as possible to throw them off the game. Lexa had actually been the one to kick Octavia off the winners podium. And Clarke managed to beat Raven two out of three times. 

“I guess it’s better being a pretty Princess that it is an ugly green dinosaur, hey Ray?” Clarke joked. 

“Whatever Griff! I totally let you have that round. Plus I’ve been drinking all night and we ran out of snacks!” Raven said pouting her lips. 

“I can whip up some cookies if you want?” Clarke offered with everyone excitedly agreeing. “Ok give me half an hour.” And she made her way to the kitchen. 

Lexa quickly passed her controller to her sister and got up to follow after Clarke. Raven and Anya turning to each other with raised eyebrows. 

“I could help you if you like?” Lexa asked Clarke shyly once they were in the kitchen. 

“Sure. That would be great.” Clarke smiled. Again. 

Clarke collected all the ingredients needed for her dad’s cookie recipe and then pulled out a few m&m packets from her handbag. 

“We’re making m&m cookies?!” Lexa’s eyes lit up and Clarke thought she might die right then and there. 

Clarke chuckled “I told you I would make them for you when I got back.”   
The two exchanged goofy smiles and proceeded to mix the ingredients together to form the cookie dough. Clarke had to keep reminding herself to focus on the task at hand. She was losing all concentration being in such close proximity to Lexa like this. Clarke needed to swat those damn butterflies away. Lexa was just a friend...

——————

“Oh my god Clarke! This cookie is like an orgasm in my mouth!” Raven said with half a mouth full. 

“Yeah Princess, your best cookies yet!” Octavia said in agreement. 

“Well, I had some really good help this time.” Clarke replied with a shy smile towards Lexa who had some pink to her cheeks. 

“So why the nickname Princess?” Anya asked attempting to take some attention off her sister. 

“Oh it’s really a long boring story that you wouldn’t want to hear.” Clarke tried to brush off. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. 

“It’s fucking hilarious! I will share it with you.” Octavia giggled and stood up from the couch to start telling the story behind the name. 

“Oh no....Please O, I’ll do dishes for a month?” Clarke pleaded throwing her head back against the couch and her hands up to cover her face. 

“Nope! This is payback for the time you told everyone about me and Jasper!” Octavia said. 

“You and Jasper?!” Anya and Lexa said shocked at the same time. 

“Ahh....yeah long time ago. I was drunk. Young. Foolish. Not really worth talking about.” She continued nonchalantly. 

“You weren’t drunk O...” Clarke reminded her. 

“Anyway! Back to Miss Princess here.” Octavia turned the attention back on to Clarke and all eyes begged to hear the story. Clarke sat back in the couch hoping to be swallowed up and removed from this situation. “We were ten years old and it was pretty much the reason Clarke and I became friends. Clarke use to have all the boys and girls chasing her even at that age.” Octavia said rolling her eyes. “We’re at our schools playground at lunch and this one boy Murphy, I’ll never forget him, starts teasing Clarke about her wearing glasses. I’m sure he was only trying to catch Clarke’s attention but I found this rather insulting as my older brother had to wear them and I never thought they were a bad thing. So when Murphy was in Clarke’s face being a little shit, I ran up to him and pushed him over then proceeded to punch him in the face.” 

“Woah...remind me to never say anything mean about the blonde in your presence.” Anya joked. 

Octavia chucked “Murphy ran off crying and Clarke stood there in shock. She then turned to me to say, and I quote: You’re my hero! You’re my Prince! And that makes me the Princess!!” 

Everyone erupted into fits of laughter. Even Clarke was giggling along with the story. 

“Clarke never was one to care about gender she just knew she was a blonde haired blue eyed Princess like those Disney movies.” Octavia continued. “Hence, the name stuck.”

“I’m not sure that’s really how it went.” Clarke tried. 

“That’s exactly what happened Griff!” Octavia laughed more. 

“You wear glasses?” Lexa asked curiously. 

Octavia started laughing again even harder. “That’s the funny part of the story. Clarke made fake glasses and drew a lightning bolt on her head because she thought she was Harry Potter!” She said between bits of laughter. 

“Come on....I had just gotten the first book for my birthday. Everyone wanted to be Harry Potter!” Clarke attempted to defend her ten year old self. She couldn’t help searching for those green eyes again to find one of the most gorgeous smiles she’d ever seen. 

 

————————

 

Four days had passed and it was New Years Eve. And if you asked Octavia it was the biggest day of the year. Her bar was hosting one of the hottest New Years Eve parties in town. If the night went as expected she would have ground breaking publicity and have most of Melbourne talking about it. Clarke was ready to welcome in the start of a fresh year ahead. Tickets had sold out months ago for the party downstairs and all of Clarke’s friends were going to be there. 

Octavia had closed the bar for a couple of nights prior to give her staff a nice time off before having everyone work the last night of 2017. Those working included Lexa. Clarke had found out that Lexa would finish her shift at 11pm so she could hopefully find some time to talk to her before midnight. That’s if Lexa wanted to hang around in such a huge drunken crowd. That’s if Lexa wanted to spend her last hour of the year with her. That’s if the plan actually worked and Clarke was able to steal a kiss with the excuse of New Years Eve. 

A lot of variables. A lot of room for error. But Clarke had to try. 

 

Clarke ventured downstairs at about 8pm. The walls were shaking, bodies were dancing, and there wasn’t an empty hand in the whole bar. The bartenders certainly had their work cut out for them. Clarke squeezed her way through a sea of people. Many guys and girls hitting on the blonde but she just smiled and continued moving forward. She liked the way she looked tonight a simple but sexy red dress that hugged her in all the right places, stopping mid thigh and showing off her generous cleavage. Her hair was straightened and she took extra time with making sure her makeup was perfect. 

“Hey Clarke! Over here!” She heard Bellamy yell over the music. The group of friends were all sitting around a couple of booths that Octavia reserved for them for the night. 

“Hey everyone! Geez it is a full house tonight!” She said in amazement. Clarke had never seen the bar this full in all the years Octavia had owned it. 

“Best to order at least two drinks at a time as it will take a long time lining up.” Monty suggested. 

“Where’s O? She has her full team working tonight, doesn’t she?” Clarke asked directing her question to Bellamy. 

“She’s stuck working the bar at the moment. She had two staff members call in sick. Which is bullshit. I bet they just wanted to be somewhere else tonight.” Bellamy said frustrated. 

“Oh crap. That’s not good. Do you think she’ll be able to get away for a bit later to party with us?” She replied. 

“Who knows? You seen that crowd Clarke? It’s the biggest night of O’s life right now. If she doesn’t hit it the way it deserves then you know the papers will slam her for it and she’ll never get another shot like this.” Bellamy said sighing and slumping his shoulders. 

“Yeah you’re right. Hey I’m going to head over to the bar ok?” Clarke said turning back into the swarm of bodies. 

Clarke finally squirmed through the crown and reached the side of the bar. She tried to avoid eyes that thought she was pushing in line and lifted the swing door to get behind the bar. Lincoln gave her a confused look but he was busy making a stack of shots. It had been two years since she stood this side of the bar but it had to be like riding a bike right? 

“Hey Clarke, what are you doing back here?” A younger boy asked. 

“Hi Wells! Um...well...I’m helping you guys out! Sure looks like you need it.” She said putting an apron on and grabbing a hand towel to tuck into the aprons waist strap. Turning towards the next customers waiting to be served “Hello, what can I get you?” 

Wells and Lincoln didn’t have a chance to say anything further the people were demanding and not stopping for one moment. They knew the crowd was getting rowdy with the extended times to get their drinks. They needed all the help they could get. 

A few minutes had passed and Clarke ran into Octavia at the till processing cash payments. 

“Clarke?!! What the hell are you doing?” Octavia exclaimed. 

“Hi O, I’m helping you out. This crowd is ruthless and Bellamy said you had a few staff cancel on you tonight.” Clarke said casually. 

“Yeah bastards probably went to the casino party down the road.” Octavia said disappointedly. “Don’t worry, they no longer have their job. And you don’t have to do this, Clarke. We’ll manage.” 

“O, you’re my best friend I would do anything for you. Plus I did 18 months of this remember? I use to be your number one cocktail girl.” She joked with a wink. “Honestly, we’re going to smash it tonight O, you will be the talk of the town!” 

“Thank you Griff. I really appreciate it.” Octavia said as she hugged her best friend. 

“Ok let’s do this!” Clarke yelled moving back to serve more drinks. 

—————

 

About an hour had passed after that and Lexa brushed past Clarke to reach for the sambuca. Clarke had quickly seen Lexa over in the far side of the bar but this was the first time all night they had come close enough to talk. 

“Hi..” She heard Lexa say and very briefly caught her eyes roaming down her body. 

“Ah..hi..” Clarke offered back with a smile. She watched Lexa grab the sambuca bottle from a high shelf and turn away back to her side of the bar. Clarke almost stumbled with making her next few drinks and she noticed Lincoln’s questioning eyes again. She ignored it and kept serving. 

For the next hour after that she worked up the courage to steal glances towards Lexa, often finding her eyes already looking at her. Shy smiles were exchanged from across the bar and some even a little bold, a little flirty, Clarke would say. Both girls weren’t hiding the fact that they would let their eyes fall checking out the other person. Clarke liked this. Lexa seemed somewhat confident not displaying her usual expression of uncertainty. Was this just her typical work cool-headedness? Or was she actually becoming more comfortable around Clarke? Time will tell...only another half an hour to go working the bar. 

 

It reached 11pm and four new staff members arrived to take over. Clarke, Lexa and Octavia were able to finish up serving, make a couple drinks for themselves and head over to the booth to join their friends and celebrate the night.

“You didn’t have to help Octavia out tonight.” Lexa commented to Clarke when they reached their friends and sat down next to each other in the booth. 

“The amount of times that girl has saved my arse in the past, it was the least I could do.” Clarke waved off nonchalantly. 

“Oh right...how could I forget Princess.” Lexa teased lightly nudging Clarke. 

“Oh shut up.” Clarke laughed. 

Lexa giggled taking a drink from her whiskey. 

“You look beautiful tonight, Clarke.” Lexa said quietly just loud enough for Clarke to hear. 

Clarke turned to lock eyes with her and it was like she was the only one in the room. All of Lexa’s attention was focused on Clarke and she felt how much Lexa meant her last words just from how intense her eyes were. 

A little time had gone by with everyone at the booths drinking and laughing. Clarke and Lexa participating at times but mainly keeping to themselves and small talk. 

“Dance with me?” Clarke asked before she chickened out. 

Lexa looked down to her drink. Clarke began to think she shouldn’t have asked. Lexa was probably about to turn her down especially when last times dancing together didn’t end so well. But that was months ago. They were friends now...right?

Lexa downed the rest of her whiskey and nodded to Clarke. Wait, what? She was agreeing to dancing? Maybe Lexa had a hard time saying no the way Clarke did. Clarke stood up and started walking through the crowd towards the dance floor. She didn’t want to lose Lexa especially with how insane the crowd was so she quickly reached down to grab Lexa’s hand. Her hand was a little sweaty but Clarke didn’t mind. This was way out of Lexa’s comfort zone and she was thankful enough that the girl was here spending time with her. 

Party anthem songs we’re bringing in the new year and it was an addictive happy feeling dancing around strangers who were all having a fun time. Even Lexa had a big smile on her face. Clarke chose to just dance casually with Lexa. No touchy feely or grinding tonight. She did not have enough alcohol in her system for that. They would sing along when they knew the words and jumped around when the crowd got involved with the DJ. Clarke was having the best time. And Lexa looked to be having fun too. 

The huge screen tv located above the DJ was displaying a clock that had been counting down to midnight. It showed five minutes to go. 

“Do you want to get back to your friends?” Lexa asked getting close to Clarke so she could hear. 

Clarke shook her head “Not really. I’m happy dancing with you.” Clarke smiled and Lexa returned the smile nodding to confirm she wanted to stay dancing with Clarke too. 

The two kept an intense stare with each other dancing like they were the only two in the room. The minutes passed in slow motion and Clarke was sure she could start to feel her heart beat out of her chest. She was nervous. The countdown ticking away. The moment getting closer and closer. 

“10....9.....8....” the crowd cheered loud. 

But Lexa just stopped moving and stared further into Clarke’s eyes. Clarke was sure she could see her soul. Clarke’s eyes faltered down to Lexa’s lips. How she could barely wait to taste them again. 

“3....2....1...”

Clarke’s breath caught in her throat. This was it. Now or never. Everyone around them kissing, hugging, yelling ‘Happy New Year’, but all Clarke could think, hear, see was Lexa. Lexa looking so fucking beautiful. Lexa standing close right in front of her. Lexa leaning in...

 

Clarke slowly closed her eyes. Then she felt it. Lips against hers. They felt familiar but they didn’t feel like Lexa...

 

Clarke opened her eyes to find another’s lips on hers. Lexa wasn’t there. Clarke immediately pulled away. 

 

“Niylah?! What the hell are you doing?”


	9. Chapter nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I just want to say thank you for all of the positive comments. It is very much appreciated.   
> Sorry for taking longer than normal in posting this chapter. A lot happens and I wanted to wait until I felt happy that I made it as close to what I envisioned. Enjoy

Chapter nine 

 

“Niylah?! What the hell are you doing?”

 

It was as if the world suddenly flipped on its axis. Clarke’s eyes fluttering open trying to shake herself back to reality. Frantically searching for Lexa in the ocean of celebrations. Her body still felt frozen in time. How did this even happen? It was like seconds took minutes and the thick fog that enclosed Clarke and Lexa into their own little bubble was slowly lifting. Clarke was in a state of shock but her memory was coming back to her. 

She remembers having Lexa right in front of her. She remembers the look in her green eyes. Like she was ready. Like she revealed her deepest thoughts with unspoken words. 

Then the realisation invaded her mind. She was so caught up in Lexa she didn’t even notice. She thought the room was spinning around her. She didn’t know she was the one getting pulled around. Niylah had found her, turned her and kissed her. Niylah stole her kiss from Lexa. Anger started to rise in Clarke. 

“Niylah!” Clarke yelled again when her ex was smiling brightly in front of her. Clarke felt a hand on her right hip and another slide around her neck. Niylah was leaning in again. 

Clarke gained control of her arms and legs again and pushed the girl back off of her before their lips could touch. 

“No. This is not happening. Not now. Not ever.” Clarke firmly told her. 

“Oh come on, Clarke. Just for old time sake.” Niylah smiled flirtatiously. 

And it was at that point that Clarke’s senses of awareness kept hitting her at full force. Clarke felt this uncomfortable feeling in her stomach towards Niylah. She didn’t want to be anywhere near her. There was a time when all Clarke wanted was to hear that Niylah would wait for her. She’d move interstate but they could figure it out. But Niylah broke it off wanting to ‘explore her options’. Now, the once immeasurable love she felt for this girl was left as nothing but resentment and disgust. 

“Clarke...” Niylah said tried again. 

Clarke’s face turned into a sour frown. She hated the way she said her name. That was enough for Clarke to put her actions into overdrive. 

“Leave me alone Niylah! You won’t ruin me again.” 

Clarke turned and backed away from her ex without another second wasted. She could feel her cheeks hot with frustration. She had to find Lexa. She had to find the girl whose lips should have been her New Years kiss.

 

Clarke pushed her way through the crowd her first stop would be where her group of friends were celebrating all night. Navigating through the crowd was harder than before. People were not in a hurry to move out of the way. Clarke didn’t care if she was a little more forceful pushing her way past bodies. Her new found anger had her completely sober and she didn’t have time to deal with drunk strangers right now. 

“Hey, have you seen Lexa?” Clarke asked Octavia and Bellamy when she reached her friends. 

“Clarke! Happy New Year!” They both wrapped her up in a tight hug. 

“Yes, happy new year guys! But I’m looking for Lexa, have you seen her?” Clarke said with concern. 

“Nope, I thought she was with you?” Octavia replied in confusion. 

“Ok I’m going to go find her.”

 

———————

 

The door closed behind her and for the first time in hours her ears were grateful the loud music was muffled and she could start to hear herself think again. Lexa had to be in here in the apartment. Clarke didn’t think she would stay down amongst the ruckus full bar. 

“Lexa?” Clarke called out. Not that she expected the brunette to appear in front of her and offer her that trademark smile, but she hoped she would get some indication that Lexa was here and that she was ok. 

A noise came from inside Lexa’s bedroom. A noise that sounded like something hitting against the wall. 

Clarke walked up to Lexa’s closed bedroom door and knocked “Lexa?” She tried with a calm voice. There was only a brief moment of somebody moving around the room. Then it stopped. 

The silence was deafening. 

“Lexa...please...just let me in. Let’s talk...” Clarke pleaded and rested her forehead against the door. She knew Lexa left the bar because of her ex kissing her. She knew any progress that might have been made was now fragile and at risk of shattering into a million pieces. Lexa would probably build those walls up again and with that Clarke started to feel defeated. 

She stood there with her energy draining out of her and her body pressed against Lexa’s door. Minutes had passed and Clarke wasn’t sure at what point she should give up and walk away. Before that moment arrived she felt the weight of her body fall forward. She stumbled until she felt strong arms around her stopping her from falling down completely face first. Lexa had caught her with quick reflexes. So those toned biceps do come in handy. 

“Oh..I’m sorry your door was holding me up.” Clarke said shyly as Lexa’s arms felt warm and tender. But that all ended too soon and Lexa took a few steps back releasing Clarke from her hold. 

 

“What do you want Clarke?” Lexa said coldly with her perfected stoic expression. Clarke couldn’t read this type of Lexa. Was she upset, angry, hurt? She just looked like she was about to lead an army into battle. 

 

“Lex, I don’t know what happened back there. I mean, it all happened so fast...I swear I didn’t even know Niylah was even at the party.”

 

Clarke just felt Lexa’s cold stare right down to her core. Lexa’s whole persona had definitely changed. All that Clarke knew was that she was affected by what had happened. 

“You are free to do whatever you want, Clarke.” Lexa said and turned away moving over towards her desk. 

“But that’s the thing...” Clarke started slowly moving to follow Lexa. “That’s not what I wanted.” Taking another step towards Lexa now only a couple of feet apart. She felt angry that Niylah was the reason Lexa distanced herself from Clarke again. She felt all these feelings and she needed to tell Lexa. “What I wanted was right in front of me...” Clarke took another step into Lexa’s space catching the brunette off guard and forcing her to back up a step this causing the back of her thighs to hit her desk. Clarke’s eyes filled with desire staring straight into Lexa’s. 

“Clarke..” Lexa whispered out in a half attempted warning. 

“And I know you wanted me too...” Clarke pressed on. “I saw it in your eyes, the way you looked at me. You allowed yourself to start acting on your feelings.” Clarke knew she was confronting Lexa. She knew she was making her uncomfortable but she had to get Lexa to understand that she felt the same. 

“You have no idea what you do to me...and god I’m scared. But I will take this weight from you. I will show you that you can trust me, Lexa. I will do it all if you let me.” Clarke finished almost out of breath. 

Clarke could see the battle Lexa was having inside her head. Her eyes filled up glassy and a tear ran down her cheek. Clarke gently wiped it away and rested her hand there. Clarke was overwhelmed with emotions. She finally poured everything out for Lexa who is still silent and staring back at her. They’re so close Clarke can feel Lexa’s shaky breath, her trembling hands. 

Clarke wants to calm Lexa. Tell her that it’s ok. She wants to show her it will be ok. Clarke leans in closing the last few inches of space. She slightly lifts her chin up and delicately connects her lips with Lexa’s. The kiss is gentle, slow, understanding and holds so much meaning behind it. Lexa is yet to return the kiss, so Clarke pulls away resting her forehead against the brunettes. 

 

There’s noise coming from the front door to the apartment as it opens and closes. Clarke’s friends have moved the party to their apartment for the rest of the night. Someone turns music on filling the empty silence between them. 

Clarke takes a step back to give Lexa some breathing space. Still Lexa stands unmoved against her desk. Clarke decides to slowly walk out of her bedroom. Leaving Lexa to evaluate what just happened and to make her decision. 

 

—————————

 

Clarke stood in the corner of the kitchen like a tired boxer, one hand hanging on the rope of feelings from last night. Lexa didn’t venture out of her room last night. Clarke tried to ignore the sudden anxiety blooming in her gut, but it only served her further uneasiness. Even her 8km run this morning didn’t help. Running always helped. 

The soft flowing stream of hot water washing over her torso felt refreshing against her skin. Clarke was ready for these feelings to consume her. She was utterly exhausted from trying to keep up with her mind. So she would just let it be. No more fighting it. She wouldn’t keep her feelings for Lexa bottled up anymore. 

After her long shower and feeling a little guilty that she may have used a large portion of the mornings hot water, she dressed in some lazy grey sweat pants with a white Henley t-shirt. If today was going to be awkward she at least was going to physically feel comfortable. 

Anya and Raven were slouched over the breakfast bar in the kitchen. It looks as though they tried making it to the coffee machine. Clarke quietly chuckled at the sight and decided to turn the coffee machine on to warm up. Both girls eyes shooting open when the smell of coffee beans hit their nose. 

“Good morning.” Clarke said in a happy tone. Anya rolled her eyes and rested her head back down on the counter. 

“How the hell are you not hungover, Clarke?” Raven grumbled. 

Clarke giggled “because I actually only had a couple of drinks. Speaking of...why do you look like death warmed up? You normally don’t suffer the morning after this bad.” She questioned. 

“Hmm...we started doing tequila shots when we got back up here and I honestly lost count at how many I did.” Raven admitted and Anya laughed at her girlfriends expense. When Clarke exited Lexa’s room last night she celebrated with her friends for a short while then called it a night from how tired the evenings events made her. 

Clarke pushed two coffees towards Raven and Anya and sipped from her own. She started making a few more mugs anticipating the rest of her friends stirring once the fresh coffee smell filled the apartment. 

Monty and Nathan had crashed on the couch and Jasper was buried under blankets on the floor nearby. Looking like he just passed out at some point and one of them threw blankets on top of him. Bellamy was also curled up on the floor but he got the spare fold out mattress out to sleep on. And Linc...

Octavia’s door opened and she walked out her room followed closely behind by Lincoln. Oh there he is. Clarke smirked and the death stare her best friend was giving her told her to keep her comments to herself right now. The two grabbed a coffee each with a relieved appreciation and moved to the dining table. 

From across the apartment Clarke heard the sound she was nervously waiting for. Lexa’s door opening and closing. Clarke’s heart jumping at the sight of the gorgeous brunette. How could this girl keep doing that to her? Clarke waited to see those mesmerising green eyes. But the moment never came...Lexa avoided eye contact and slipped into the bathroom to shower. That could not have been a good sign, Clarke thought. 

Perhaps she came on too strong last night. Perhaps she should have allowed Lexa to have more space like last time and approach her in a couple of days. Clarke couldn’t stop the doubts. The waiting was tearing her apart. And now she’s sipping her coffee wondering what it’s going to take for a moment to arrive where she no longer feels this sick and paralysed from this unashamed desire. 

A few minutes had passed and the boys awoke from the lounge room and funny moments from the party the night before were relived in their discussions. Clarke couldn’t help giggle at some of the stories that she missed while bartending. Apparently at one point, Jasper took his shirt off stood up on the table and declared his undying love for jagermeister. 

Everyone was getting hungry and as Clarke was the only one not hungover she agreed to make breakfast. She wanted to make her fathers pancake recipe that was always a favourite among her friends. Mixing up the batter she smelt the familiar sweet vanilla and honey scent fill the kitchen. Clarke’s cheeks blushed a little and a smile grew before even looking at the girl. There’s those butterflies again. Clarke nervously turned her head and found Lexa’s eyes. God she was so captivating. Her dark hair was still half wet and hanging down over one shoulder in a loose braid. She was wearing black jeans and a red checkered flannel. 

“Want some help with breakfast?” Lexa asked casually. Except it was anything but casual. It was a simple question and Clarke knew it was Lexa’s small non confronting way of saying she would meet Clarke half way. She was willing to at least talk to her. It wasn’t a love confession but it was a start. 

“I’d like that.” Clarke said smiling. And Lexa’s lips curled up into a small cute smile too. 

The two continued cooking up pancakes for the group and everyone dives in pilling their plates up devouring them like they haven’t eaten all week. 

Clarke and Lexa were the only ones left to eat and Clarke started cooking their pancakes. 

“Hey Lex?” Clarke asked.

“Mmm..” Lexa hummed eyes lifting up to meet Clarke’s. 

“Have you ever added m&m’s to your pancake batter?” Clarke winked and pulled out a packet of chocolates. 

Lexa gasped with excitement and her eyes lit up bright. Clarke couldn’t hide her goofy grin. She adored her. 

 

———————

 

A few hours later everyone had left the apartment to go to their respective homes. Octavia even left to go to Lincoln’s house so they could have some alone time. The place suddenly felt really quiet. Lexa was sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter and Clarke was leaning against the counter a few short feet away. 

“Do you have any plans today?” Clarke asked timidly. All confidence vanishing the moment the two were left alone. 

“No not really..” Lexa replied looking down at her hands fidgeting. 

“I was going to check out this new art gallery show that opens tonight. Would you like to join me? It could be fun.” Clarke’s eyes slowly lifted to catch Lexa’s reaction. Her green eyes still focused downwards. 

“Yes I’d like to go with you.” Lexa said with a smile forming. 

“Great!” Clarke exclaimed probably a little too excitedly. Maybe now was a good time to bring up last night? Clarke could ask Lexa how she felt. Figure out where she stood. “Um...so Lex...do you...maybe want to go put a movie on?” She chickened out. She’ll bring it up later. 

Lexa giggled “Only if I get to pick the movie.” Lexa gave Clarke a small wink and moved towards the couch. Well right then and there Clarke melted. She stood no chance going back now. She gave into the magnetic pull that Lexa was and sat down next to her in the couch.

Lexa pulled a fleece over the both of them and they got comfortable while Lexa picked out a movie. 

“The Deathly Hallows part two?” Clarke asked excitedly. 

“I have been watching them all since the first time we watched philosophers stone months ago. I’m up to the last one.” Lexa shrugged. 

Clarke’s smile grew even bigger if that was even possible. 

“Ok I’ll make the popcorn. This movie is one long hell of a ride.” And Clarke got up briefly to bring them popcorn and drinks. 

 

About an hour into the movie Clarke couldn’t take it anymore. She was feeling restless the whole time. Lexa was so close yet so far. She wanted to get closer but she didn’t know if Lexa wanted that yet. She thought back to her decision earlier that morning. Clarke wasn’t going to hide her feelings anymore. She shifted closer to Lexa so that she was sitting right next to her and their thighs were touching under the fleece. Clarke slowly took Lexa’s right hand into her left and entwined their fingers. 

“Is this ok?” Clarke asked calmly. 

Lexa surprisingly didn’t pull her hand away. She just nodded shyly. Clarke felt her her stiffen and then slowly relax under her hold. 

It didn’t take long for Clarke’s eyes to wonder from the screen to the beautiful girl sitting next to her. She’s held her hand before but this was different. This was new. 

Lexa must have been starting to feel blue eyes burning on her “You’re not watching..” she commented without moving her own eyes off the screen. 

Clarke thought she had met the most hypnotising thing in the world. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Lexa even if she wanted to. Lexa’s presence drew her in, sucked every ounce of control Clarke thought she had. And fuck it, for the sake of being overly cheesy “I’m watching something far more captivating.”

A blush crept up on to Lexa’s cheeks but she still focused her eyes forward on the movie playing. Clarke wanted to run her fingers through her hair, place a hand over her reddened cheek, glide her thumb over those perfect lips... But Clarke opted for resting her head on the brunettes shoulder instead. Clarke didn’t want to risk ruining the moment. She didn’t want to scare Lexa if she moved too quick. All that mattered was that Lexa wasn’t running. 

 

——————

 

“So where are you going?” Raven asked through the phone. 

“It’s a new art show called Azgeda, a famous artist by the name of Nia Queen has opened the gallery up. She has displayed a lot of her work and her nieces recent work. Her niece has just completed her masters. It would be good to see the standard of work I’m expected to present when I start uni again.” Clarke rattled off to Raven. 

“I don’t think you should compare yourself to some spoon fed masters grad who probably only got there because of her aunts status.” Raven basically rolled her eyes through the phone. 

“I think her niece is pretty good. Who knows? Maybe it runs in the family.” 

“Anyways...you guys are going to meet up with us at O’s bar afterwards, right?” Raven asked 

“Yeah of course. Although, I don’t know how you want to drink again so soon after last night.” Clarke said in disbelief. 

“We are just awesome like that! Plus it’s not so much drinking as it is a pool tournament! I have to beat Monty this time!” Raven said with confidence. 

“Ok Miss Awesome....black lace dress or sunset navi dress?” 

“Oh definitely your cute black lace dress! Lexa’s going to have her jaw hit the groun..”

“Alright thanks Ray, I’m going to go now!” Clarke cut her friend off before she could turn the conversation into more teasing. 

“Have fun Griff, seriously you deserve it.” Raven offered thoughtfully. 

“Thanks Ray....I’m actually kinda nervous and I never get nervous.” Clarke admitted. 

“It’ll be great. You’ll look hot. Lexa already has heart eyes for you. And you get to nerd out over art and shit. It’ll be a great first date.” 

“It’s not a date.” Clarke said a little all too quickly. 

“Sure Griff. Anyways, we’ll see you later tonight.” Raven said while smirking. 

“Mmm...yeah see ya.” Clarke hung up the call and then quickly got ready for her ‘night out’ with Lexa. 

 

Moments later Clarke notices it’s time to leave for the art show. She takes one last look in her mirror and heads out of her bedroom to meet Lexa. 

Clarke checks that she has everything with her as she walks down the short hall to the lounge room. Lexa is waiting by the front door and she looks fidgety until her eyes meet Clarke’s. And fuck...Clarke was so worried about looking good for Lexa she didn’t prepare herself for how fucking amazing Lexa would look dressed in a black suit pants with a tight white shirt with sleeves rolled up her forearms. Her hair had small braids running down one side with the other side flowing wavy around her shoulder. She didn’t have much make up on but her eye liner and mascara made her eyes simply stunning. Clarke felt her trachea tighten. It suddenly got a little harder to breathe. Keep your cool Griffin! She mentally yelled at herself. 

“Hey, you look great. Ready to go?” Clarke said a lot more steadily than she thought she would. “I was thinking we could just catch a taxi there and back? Saves having to worry about parking.” 

“Hey, Yeah sure sounds good.” Lexa replied. 

 

They headed out downstairs to the front to get in the taxi that Clarke ordered. Lexa opened Clarke’s door to assist her into the cab. Not a lot of words were said between the girls. Both a little shy to start a conversation. After minutes of silence it was Lexa who spoke up first. 

“You look great as well, Clarke.” Lexa said wearing a smile. The kind of smile that Clarke could just melt from. 

She returned the smile “thank you.” 

————————

 

“This has to be my favourite piece here.” Clarke commented on a gorgeous large painting that depicted an elderly women looking out of a window watching young children play. “I feel like the artist is trying to send a message like ‘Getting outside is good for the soul’. Looking past the obvious, close observation and engagement of the subject is my process. The challenge is to see beyond the distraction of the conspicuous to capture its unique self. When I paint, my goal is to inspire those who see my work to look more carefully at the world around them, to discover beauty in unusual places.” Clarke talks about art while Lexa stands next to her looking more at the blonde than at the artwork. Clarke rattled on about the paintings to hide her nerves. 

Clarke keeps glancing at the brunette to find eyes already on her. Every time.   
“We are here to see the artwork Lexa, but something tells me you’re not really interested.” 

“I really like watching you talk about art. You’re so passionate.” Lexa said. 

Clarke feels her cheeks turn a little pink. “I’m glad you’re here with me. Come on we only have one more section to see.”

 

———————

 

Their taxi pulls up just outside Octavia’s bar. Clarke pays the cab driver and both girls get out of the vehicle. Clarke is a little sad that their time alone together has come to an end. But she’s ready to head inside and have a few drinks with her friends. Before she can enter the bar he phone starts to ring. It’s her Mum and she has yet to speak to her to wish her a happy new year ahead. 

“Sorry Lex, it’s my Mum. I should probably get this. Feel free to go inside. I’ll be in soon.” She said to Lexa. 

“Of course.” Lexa replied and she went ahead into the bar. 

 

“Hi Mum!” Clarke said as she hit the answer button on her phone. 

“Hi sweetie! Happy new year!” Abby said through the phone. 

“Happy new year Mum. Have you been at work?” 

“Yeah I have done a few double shifts lately everyone is wanting time off for the holidays.” 

“Don’t wear yourself down Mum, that’s why as head surgeon you can get others to do the work for you.” Clarke suggested. 

“It doesn’t quite work that way honey.” Abby laughed lightly. “Did you enjoy Octavia’s big party?”

“Yeah it turned out to be massive Mum! I think she’s really made a name for herself.” Clarke replied and then thought back to a pretty brunette that she wants to go spend more time with. “Hey Mum, I gotta go but I’ll call you soon, ok?”

“Sure sweetie. Be safe. Call me more often.” Abby said affectionately. 

“Ok bye Mum.” And Clarke hung up the phone. 

Clarke missed her Mum. She knew it was hard for her Mum to be on her own living interstate. She had a few friends but Clarke knew her Mum only threw herself into her job more and more since she lost her husband. Clarke made a mental note to call her Mum more often. 

Clarke headed inside the bar and found the booth where her friends were sitting but Lexa was not with them. One of the first things she noticed was the look on Anya’s face as she approached the table and sat down. It was a look that could cut glass. Like she was ready to kill someone. 

“Hey guys.” Clarke greeted her friends. She tried looking at Raven for more information on what happened to cause Anya to be upset but Raven wasn’t offering anything. So she asked “Anya are you ok?” 

After a moment it looked like the question finally got through to her and she shook her head and motioned across the room to where Lexa was standing and talking to a rather pretty girl. 

“That’s Lexa’s horrible ex girlfriend. I don’t know why the fuck she’s here and why she thinks she can talk to Lexa. She’s lucky I haven’t already punched her face in.” Anya said in a deep unrecognisable voice. 

“You know you can’t do that here in O’s bar, An.” Raven said. 

Clarke’s eyebrows raised. Surely if Anya wanted to hurt this girl then she must have really hurt Lexa. The bar around them was about half full. A lot less than the night before but Clarke needed to make sure Lexa was ok. Clarke couldn’t see Lexa’s face unsure of whether what she was about to do would be welcomed or not. Clarke started to stand up to walk off in the direction of Lexa. But her wrist was pulled back. 

“What are you going to do?” Anya glared. 

“Don’t worry. I have an idea.” She said back to Anya calmly who nodded in return. 

Clarke reapplied her red lipstick making sure her hair was also perfect. She left her purse with her friends at the table and made her way over to Lexa with one goal in mind. Her heels made it easy take steps with a little more attitude. When she got closer she could see Lexa’s eyes and they looked nothing like what Clarke had seen before. They looked hurt and angry. They looked glassy like she might have been close to crying. Her face was frowning and her body stood tired almost defeated...this was not the Lexa she had spent all day with. 

Clarke reached Lexa in no time and immediately wrapped her right hand behind Lexa’s neck and the other hand resting affectionately on her shoulder. Lexa’s eyes slightly changed from frowning to surprised but Clarke didn’t falter. 

“Hi baby! I’m so sorry I’m late.” Clarke said sweetly. “You know how the Melbourne traffic can be. Wow...you’re so beautiful.” Clarke said speaking directly to Lexa. Lexa immediately picked up on what Clarke was doing and she turned slightly towards Clarke into her hold and placed both her hands on Clarke’s hips. Lexa’s eyes were already more herself and Clarke could feel her relax against her. 

“Hey babe...I’m glad you’re here.” Lexa replied playing along now with a smile on her face. Neither girl paying attention to Lexa’s ex girlfriend. It didn’t take long for Clarke to get what she wanted. Clarke’s eyes locked with Lexa’s and she felt the same intensity she felt ever since the two met. Their bodies were pressed tight against each other and their lips were mere inches apart. Clarke’s eyes were flickering down to Lexa’s lips and she could see Lexa doing the same with her. Lexa looked so good and Clarke felt like this should have happened in private with just the two of them, but now was a good a time as any. Clarke leaned in and connected her lips to Lexa’s. Lexa reciprocated the kiss immediately. The kiss was so fierce, passionate, sweet and exactly how Clark wanted to kiss Lexa for the rest of her days. Lexa’s lips were soft and perfect. Clarke wanted to explore them more and more. But she would be patient. She would take it slow. Once the kiss slowed they pulled apart and rested foreheads against each other. 

“Don’t tell me you actually choose to be with this freak?” Clarke heard Lexa’s ex spit out in an angry tone. Clarke noticed the look of fear in Lexa’s eyes instantly almost like she had forgotten the other girl was still standing there. Clarke would much rather walk away and take Lexa somewhere to make sure she was ok rather than respond to someone calling the gorgeous brunette a freak. What seriously warrants someone calling another person that? Calling Lexa that? 

Clarke somewhat pulls away from Lexa and for the first time looks to the girl who openly insulted Lexa. She gazed over her briefly. Lexa’s ex had dark curly hair with hazel eyes. She was pretty or at least would be pretty if she acted like a normal human being. 

“Actually, I kinda have a thing for really hot freaks.” Clarke said with a smirk. “Come on Lex, come dance with me.” And she winked at Lexa while stepping away and lightly tugging her arm to follow. Leaving Lexa’s ex speechless and standing there on her own. 

Clarke lead Lexa to the dance floor and neither looked back at Lexa’s ex. Clarke immediately wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and hugged her.

“I’m sorry if that was too much.” Clarke whispered into Lexa’s ear as they hugged. “I just couldn’t let her treat you that way. And I figured kissing you was better than Anya punching her face.” She giggled. 

“It was great...thank you Clarke.” Lexa said with a little bit of sadness in her voice. 

“She’s wrong you know? You’re incredible Lexa and don’t let anyone, especially an ex, tell you otherwise.” Clarke said as they faced each other looking into green again. “I meant what I said...you’re so beautiful, Lex.” Clarke said genuinely. 

Lexa lowered her head, looked to the floor and shook her head. 

“Oh my god, you don’t even know. You don’t even see it.” Clarke’s hands reached up and cupped both sides of Lexa’s face lifting her eyes up to meet her own again. “You have to believe me Lexa. You have to know. I will spend every day of my life showing you how amazing you really are. You have no idea what you do to me. How much you make me feel. Please believe me...you’re perfect. You’re perfect...” Clarke almost had tears running down he own face but she busied herself with connecting her lips to Lexa’s again. Showing Lexa how much she meant to her. Making her feel it all in her kiss. And Clarke would keep kissing Lexa for as long as it took for her to realise that Clarke wholeheartedly meant every word she said.


	10. Chapter ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa’s POV - finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! A very busy past week for me. Hope you enjoy it. Things are finally starting to get heated over the next few chapters...

Almost two years ago..

 

“Lexa...it’s alright. Whatever it is I’m here for you. Just come on out and we’ll talk.” Costia called from the outside of the bathroom door. 

Lexa is staring at her face in the mirror. It’s like she has come to barely recognise herself. Her eyes puffy from straining to hold back tears. The doubt and anxiety gradually increasing over the past couple of months. She knew she had to talk to Costia, she knew it couldn’t go on any longer. It was only ever a matter of time before Costia’s patience would fade. 

Ten months prior Lexa really felt her dreams come true and she gave her heart away for the first time. Little shy smiles exchanged as she worked behind the coffee machine at her part time job soon turned into innocent flirting, to trading numbers, and to Lexa experiencing dating for the first time. She couldn’t believe it. This gorgeous, confident woman was giving Lexa all her attention. Lexa had felt butterflies for girls before but Costia flipped her entire stomach with just one look. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought that someone so incredibly self assured and beautiful would pay her any attention. It just didn’t happen. Lexa blended in with the background. She liked it like that. The less eyes on her the more she felt she could move through life unscathed. After all, it’s what allowed her to get through high school. 

So when sweet gestures turned slowly into romantic dates, Lexa fell hard and fast. She never expected that she needed anything more in her life. It was all going pretty great. She had been accepted into university after acing her VCE with the highest enter score for her school, she had a part time job that allowed her to support herself living close to university, she had even lined up some work experience with her Uncle Gus at his law firm. But once a pretty hazel eyed brunette girl stole her first kiss she discovered a whole new world she found herself wanting to experience. 

Things started pretty slow between Lexa and Costia. It took Lexa three dates to work up the courage to make out with the girl. Costia was patient, kind, and understanding. She constantly reminded Lexa that they could take things at her pace. Lexa was the happiest she had ever been. Even Anya teased her relentlessly about being completely and utterly smitten. It didn’t take much longer for that for her to admit her feelings of love for Costia. To have her return the feelings. Lexa had someone in love with her. She had someone care for her like no one had before. She had the affection of the most gorgeous girl she’d ever seen. 

Lexa finally felt as though she had found someone who would understand her. Accept her. And when this particular night came around she found herself wanting to go further with her girlfriend. She wanted to express her affections with more than just short make out sessions on the couch, sweet candle lit dinners, beach walks, cuddling while watching movies.....Lexa felt it was time for more. She asked Costia to come over so she could be honest and open up to her. They were sitting on Lexa’s bed hand in hand and Lexa was trying to find the words to explain to her girlfriend her most vulnerable and personal secret. Costia was the most understanding person, Lexa had nothing to worry about...right?

Her hands started shaking, her throat tightened, it was like oxygen couldn’t make it to her brain properly. She felt dizzy and a rush of heat. Her girlfriend was staring expectingly at her waiting for her to form words and explain what was going on. But Lexa could only feel panic. What if she was about to ruin months of happiness? What if she was going to lose the girl that owned her heart? Lexa felt her palms become sweaty. Her breathing became short. Lexa was going to throw up. 

Lexa ran to her ensuite and locked the door behind her. Hands clasping the bathroom counter. One...two...three....she counted in her head and slowed her breathing down. She focused on her green towel handing up, the feeling of the cold basin under her grip, the honey and vanilla smell from her candle placed at the end of the bath. Finally she could look at her reflection and feel some control over her body again. She splashed some water over her face in attempt to cool down a bit. She could hear Costia from outside the door asking her to come out and talk to her. Lexa took a deep breath...it was now or never. 

Lexa slowly opened the door to find kind hazel eyes and a sympathetic smile on her girlfriends face. They walked back together in silence to sit back on the bed. A minute or so passed but Costia still sat patiently, rubbing smooth circles over Lexa’s hands, waiting for her to speak. 

“I have to tell you something, Cos.” Lexa barely whispered. “Something that I have kept from you.” 

Costia nodded while keeping eye contact with Lexa. Eyes that now showed a confused look but still continued to comfort Lexa. 

“I’m worried it’s going to change things between us. It’s something only my family knows. I...I want to tell you because I trust you. I love you Cos.” Lexa said a little louder this time. 

“You can tell me anything, Lex. I love you too.” Costia encouraged. 

“I’m intersex..” Lexa said letting her eyes fall to the floor. She’s not sure she could handle her girlfriends reaction yet. 

Silence filed the room. Lexa takes a deep breath and forces herself to look up to see Costia’s face. She sees a look of utter shock. Her mouth wide open. 

“You’re kidding..?” Costia finally said. And her appearance is one Lexa has never seen. 

Lexa just shook her head. There was no going back now. “I was born with male genitalia.” 

“You’re fucking kidding me?!” Costia repeated but now her tone had completely changed. Her expression was completely unrecognisable now. Lexa could feel a sharp stab to her heart that decided to beat faster and faster as time passed. This wasn’t going well...

“You mean this whole time I have been dating, touching, KISSING, some half girl half boy freak?!” Costia now was yelling and moving away from Lexa. “What the fuck?!”

Lexa was choking again. She could barely swallow her throat felt so constricted. She couldn’t form a response. She had never seen her girlfriend like this. She just watched Costia move about her room. Tears welling up in her eyes. And it wasn’t long before they were streaming down her cheeks. She should have known. All her life no one outside of her Mum and Anya accepted her. She felt like a fool to think someone could love her for her true self. She really thought Costia was different. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me this from the start? You know being gay means I actually want to be with females right? What did you think would happen Lexa?!” Costia was shouting from rage and all that etched into Lexa’s mind was the disgusted look Costia had on her face. 

“I’m sorry...” Lexa whispered through tears. “I wanted to tell you I did. But it wasn’t easy for me.” 

“I can’t do this.” Costia said and she wasn’t even trying to make eye contact with Lexa anymore. “Fuck. I’m such a fucking idiot.” And with that Costia left with more profanities leaving her mouth on the way out. 

Lexa brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face. She cried all night until exhaustion allowed her a small amount of sleep. Lexa felt her heart break and never had she felt so low. 

 

——————————

 

 

Clarke’s lips were so soft, so tender, so honest. Lexa opened her eyes to find her heart beating louder than thunder. She’s pretty sure Clarke could feel it. Clarke was in her arms holding her. Clarke who just stood up to Costia and picked Lexa’s side. Clarke who for the first time in eighteen months made Lexa feel important, cared for, normal...did she really just call her perfect?

Lexa froze. She couldn’t do this again. She stared into those ocean blue eyes smiling back at her and started feeling the calm wash over her. In the past she had to gather all her strength and focus on touch, sight and smell to reduce her anxiety. Now...all she had to do was find those mesmerising eyes. Those eyes could calm her internal hurricane of thoughts. No one had that effect on her. Ever. 

Lexa stood there with Clarke, the girl that always offered her gorgeous caring smile, and decided that it was only fair to be honest with her. She wouldn’t make the same mistake again. She would tell Clarke and end it before strong feelings were involved. Ok well maybe that was a little late for that. Again. But Lexa had to try. 

“Clarke...can we go home?” Lexa finally found words to say. It’s not like she wanted to stop kissing Clarke while the song One Kiss by Dua Lipa was playing but she felt a huge amount of guilt wash over her after seeing her ex and how things ended for them. Clarke deserved better. Clarke deserved to know. 

“Of course. Is everything ok, Lex?” Clarke asked now with her concerned brows.

“We need to talk...” Lexa offered and moved to head upstairs to the apartment. 

 

Inside there apartment, Lexa was glad to find Octavia wasn’t home and gestured Clarke to sit down on the couch with her. 

“Lex if this is about me interrupting your conversation with your ex I apologise but...” Clarke started before Lexa cut her off. 

“No...I really appreciate the save back there. She was bringing up the past and trying to hurt me with it and it made me realise that I need to share something about myself with you.” Lexa spoke feeling her nerves creep up again. She clasped her hands together to try to stop them shaking. She looked down to the floor. Black shoes....red floor rug...blood orange candle scent...

“It’s okay...you can tell me anything. I’m here Lex” Clarke offered genuinely. 

Oh no. She had heard those words before. Lexa tried to suppress the flash backs of that day. The day she knew her different body parts would always bring her embarrassment, hurt and shame. She promised herself to never allow herself to develop feelings for someone again. She thought she succeeded in pushing everyone away. If she did then she wouldn’t get hurt again. She wouldn’t have to witness the look of disgust on someone’s face again. 

“You might change your mind after this.” There goes Lexa’s mind racing again. And Clarke is the reason. It’s not what she has to say that is the hard part this time. This time is because she doesn’t want to lose Clarke. She doesn’t want to stop having those perfect blue eyes looking at her with such understanding. But it’s hopeless now. 

Clarke just shakes her head and reaches her hand out to hold Lexa’s hand. She must have seen her trembling. She’s going to make this even harder for Lexa to give it up. The last time Lexa said this to someone she cared about she lost a part of herself. She forgot how to feel for a long time. Lexa felt like a bird without wings to fly. Clarke makes her feel everything again. Stronger and louder than before. Lexa was breaking just for the chance to let Clarke in. 

“Clarke....I was born differently. I was born intersex.” Lexa did it she actually told Clarke. There was a moment of silence. It could have been a minute long or an hour. Lexa played out this moment in her head many times before and each time she was certain she’d have Clarke walk out on her. 

She didn’t even realise that a tear had escaped down her face until Clarke’s hand was gently wiping it away. But her hand stayed on her cheek. Lightly lifting her head up to meet her eyes. And those damn blue eyes...slowing the racing hurricanes again. Lexa felt her heart hanging in the air. 

“Thank you for telling me.” Clarke said kindly. 

Wait what? There was no yelling. Clarke held her understanding expression. She wasn’t questioning her. She thanked her?

Clarke removed her hand from Lexa’s face and wrapped her arms around Lexa and hugged her tight. Lexa felt her eyes burn with tears and she couldn’t hold them back from pouring out now. Clarke’s embrace felt so warm. Lexa breathed in Clarke’s sweet scent and calmed her crying while pulling away from the hug. 

“You.....you’re not angry?” She couldn’t help but ask. 

“Angry? Why would I be angry?” Clarke replied now with a confused look. 

“The last time I said that to someone the reaction was very different.” Lexa said and diverted her eyes back to her hands in her lap. 

“I have no right to be angry, Lexa. And to be perfectly honest I’m not even really surprised...” Clarke admitted with a little hesitation. 

Lexa’s eyes went wide. “You’re not? Did you know?” Lexa asked with a slight panicked tone. 

Clarke let out a little shy giggle. “No...I didn’t know. For certain. But I may have had the thought cross my mind once or twice.” Lexa saw a smile grow on the blondes face. “I mean Lex, I sorta figured it out. We were dancing really close...you won’t swim in Bell’s pool...I mean it wasn’t my place to ask so I hoped you would feel comfortable to tell me.” Clarke said honestly and rested her hand on Lexa’s hand again. 

Lexa took a deep breath and felt a weight shift off her shoulders. “I was so scared. I thought that you would see me so differently. I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”

“Oh Lex....my feelings for you have not changed at all. I told you that you could trust me.” Lexa noticed Clarke paused and bit her lip as if she was trying to find the right words. Lexa felt kind eyes looking into hers. “You need to believe me when I tell you that you’re beautiful. You’re perfect.” Clarke said just above a whisper. There’s that word again. Lexa could see Clarke’s eyes become glassy. “If people in the past have treated you unkind because of this then fuck them. They don’t deserve knowing you. But I know you Lex, and the person that you are is worthy of feeling good enough.” 

Lexa was struggling to believe that this was real. She couldn’t hold it back now. Her breath hitched and she let out a quiet sob. She felt so overwhelmed and now her feelings were crashing into salty tears crumbling down her face. Her once strong solid walls had now collapsed. She felt exposed and instead of feeling judged she felt warm tender arms wrap around her again. Lexa buried her face into Clarke’s neck and she felt Clarke rub soothing circles on her back. And it was then in that moment Lexa’s heart felt like Clarke could be the one to fix it. 

 

————————————

 

It’s been a week since Lexa’s confession to Clarke and she swears that there’s at least a thousand butterflies permanently taken home in her stomach. Because every time she catches a glimpse of blonde hair and a sweet smile looking at her she feels like a silly hormonal teenager again. She can’t even hide her own smile. They haven’t had much time alone in the last week. Lexa has been working every day and any free time is used with university preparation. Clarke has been going out every day painting or sketching as much as she can. But between passing each other they share shy smiles and small talk. Lexa knows Clarke is just giving her space to feel comfortable around her again. Lexa appreciates how understanding Clarke has been but she’s also becoming impatient now. She wants to move things forward again. She can’t help but want more with Clarke. 

 

It’s Saturday afternoon and Lexa has the night off work. She’s in the kitchen making a smoothie when she hears the front door open and close. Clarke walks in headphones in her ears, light layer of sweat covering her soft toned skin, and wearing a very sexy matching sports bra and leggings. Lexa cant help but let her eyes roam over the blondes body. When she meets her eyes she blushes from getting caught. Clarke just smiles in return and walks to get a bottle of water from the fridge. She stands there gulping down the water like she hasn’t had water for a month. Lexa is mesmerised and cant help staring at the blondes exposed neck drinking and sweat trailing down into the space next to her collarbone. Lexa has the urge to lick it. 

Clarke finishes drinking and smirks at Lexa. Her cheeks redden again because she just got caught twice in the space of a minute. If Lexa thought she had any self control she may as well have tried convincing herself that she spoke French. Who needs words of any language when all she wants is to kiss her, really? And if Lexa was going to get caught she may as well follow her thoughts up with actions. 

Lexa smiles brightly as she leans in and captures the blonde’s lips, the kiss starts slow, both girls taking their time, enjoying the feel of each other’s lips. Lexa relaxes into Clarke remembering how sweet she tastes. Lexa feels Clarke’s tongue flick out to slide across her top lip, Lexa opens her mouth immediately and let’s out a moan as Clarke gently slides her tongue in. Lexa’s hand comes up to Clarke’s toned stomach and gently pushes Clarke a few steps back until the blonde’s lower back hits the kitchen counter. Clarke moans when Lexa pushes her body against hers, at the same time the brunette pushes her tongue further past Clarke’s lips, thoroughly exploring the blonde’s mouth. The kiss is new. They have kissed like this before but Lexa is now kissing with confidence. She knows what she wants and if Clarke is kissing her back she’s sure they both want the same thing. 

 

Lexa changes angles to deepen the kiss as they continue to explore each other this way. A small low moan escapes Clarke’s mouth as she opens it and Lexa thinks she might just lose herself in this new found ecstasy. 

Lexa has one hand on Clarke’s hip and slides her other hand around Clarke’s cheek as she moves her lips trailing down her neck. She explores Clarke’s warm salty neck with her tongue, the brunette knows she needs to cool things down, she can feel movement in her pants and she doesn’t want to have to hide a hard on from their first proper heated make out session. 

Lexa withdraws her tongue from the blonde’s neck and slowly kisses her lips again in attempt to slow things down. She thinks she might lose it again when Clarke gently nips her bottom lip, but she somehow maintains her composure and pulls away from the kiss. Lexa rest her forehead against the blondes and the girls take a moment to catch their breath.  
“You have no idea what you do to me.” Lexa breathes.

“I think I have some idea...” Clarke smirks and let’s her eyes fall down between them. 

Okay Lexa didn’t cool things down soon enough and knows she’s showing a slight bulge in her pants. To be honest she knows all hope was lost the moment the blonde walked into the room looking sexy and sweaty. 

“I’m sorry...” Lexa says but only half meaning it. Because really she knows that no one has made her feel this way before. 

Lexa could feel Clarke leaning in to whisper in her ear. “Don’t be sorry Lex....you may not be able to see my arousal but you most definitely have the same effect on me.” And as Clarke slowly moves back she winks at Lexa. She actually fucking winks. “And now I need a cold shower.” Clarke giggled and peels away to walk to the bathroom with extra sway of her hips. Yep...Lexa has lost her fucking mind now...


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to get this up. I promise the next chapter will be clexa finally taking things further. I just felt I had to have a bit more character development first. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy. Already working on the next one so won’t be too long a wait.

The four girls get out of the taxi when it pulls up to the Blake residence.  
“You bitches ready for this?” Raven cheers as she walks down the pathway with her girlfriends arm around her heading for the the front door. Trailing a few steps behind, Lexa and Clarke share a look as Clarke reaches out and takes Lexa’s hand. Offering an affectionate smile and a gentle squeeze of encouragement. She knows the shy girl still finds rowdy crowds daunting. Their hands drift apart slowly and Clarke notices Anya turning her head over her shoulder to see the gesture.   
As the girls enter the house the party is already in full swing, the music is obscenely loud. There are bodies gathered everywhere, hands filled with drinks, couples locking lips, boys chugging beer, girls dancing near a dj set up. It definitely reminds Clarke of the parties thrown years ago when the group first started university. She knows it’s one of the biggest parties thrown in a while. All for Bellamy’s birthday. 

After minutes inside the air is already becoming suffocating and Clarke reads the look on Lexa’s face. Reaching fresh air outside, it’s already easier to move through the crowd and they come to the usual beer pong set up with a bunch of people, including jasper and Monty.  
“Oh, beer pong!” Raven cheers. “You guys know where to find me for the night.” She winks before bouncing off towards the boys. 

“I’ll get the drinks.” Anya says rolling her eyes and walking off towards the outdoor fridges. 

Lexa is focused on scanning the crowd and nearby area something Clarke has noticed she does to become more familiar with new people and her surroundings. A nervous trait she does to settle into new environments. Clarke pulls her out of her own thoughts with gently running her hand over her forearm. Clarke knows Lexa is getting better and slowly more confident.   
“Lex? You ok out here?” Clarke checks on her anyway. 

“Yeah” she replies quickly trying to hide her nerves and looks to find calming blue eyes. “I’m ok with you here.” 

“Great. Well I’m not going anywhere ok?” Clarke reassures her and earns a small smile from the brunette. The first one since they left the apartment via taxi to pick up Raven and Anya on the way to the party. 

“They have beer, beer or beer.....can’t half tell this is a boys party.” Anya huffs as she hands Clarke and Lexa two beers before turning to spot Raven’s whereabouts. 

“Pretty sure she’s already three dares down to Jasper by now.” Clarke says while cringing and pointing to Raven who looks like she’s attempting to eat a few raw chillies. 

“Think she might want this drink pretty soon.” Anya heads off in the direction of her girlfriend. 

Clarke laughs shaking her head. It doesn’t surprise her one bit that her best friend is having fun and living in the moment. She was definitely always a wild child. 

An awkward silence fills the space between Clarke and Lexa. Lexa’s eyes are on her drink and she’s fiddling with the label. Lexa’s not herself tonight and Clarke isn’t sure why. Everything has been going really good. They share sweet smiles with each other and small talk when in passing. Clarke’s even notice Lexa’s eyes on her more than ever. And if their make out session yesterday morning in the kitchen was any indicator, things were moving along perfect. Their kiss had become very heated and Clarke had to pull away and head for a shower to cool off. She wants to move forward with Lexa but also respectfully taking things at a slow pace. They’ll get there in time. Clarke can handle slow, she can even handle stop signs. But this tonight, this was a step backwards. 

“You ok? I’m sorry I keep asking. I’m really not trying to bug you, but you just seem quiet tonight.”

Lexa briefly looks up at Clarke then returns her eyes downward to her drink again. “Um...is it okay if we talk?” 

“Of course.” Clarke says without hesitation. “Why don’t we go sit on the bench next to the garden it looks a little more private over there?” 

The two make their way to the back end of the yard where a bench seat is situated in front of gorgeous rose bushes. Once they sit Clarke remains quiet giving Lexa the time to take before she says what’s on her mind. Her fingers start fidgeting and picking at the label of her drink again. Clarke steadies her hands by taking her right into her left and resting them on her lap. This seems to settle Lexa somewhat enough to start talking. 

“I just...I’m not really sure....I’m trying to figure out what is going on....between....us.” She stumbles out. Keeping her eyes on her hand that is resting in Clarke’s lap. 

“Oh Lex...” Clarke’s wearing a huge smile on her face now waiting for Lexa to make eye contact. When she does she can’t help but place a soft gentle kiss on Lexa’s lips. “It’s hard to resist kissing you when you’re this adorably cute.” 

This triggers a shy smile from the brunette. “It’s really nice when you kiss me. I guess I’m just unsure what it is you are looking for. What are we doing Clarke? What does this mean?” Lexa gets out just above a whisper. She can’t help it. Pretty girls have this effect on her. She knows what she wants to say but the words struggle to come out. Lexa’s hoping she’s not making a fool of herself. 

“Well....I really like you. And I really like kissing you. I’m kind of hoping you’ll let me take you out on a nice date, have a nice dinner, and maybe we could share some nice kisses too.” It’s Clarke’s turn to be shy with a little blush, tracing patterns on the back of Lexa’s hand with her free fingers. 

“You....you want to take me on a date?” Lexa can’t help the tone of surprise coming out with the question. 

Clarke giggles and moves closer to the brunette. “I don’t think I could be any more obvious, Lex.” And with that she closes the gap between them allowing their needy lips to meet again with gentle kisses. It’s like a magnet pulling together with a force strong enough to shift gravity. Clarke’s hand comes up to softly hold Lexa’s cheek as they explore each other’s lips again. 

 

The kiss is like Lexa is coming up for air. It’s like coming up for air and everything else before this moment was pale in comparison. It’s sweet and enrapturing. It’s all Lexa wants to have so close to her. For the first time she doesn’t even care there are people around. She doesn’t even care if people stare. Nothing could burst her little closed Clarke filled bubble because she gets to go on a date with this breathtaking girl. A proper dinner date. Clarke wants to date her. Butterflies scramble back into her upper abdomen almost making her lips tremble against the blondes. She feels Clarke’s teeth lightly bite her lower lip and it’s then that she loses herself. She’s ready to become lost in Clarke’s arms because nothing could break this moment. 

“Lexa? Lexa Woods...?” 

Of course it was too good to be true to think they could disappear without anyone interrupting. The voice was unfamiliar but once Lexa opened her eyes and found who the voice belonged to, complete fear rushed over her body. 

“It’s me, Ontari. Ontari Queen.” 

Lexa’s eyes widen in shock. Her heart is racing and it’s not Clarke’s doing. This time it’s because her body is getting into flight mode. Her breathing picks up, her hands are starting to sweat, the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, and she can feel her face burning. She has to get away. She’s not ready to face her again. She never thought she would have to again. 

Lexa immediately tries to stand on unsteady legs, she can’t feel them as she runs inside the house. People are everywhere but she’s moving past them all heading to the bathroom. Luckily it’s unoccupied. As she closes the door behind her and leans against the sink, she feels like throwing up. Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply through her nose helps, but she knows the churning in her stomach won’t go away for a while. She hasn’t felt this dreadful feeling in years but it washes over her like a solid familiar weight crushing her. She turns on the tap, letting the cold water spike her nerves and be the only thing she feels. It tingles her fingers and sends a shiver down the back of her neck when she lets it run up her forearms and over her warm sweaty palms, and it’s better than acknowledging what is happening in her chest. 

It takes her a few moments to find the courage to look in the mirror. Her reflection tells her the story she doesn’t want to remember. A story of buried deep traumatic mental abuse. Her eyes are now bloodshot with unshed tears waiting to fall, but what catches her attention is the distress in them.  
It still hurts. 

“Lexa?” She heard Clarke knock from the other side of the door. The girl who had her heart feeling the complete opposite only moments before. How quickly it turned from happy excitement to absolute terror. 

Lexa opened the bathroom door allowing Clarke to sneak in ignoring the groans from others waiting to use the bathroom. 

“Hey....” Clarke says softly and Lexa knows Clarke has seen the condition of her eyes. 

She feels arms wrap around her and pull her in. It takes Lexa more than a moment to forget her racing heart rate and focus on the way Clarke’s hands are splayed on the small of her back and around her shoulder. She chooses to pull away slightly to focus on Clarke’s eyes instead and it immediately helps calm her down. Clarke’s blue eyes are the way to hold herself to the world and compose her unsettling thoughts.

“It’s okay Lex, I’m here. I’m here.” Clarke says and she feels Clarke rest her forehead against hers and her hand circle soothing across her back. 

Tears now finally escape down Lexa’s cheeks. She feels she can fall apart a little in the arms of someone who can hold her together. She feels Clarke wipe her tears away and then her lips kissing them away and it’s enough to let her head drop and bury into Clarke’s neck. Lexa lets out a little sob wrapping her arms tightly around the blonde. Breathing her in and calming herself down. Her breathing has settled now and she’s able to think clearly again. All the while, Clarke has yet to remove her arms from wrapping around her. She pulls away from Clarke, testing the strength in her legs, wiping her face to finally speak. 

“I’m sorry I just ran off like that...”

“No, please don’t be sorry. It certainly looks like you needed to get out of there.” Clarke said as she rubbed Lexa’s arm up and down in support. “How do you know Ontari Queen?” Clarke finished with a confused expression. 

“We went to the same high school. She was in my year level.” Lexa felt herself taking a deep breath. She owed Clarke an explanation. She just took off and she knew she couldn’t keep running away from things that affected her past. It was like reopening an old wound. It wouldn’t quite heal and still remained deep. So far Clarke has helped stitch her up. Perhaps it’s time to let her see one of her old scars. 

“She was the captain of the basketball team that I played on. Other than that I had nothing to do with her.” Lexa could see Clarke’s eyes narrow and nod waiting for her to continue. “During the middle of our final year she took our basketball games really seriously and increased our training sessions before and after school. When we trained after school I could easily go home in my basketball uniform to shower at home avoiding any questioning from my teammates. But....when we did 60 minute workout sessions in the morning I had to shower before classes started. One day I thought I was the only one left having a quick shower when Ontari thought it was a fun joke to take my school uniform while I was trying to quickly get dressed. Searching for my clothes in underwear and a tank top she came out from around the corner laughing with her friend thinking she played a great practical joke. That was until she saw that I was larger in a particular area. The fact that I panicked and covered myself drew even more attention to my differences. She freaked out immediately yelling and swearing at me. I grabbed my clothes and raced out of there and ran all the way home.” Lexa let out a deep sign. “I returned the next day and my life changed completely. Although, I expected the whole year level to at least know, she only kept it to the basketball team. But she found it satisfying to make my life hell. I endured her bullying remarks every day trying to just complete high school. And....I never stepped out on the basketball court again.” 

Clarke had a tear running down her cheek. “Oh Lexa.... Fuck....I’m seriously going to go punch her face in. I can’t believe someone would feel they have the right to hurt someone like that.” Clarke’s face turned from shock and upset to furious. 

“No please don’t.” Lexa said. “Letting her know she still upsets me is probably giving her satisfaction. That’s generally how bullies work.” 

“Okay.” Clarke said trying to settle her anger. “Do you want to get out of here?” 

Lexa nodded. “...but what about Bellamy’s party? We haven’t even seen him yet.” 

“Lexa, I care about you so much and I know you don’t want to be here. Plus I’m sure Bellamy is already drunk and enjoying himself.” Clarke entwines her hand in Lexa’s and gives her a gentle tug towards the bathroom door. “Come on, I know a place we can go to get things off our minds.”

As they walk back out to the backyard hand in hand they spot Anya trying to get Raven to drink some water. Anya gives Lexa one quick look and knows something is wrong straight away. 

“Anya, we’re leaving early. You guys okay to get home?” Clarke asks. 

“Yeah no worries.” Anya replies but hasn’t taken eyes off her sister. Lexa offers Anya a weak nod and it’s enough to silently communicate that she is okay and wants to leave with Clarke. 

 

Clarke leads Lexa out the front, still holding on to her hand like a lifeline, and has a taxi booked on her phone app by the time they reach the Blake’s letterbox. 

 

The taxi pulls up no more than 5 minutes later and the girls hop in. Clarke gives the taxi driver an address like she’s been there many times before but Lexa doesn’t recognise it. 

The drive is silent. Clarke’s hand still holds Lexa’s and comforts her with small patterns on the back of her palm. Lexa finds this one of her favourite things Clarke does. It feels so affectionate and caring. A feeling she barely knows. 

“We’re here.” Clarke says just above a whisper. Smiling at Lexa and guiding her out of the taxi. “It’s just a short walk around here.” She gestures ahead. 

They walk down a trail of stairs and Clarke takes her shoes off. 

“We’re at the beach?” Lexa asks but knows her answer as she heard the waves crashing the moment she stepped out of the car. 

“Yeah...but not just any beach. This beach is specifically named ‘Great Woods Cape’.” And Clarke offers her a huge grin before leading her to the start of the sand. 

Lexa cant stop the smile forming on her face and kicks off her own shoes to feel the cool sand between her toes. She catches up to Clarke who has settled down on the sand looking out towards the waves chasing the tide. As she sits down she instantly feels better than before at the party. It’s a beautiful clear night and from this spot they have the best view of the stars. The sound of the ocean is soothing and calming. The air is clear and cleansing. And the girl next to her is changing her. She’s fixing her. 

“This is where I used to come all the time after I lost my dad.” Clarke’s voice was sad. “I would find myself with too many restricting thoughts. And this was the only place I found solace. I have dozens of paintings of this place at all different times of the day.”

“I’d love to see them.” Lexa said gently. 

Clarke’s lips turned up in a smile. “I used to sit here and just replay memories over and over in my head. A lot of them in the beginning were moments of regret. Times I had fights with my dad, times I rebelled as a teenager, times I chose to attend stupid parties over family nights, times I thought growing up and not being daddy’s little princess anymore was the cooler thing to do. It made me angry and hurt myself more with only thinking this.” Clarke lent back on her hands tilting her head up to stare at the stars. “It wasn’t until I forgave myself for being a typical teenager and made the decision to only remember the good. To only keep the positive.” She paused looking at Lexa. “Once I shifted that weight off my shoulders I realised I could start living again. That only I can be responsible for how I feel.” 

Lexa felt her heart expand and tighten. How could Clarke’s words hit her so hard. How did she have such affect on her. Again. Maybe that’s all she had to do. Let go of all the bad. Cling on tightly to only the good. Focus on the positive. Lexa turned slightly towards Clarke and cupped her cheek. The moonlight made her eyes absolutely stunning. It all made perfect sense. Clarke had brought her here to this place, sharing her scars, allowing Lexa to take her piece of the picture and use it as needed. Her heart ached but for the first time in her life it felt free. It felt as though a heavy burden was lighter and less constricting. Her heart was fluttering for the girl in front of her. 

Lexa leant forward capturing Clarke’s soft inviting lips. And Lexa knew for the second time in her life, things were going to completely change.


	12. Chapter twelve

It’s dark but Lexa’s senses are heightened. She feels Clarke’s wrists in her hands pressed high against the wall. She feels her chest rise and fall and a heavy breath against her neck. Tastes her skin as she kisses along her pulse point. They’re topless and Lexa can’t help but want to touch all of Clarke all at once. She moves down to the blondes chest trailing kisses and gets to tease her with her tongue while gently sucking a nipple into her mouth. The moan released from Clarke’s mouth is almost enough for Lexa to come undone right then, but she manages to somehow hang on. It’s hot and heated and so fucking sexy Lexa can’t believe she’s finally doing this with Clarke. Hands roaming over smooth bare skin. And somehow they have made it to the bed. Naked. Lexa can feel how hard she is. She knows they are suddenly moving fast but she can’t bring herself to slow down. It’s almost a blur but she fights to keep her senses aware and stay in control.

“Lexa....please...” Clarke practically begs. 

Lexa moves to position herself at Clarke’s entrance ready to give her what she’s asking for. This is it. She’s just about to..

Pulled out breathing heavy gasping for air, Lexa frantically sits up and clings to the soft white sheets as her eyes adjust to her surroundings. Her alarm blaring from her bedside table. Fuck....it’s six in the morning and she has a morning gym session planned with Anya. Her eyes drop down to her lap...yep another sex dream about Clarke. This makes 4 nights in a row. The pressure against her sleep shorts is uncomfortable and she knows she’s going to have to deal with this now. She lays back down and tries to picture herself back in her dream again. 

———————

 

“So when is your date with Clarke?” Anya asks as they both dance around on the floor mat avoiding each other’s martial art moves. 

“Tonight.” Lexa says dismissively throwing a punch Anya’s way who easily dodges it. 

“It’s distracting you.” Anya smirks. 

“Is not.” Lexa blocks Anya’s kick and has to take a step back fumbling before hands resume the typical defensive stance. 

“See what I mean?” Anya laughs. “You’re a sloppy mess, Lex.” 

Lexa groans loudly and stops sparring to stand up straight. “I have so many things buzzing around my head right now. What do I wear? What if I make a fool of myself? What if Clarke never wants to go on a date again?” She lets out an exhausted breath. 

“Ok woah there Bambi in headlights! Firstly, I will come help you pick out something to wear because I know what you are like and if I don’t you’ll end up being an hour late with nothing on. Secondly, Clarke already knows you. You know her. There will be more dates trust me. Ray and I have been unfortunate enough to witnessed the heart eyes you both constantly share with each other. It’s ridiculous, Lex.”

“There’s no heart eyes.” Lexa tries. 

“Before you try to deny it tell it to your face.” Anya gives her this grin that she knows she’s right. “And you will get more than just another date. Octavia is away with Lincoln for the rest of the week so you two have the house to yourselves so you can...”

“Anya!” Lexa exclaims. “It’s our first date we aren’t going to...”

“Lexa please. It might be your official first date but we all know you two have had something going on for months! The sexual tension between you two is exhausting.” Anya moves towards the bench tossing a water bottle at Lexa and opening one for herself. “Trust me. Your world is about to change forever.” Anya finishes with a slight flare for dramatics. 

Her sisters words played over in her head as she made her way home and then showered. Being nervous for a date with the prettiest girl in the world was one thing. The thought of her now anticipating that she could lose her virginity to her is a whole other ocean of anxiety. 

 

——————

 

“Definitely wear the green slim fit button down shirt with your tight black jeans. Your black converses too.” Anya placed the clothes on Lexa’s bed matching her outfit for her. 

“Okay” Lexa agreed while biting her lower lip due to the kaleidoscope of butterflies taken up residence in her stomach. 

“It’s not the first time you’ve dated, Lex.” Anya says but it’s more of a question as to why Lexa is so nervous about the night ahead. 

“I know but this time is different. Clarke’s...different.” A small smile crossing Lexa’s face. “It’s the first time I’m going on a date with someone who knows me, the real me. Clarke is amazing and I don’t want to fuck it up.” 

“Stop worrying. Clarke really likes you and even though I’m yet to give her my ‘hurt my baby sister and I’ll kill you’ speech, I think she’s great for you.” Anya says smiling and giving Lexa’s shoulder a slight nudge. “I’m happy for you, Lex.” 

“Thanks An.” Lexa says returning a bright smile. She knows her sister doesn’t warm to people very easily and considering she never approved of Costia, even before how badly she ended things, liking Clarke this early was a really good sign. 

“Now...do you have clean sheets on the bed?” Anya smirks at her sister and laughs.

“Anya!!” She does. She made sure she cleaned every inch of her room. Just in case. 

 

—————————

 

Lexa fiddles with the sleeves of her shirt that are rolled up her forearms. Anya left 15 minutes ago and she’s waiting by the kitchen counter for Clarke to come out of her room. She’s nervous and excited rolled into one. She hears the turning of Clarke’s bedroom door opening and her eyes glance up to cross the room. Her breath catches in her throat and her mouth goes dry. Never before has she ever seen a more perfect person walking towards her. Never before has she felt the constricting sensation of her heart thinking for her. It’s right then in that moment her nerves dwindle away, a bright smile on her face, and she knows, she understands....she loves Clarke. 

“Hi..” Clarke says sweetly as she approaches the brunette. 

“Hi..” Lexa mimics softly back unable to hide her staring eyes. Unable to look away. Clarke looks absolutely breathtaking in her navy blue laced dress matched with heels. Her blonde hair is curled softly around her face and red lipstick makes Lexa forget she’s holding her breath. “You look stunning Clarke.” She manages to get out. 

“Thank you. You look pretty amazing yourself.” Clarke replies with a wink. “Are you ready to go? I’ve ordered a taxi to pick us up downstairs.”

Lexa nods still unable to wipe the shy smile from her lips and opens the door for them to exit the apartment. 

The taxi ride is quiet and a little awkward. Clarke hasn’t told Lexa where she’s taking her for their date yet. And Lexa is feeling a little apprehensive about it. She knows once they get there she will be able to settle those feelings down. There’s another feeling pulling at her chest that is new to her and it’s making her a little giddy. It’s from being in close proximity to Clarke and she only wants to allow the gravitational force to pull her even closer, deeper into this feeling. She’s becoming completely captivated by it and Lexa doesn’t even care if it takes over her. 

“We’re here.” Clarke says luring her out of her thoughts and back inside the taxi. Clarke must have noticed as she runs a hand into Lexa’s palm to gently squeeze her hand and reassure that everything is ok. 

“Floukru?” Lexa asks as the both exit the car. “I’ve always wanted to come here.” 

“Me too.” The girls smile at each other and make their way into the restaurant. 

Floukru is a famous upmarket restaurant in the heart of Melbourne specialising in locally caught seafood. The restaurant is a perfect atmosphere for romantic dinners, the whole place is lit only by candles, and as the two girls slide into a booth reserved for them Lexa realises she’s in for a whole new experience to eating food. 

“Hello and welcome to Floukru. My name is Sienna and I will be looking after you this evening. May I start you off with our recommended starting wine. The menu is set and is brought out as 6 individual courses. We will match each course with a glass of wine carefully selected from Floukru’s owner Luna. We hope you have a wonderful experience here with us.” The waiter pours their drinks and departs leaving them to drink some wine before their first course arrives. 

“Wow. This is amazing.” Clarke says looking around. “See those paintings hanging around the room?”

Lexa looks up and nods.

“They were painted by extraordinaire Luna herself.” Clarke says looking awestruck. “I mean being one of the highest achieving artist in the country AND owner and award winning chef of a place like this is really out of this world.”

“It’s very impressive.” Lexa agrees but still finds herself staring at Clarke as she observes the art on display. It reminds her of the night they spent at the gallery. Watching Clarke in this moment is truly captivating in itself. 

“What?” Clarke asks wearing a grin as she caught Lexa staring at her. 

“I was just thinking of how lucky I am to be here with you right now.” Lexa says this time with not a hint of any nerves escaping. Clarke’s blue eyes locking with hers as they both share glowing smiles. 

————————

 

“This sparkling Shiraz is the best wine I have had in my life!” Clarke exclaims. And Lexa lets out a little giggle as all the wine has made her feel pleasantly relaxed. 

They have finished their 6 courses and have been blown away with the amazing food. They have allowed conversation to flow smoothly and both Lexa and Clarke feeling more comfortable than ever while enjoying each other’s company. 

Before long, they are back in a taxi driving home feeling extremely satisfied after a fantastic date. 

“Thank you Clarke. For this. Tonight was perfect.” Lexa tells Clarke and leans over the the backseat of the car to kiss Clarke’s cheek. 

Lexa sees the blondes cheeks turn a little red and before she’s able to lean back into her seat she feels Clarke’s lips collide with hers. Lexa immediately returns her kiss and it turns heated really quick. It’s soft but needy, fast but delicate. And when she feels Clarke’s tongue run along her top lip she breathes her in as their tongues meet. Lexa feels Clarke’s hand slide behind her neck and pulls her in closer. Lexa moves her hands to Clarke’s waist completely under her kissing spell. For a moment they forget where they are. Too caught up in the moment of raptured mouths. 

Lexa starts to slow things down. She doesn’t want to keep giving the taxi driver a free show and she’s sure he’s heard the quiet moans escaping their lips. Lexa slightly pulls away resting her forehead on Clarke’s. Both breathing heavy as if they had forgotten to breathe the whole time. 

“Sorry I sort of got carried away. I’ve been thinking about doing that all night.” Clarke admits while her hand cups Lexa’s face and her thumb lightly brushes over her cheek. 

“Me too.” Lexa replies leaning into Clarke’s touch. 

The taxi driver clears his throat to pull the girls back to reality. The taxi is at a stop outside their apartment. Neither of them even noticed the car stopping who knows how long they were wrapped up in each other. Lexa quickly pays for the taxi as Clarke had paid for dinner and refused to let Lexa pay as she claimed it was Clarke who was taking her out on the date. 

They walk hand in hand up the stairs into their apartment. Once inside Lexa suddenly feels nervous again. Their date was amazing and Lexa doesn’t want to show her nerves right now but they are alone again. Her heart picks up speed and her body pumps blood around faster than normal causing her palms to get a little sweaty. 

They get inside their apartment and neither of them have said a word. Tension is building and Lexa doesn’t know what to do. Clarke takes a step towards Lexa now standing in front of each other only inches apart. Lexa has never seen that colour blue. She feels Clarke leaning in slowly so she does the same. Their lips connect again but this time it’s gentle and calming. It’s new. Kissing like this is tender and it feels like both are saying more with every spark running through each kiss. Lexa’s hands come up to lightly squeeze Clarke’s hips. And Clarke’s hands tighten around Lexa’s neck. Lexa tilts her head slightly to deepen the kiss. Their mouths explore each other and their bodies respond to every touch. It’s more than they’ve ever shared but it’s still not enough. 

Clarke then starts trailing kisses down Lexa’s neck and sucks on her pulse point then Lexa feels Clarke’s teeth nip at her skin with lips soothing immediately with more tender kisses. It’s then she feels a twitch in her briefs but can’t find it in herself to stop this. 

Clarke takes Lexa’s bottom lip into her mouth and sucks on it. Grazing her teeth along it as she releases it from her mouth. Clarke grins when she hears Lexa let out a moan with her next breath. Lexa can’t explain the sensation flooding her body with every move Clarke makes. Feeling her body react, hearing her quiet desperate moans, she can feel how desperate Clarke is starting to get and it’s intoxicating. She knows she has an obvious bulge in the front of her pants but for the first time she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care because Clarke has caused it, because Clarke is kissing her like that. 

Clarke is smiling at Lexa with blue eyes now dark with desire. Lexa takes that as an invitation and brings her hand up to wrap around the back of Clarke’s neck before moving in to capture her soft lips again. Now taking the lead, Lexa isn’t shy at all, she slides her tongue along Clarke’s bottom lip and her hand grips tight on her lower back. When the blonde moans as their tongues meet Lexa starts pulling her towards her bedroom. The kiss is now messy and desperate but neither disconnect their lips when moving. Clarke’s roaming hands find their way to Lexa’s arse and another moan escapes her mouth when she feels Lexa’s hard dick pressed tight against her body.  
“Let’s go to my room.” Lexa husks out.

Clarke agrees by blindly reaching for Lexa’s bedroom door handle and stumbles to open it both half falling through the doorway. Both girls giggle at their clumsiness but Lexa returns to giving Clarke’s neck attention with her lips and tongue. Lexa can feel Clarke’s breathing becoming heavier and the blondes hands are now slowly moving up Lexa’s shirt resting on her stomach. 

“Mmm...I knew you’d have abs.” Clarke almost whispers out and it’s the first time Lexa hears her husky voice and it sends her mind wild. 

Lexa resumes kissing Clarke’s lips again with even more want than before, if that’s even possible. Before she registers what has happened Clarke has her shirt undone and hands underneath each side of the collar wanting to slide it off her shoulders. 

“Can I?” Clarke asks between kisses. 

Lexa can only nod as words fail to come out. Clarke places a few soft kisses down Lexa’s neck then slowly moves her lips further down. Lexa feels Clarke’s hand behind her at her bra strap before her eyes look up to find hers. Lexa nods her head then feels Clarke unclasp her bra slowly allowing it to fall to the floor. Clarke’s expert hands on her breasts are gentle and caring. Lexa feels her heart rate skyrocket again for the hundredth time tonight then her hips jerk involuntary as Clarke’s mouth is sucking on her hardened nipple. Lexa’s mind is racing and she’s finding it hard to focus but she reaches around to Clarke’s back and unzips her dress. Clarke allows her dress to fall to the floor and steps out of her heels at the same time. Lexa’s eyes go wide and her mouth drops open when she has Clarke standing in front of her in a very sexy black lace matching bra and g-string. Lexa unabashedly lets her eyes wonder over Clarke’s body. She wants to take all this in. Engrave it into her brain. It’s so much better than any dream she’s been able to create. 

Clarke steps forward and wraps her arms around Lexa again locking lips in a wet heated kiss. Lexa’s hands move over the blondes skin feeling electricity between them. She then moves them slowly towards the bed and Clarke sits down and slides across the bed laying down. Lexa pauses for a minute only to take in the picture of blonde hair spread on her pillow and the sexy toned body right in front of her. She wants to pinch herself to see if this is real. But her arms and legs are already giving in to that gravitational pull that is Clarke. Crawling up the bed she rests against Clarke’s body. Eyes search her face for any signs that might tell her she doesn’t want this but instead the blonde gives her the most beautiful smile she’s seen and it’s enough to make her press her lips to them again, hands resuming on exploring each other’s exposed skin. 

Lexa finds the clip of Clarke’s bra and unclasps it to remove it from her. Clarke’s breasts are absolutely phenomenal and Lexa can’t help but immediately showering them with kisses and sucking hard nipples into her mouth. She hears Clarke moan loud with this and smiles into the blondes chest. Lexa makes a mental note of all the things that have that reaction from Clarke. She wants to hear Clarke’s sexy husky voice as much as possible. 

When Lexa moves back up to capture Clarke’s lips again she can feel Clarke’s hands venture down between them. Clarke makes quick work of unzipping Lexa’s pants and Lexa then freezes. 

“We can stop if you want. We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” Clarke speaks so tenderly and Lexa can see how genuine her blue eyes look. 

“I want to. I just....I’ve never...” Words get stuck in Lexa’s throat. She doesn’t want her nerves to get in the way. She doesn’t want to be such a fucking idiot when she has this amazing girl underneath her in her bed. “I don’t want to disappoint you.” She whispers. 

“Oh baby, you could never do that. I’m here. I’m right here.” Clarke encourages. 

And the term of endearment was enough to get Lexa to wriggle out of her tight jeans. Clarke is smiling and looks down between them. Lexa knows she’s extremely hard and now with just her underwear on it’s on display. Clarke runs her hand down Lexa’s arm to find her hand and guide it to her chest. Lexa massages Clarke’s breast before Clarke pushes her hand down slowly across her stomach then down between Clarke’s legs. She helps guide Lexa’s fingers over her underwear to touch her sensitive area. Lexa gets the hint and lightly draws patterns and circles watching her face and breathing change. Clarke must be getting a little impatient as she lifts her hips and removes her underwear. 

Lexa looks down to find Clarke is more than ready for her. Her fingers automatically move to touch her now without underwear in the way. Lexa never could have imagined Clarke feeling this good. 

“Fuck...” Lexa whispers. “You’re so wet.” 

Clarke smiles. “All because of you.” 

Lexa runs her fingertips gently through Clarke and loves the little noises the blonde starts to make. She finds this a boost in confidence and moves her fingers to start circling her throbbing clit. Slowly at first, then starting to increase her pace. Clarke’s breathing is becoming heavy and her hips are moving in time to her strokes. Lexa is utterly mesmerised. 

“Lex...Lex I need you..” Clarke gets out and starts to move her hand to the front of Lexa’s briefs. Her fingers tug at the waistband hinting for the garment to come off. 

After a small pause, Lexa nods and slowly removes her last piece of clothing. Lexa can’t help but close her eyes. She doesn’t know if she can handle Clarke’s reaction right now. She feels Clarke’s hand cup her face and lips press softly against her lips. 

“You’re beautiful Lexa.” Clarke whispers. 

Lexa opens her eyes to find that the girl in her arms is absolutely perfect. She accepts her for who she is. Lexa doesn’t feel judged or embarrassed. She feels warm and cared for. For the first time she feels safe. 

They continue kissing for a minute and quickly it becomes heated once more. Tongues exploring each other’s mouths, hands moving all over, bodies press tight against one another. 

“Lexa...please..” Clarke begs again and Lexa swears she’s dreaming. Lexa can see Clarke’s naked body writhing under her. She can feel her temperature rising, the heat radiating from her skin. Lexa leans back to turn towards her bedside table to retrieve a condom. 

“Wait...it’s okay...I’m on the pill.” Clarke offers with a reassuring smile. 

“Are you sure, Clarke?” 

“Yes. I want to feel you. I want you to feel me.” Clarke breathes out. 

Lexa steadily moves back to lay next to Clarke. “Okay.” And she slides over to position herself between Clarke’s thighs. Lexa’s strong arms are holding herself over Clarke’s body and the blonde is looking up at her with pure desire in her eyes. Lexa’s right hand is trembling as she gently rests her hand on Clarke’s left hip and leans in to kiss her. 

“We can stop at anytime you want, okay?” Clarke tells her. 

Lexa nods and it’s in that moment she truly understands the powerful feeling in her chest. She wholeheartedly trusts Clarke more than anyone in her whole life. 

Lexa feels Clarke’s hand travel down slowly between them along Lexa’s skin and reaches her hard throbbing dick. Her other hand wraps around the back of Lexa’s neck and pulls her close. Clarke guides Lexa to her soaking entrance and waits for Lexa to move forward. Lexa doesn’t wait, can’t wait, any longer and pushes into Clarke. She slides in half way and watches Clarke’s face frown slightly and a breath escapes her open mouth. 

“Fuck...you’re really big.” Clarke exhales and sees Lexa’s face turn into concern. “It’s okay Lex...just go slow.”  
“Okay..” Lexa says and slowly pushes all the way into Clarke. Lexa loves how Clarke’s walls clench around her. She’s warm and wet and it feels like she is getting pulled in deep. Lexa stills her hips making sure Clarke is alright. She doesn’t have to wait long. 

“Okay, I need you to start moving babe.” Clarke instructs and Lexa does. She starts moving in and out finding a good rhythm that gets the blonde underneath her moaning louder and louder. Lexa can’t stop the noises escaping from her own lips. This is the best feeling she’s ever experienced. Then she gets an idea. She wants to make Clarke moan even more. So she drops her head down and starts sucking hard on one of Clarke’s stiff nipples. 

“Ahh...fuck Lexa....don’t stop.” Clarke cries. And it’s like Clarke as speaking straight to Lexa’s dick because she starts moving faster in and out of Clarke. Lexa can feel Clarke getting wetter as more juices flow out as Clarke jerks her hips and moans to match Lexa’s faster pace. Clarke grips harder and digs nails into the back of Lexa’s neck as they share messy kisses and heavy breaths. Lexa reaches down and begins stroking soft patterns over Clarke’s pulsating clit and her dick pushes in deep hitting the right spot for Clarke. 

Lexa starts kissing open mouth kisses down Clarke’s neck. She wants her mouth all over her. “You feel so good..” she says into her neck. 

“Ah fuck....Lexa...” Clarke is panting...writhing underneath her. Clenching around Lexa. “I’m gonna cum..” 

And she does. Her walls tighten around Lexa and a loud sexy moan sends Lexa over the edge breaking hard. And it’s pure bliss. Lexa slows her movements to help ride out each other’s orgasms. Lexa collapses against Clarke for a minute until she can gently pull out and move to her side. Their breaths and heartbeats easing out to a normal tempo. 

“Wow...” Lexa exhales as she’s spread out on her back. “I can’t believe it..” she continues as her hand drapes over her eyes hiding half her face and her grinning smile. 

“I know...that was fucking amazing..” Clarke says as she turns to cuddle into Lexa and lifts her hand off her face. “You don’t have to hide.” She teases. 

Lexa can’t help the huge smile on her face and letting out a shy giggle. “Sorry. I’m just....happy.” She bites her lower lip. “I’ve wanted this with you for a while now and I can’t believe it just happened.” She leans in to capture Clarke’s lips in a soft kiss. 

“Me too.” Clarke says affectionately and leans down to cuddle into Lexa and rest her head on Lexa’s chest. 

Their lungs sync with each other’s breathing evening out and their eyelids are becoming heavy. Lexa has never felt so relaxed with her arms wrapped around her girl...wait what exactly are they? They never really labeled what they were doing it always kind of just happened. Lexa’s a little unsure what might happen from here. But she’s definitely sure in something. She never wants this feeling to ever change. So she asks  
“Clarke?” With a kiss to the blondes forehead. 

“Mmm...” Clarke tiredly responds. 

“Will...will you be my girlfriend?” 

Clarke lifts her head up to find the most beautiful green eyes looking at her like she has hung the stars in the sky. 

“I’d love to.” She smiles back and closes the gap between them so their lips can connect once more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...they finally did it! Let me know what you think!  
> Remember this is my first fic ever so I’m hoping I’m doing an okay job. Thanks for all the support so far!


	13. Chapter thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I’m back! So sorry for taking so long life has been very hectic for me. I do have a plan for where this story is headed and I definitely plan on finishing it. So please stay with me! I hope to get the next chapter up in a few days.   
> May we meet again

Chapter thirteen 

Clarke rushes around the art supply store hurriedly filling her shopping trolley with all of her course required items. She almost drops an overly priced pastel acrylic paint set when Lexa manages to catch them before they hit the ground. Slowly putting them carefully in the trolley and placing a calming hand over Clarke’s hip. 

“Clarke, there’s no need to panic we will make sure we get everything you need.” Lexa says sweetly dropping a quick kiss to the blondes cheek.   
“Lex, the store shuts in 5 minutes! And if I don’t have everything before classes start tomorrow I’ll look like I’m not taking my masters seriously. I’ll look unprepared. Do you know how many students missed out on this course?” Clarke replies eyes continuously searching for the items she needs. Lexa can’t help but find her girlfriends expression adorable. “Plus, it’s completely your fault I’m rushing this last minute the day before university starts!” 

Lexa can’t help but giggle when Clarke pokes her stomach. “Oh really?” Lexa questions. 

“Yes. If you hadn’t kept me tangled up in your sheets for the past 4 days I would have had time to shop earlier.” Clarke responds and enjoys seeing the flush on Lexa’s cheeks. 

Everything had been going great. Since the night they became officially girlfriends, they couldn’t keep their hands or their mouths off each other. They completely blocked out the whole world just to stay wrapped up in each other for as long as possible before reality forced them to come back down from their high. Clarke awoke early that morning having a freak out when she realised days passed without really noticing. She was so caught up in Lexa’s web wanting to be as close to her as possible exploring every inch of each other’s bodies, that all those hours turned into days and the thought of stepping back into a classroom where her talent would be critically judged was daunting. She knew this year was going to make or break her. She couldn’t afford to not stay ahead of the game. 

“I just need to be prepared. I can’t fall behind before I even begin.” Clarke sighed with a slight defeated tone. 

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist pressing her front against Clarke’s back and nuzzling a kiss into Clarke’s neck. “Okay well I guess if I’m to blame give me half of your shopping list and I’ll help retrieve the items.” Lexa offers. 

“You’re the best.” Clarke turns and places a sweet kiss on Lexa’s lips and hands over a list of art supplies. 

—————

 

By all accounts there was a fair bit of swinging and swapping of teasing remarks going on later that night when Clarke and co gathered for dinner. Clarke, Raven, Octavia and their partners all got together the night before studying and busy schedules would overcome them for the next few months. 

“Can you two stop eye fucking each other and take your turns please?!” Raven bluntly asks knowing full well what kind of response she is triggering. 

“Oh fuck off Ray!” Clarke digs back at her best friend. They were all situated around the coffee table playing their third round of uno card game. Lexa has won both the previous rounds with Raven a close second each time and Clarke was failing miserably taking out last place each time. 

“Perhaps if you could focus on your cards instead of your girlfriend for a few seconds you might not lose again.” Raven protests. “Seriously, you two are ridiculous. Look at you! You can’t even keep it together for a full minute!” The rest at the table start to laugh while Lexa’s eyes look down shyly at the cards in her hands. “O isn’t even that bad and she’s normally the over-the-top one!” 

“Hey! I’m the top not over-the-top thank you very much!” Octavia announces tilting her nose in the air and this sends everyone into laughter. 

“Well I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship.” Anya teases and nudges her cousin Lincoln next to her. 

Clarke tries. She really does try from then on to focus on the card game and enjoying the last night where they get to be stress free for some time. They fall into casual conversations about each other’s lives and continue to tease each other throughout the night. 

 

It’s only when they are back inside Lexa’s bedroom at the end of the night that Clarke allows her lips to kiss down Lexa’s neck and hands to venture over her toned body the way her mind has been thinking of doing all day. 

“Mmm....babe Octavia and Lincoln are back now.” Lexa hums against lips. 

“And?” Clarke replies as she trails kisses and light bites along Lexa’s jawline back towards her neck. 

“And....they’ll probably hear us.....you.” Lexa says looking into Clarke’s eyes with a quirked eyebrow. 

Clarke gasps and lightly slaps Lexa’s arm. “I’m not that loud!” 

Lexa giggles and reaches up to cup Clarke’s cheek. “Yes you are.” 

“Well, we will just have to be quiet.” Clarke grins as her hands sneak up Lexa’s shirt to lightly run her nails over the toned abs sending a shiver over her body. And she knows there’s no denying those luring blue eyes when they are looking at her like that with hands teasing her like that. 

Lexa wraps her arms around and under Clarke’s thighs lifting her up easily against her so Clarke’s legs wrap around her waist. And Clarke lets out an unexpected excited squeal.   
“That’s not exactly quiet, Clarke.” Lexa smirks. “And if you can’t promise to be quiet I can’t take you to bed and help you release some stress before your big day tomorrow.” 

Clarke wraps her arms around Lexa’s neck pulling her in for a heated kiss. “Oh..” Kiss. “I’ll..” Kiss. “Definitely.” Kiss. “Try to be quiet.” As she slips her tongue into Lexa’s waiting mouth. 

They hit the bed and clothes come flying off landing scattered across the room. Lexa is enthralled with naked Clarke in her bed. When she has her spread out waiting for her. When she sees the effect she has on the blonde. When her hands touching, feeling, teasing. It didn’t take long for Lexa to become confident in the bedroom. Their first few days together allowed her to learn what the blonde liked. What made her moan. And how mesmerising it felt to watch her girlfriend come undone.   
“Where’d you go?” Clarke asks gently moving her hand up and down Lexa’s bicep. Lexa shook herself out of her thoughts. She didn’t realise she was frozen on top of Clarke staring over her body. 

“Just thinking about how beautifully perfect you are.” She tells Clarke while leaning in to capture her lips. The kiss starts slow and meaningful. Many of their make out sessions starting this way. It doesn’t take long for it to get heated again. Hands roaming, tongues meeting, breathing increasing. 

Lexa starts trailing kisses and teasing light bites down Clarke’s naked chest. Swirling her tongue around a hardened nipple while her hand massages and rolls her thumb over the other. She hears little breathy moans starting to escape the blondes mouth. She feels Clarke’s fingers tangle hair at the back of her neck. She takes this as the encouragement she needs and starts kissing further down Clarke’s body. Teeth nipping just above her hips and she feels Clarke’s hips jolt off the bed slightly followed with the spreading of her legs for Lexa to settle between. 

Clarke’s fingers are still playing with her hair as she trails kisses slowly up Clarke’s inner thigh. Taking her time to tease the blonde who is writhing under her. 

“Lex...” Clarke gets out.   
“Yes babe?” Lexa lifts her head with a smirking smile to lock eyes with blue.   
“Please...”  
“Please what?” Lexa continues to nip along her inner thigh knowing exactly what her girlfriend is asking for.   
Lexa hears another moan followed by tugging of her hair. She’s trying to pull Lexa to where she needs her. She can’t help but giggle into Clarke’s thigh.   
“Lexaaa...” this time Clarke is voicing her opinion on being teased.   
And just as the blonde rises up on elbows to look down at her between legs, waiting for those blue eyes to see her, Lexa finally slides her tongue with one long lick along her centre watching her face expression change to pleasure. 

Barely holding back a loud moan Clarke falls back down and tangled her hand into Lexa’s hair again. Lexa’s tongue has quickly become an expert in all things Clarke and moves slowly through her tracing small licks over her sensitive clit. After a few moments of working Clarke up she can barely keep up teasing her anymore as her taste becomes addictive. Wanting more and more of her with each lick. She works faster around Clarke’s clit and sucks on it lightly which makes the blonde moan loud. 

Lexa stops immediately and looks up at the blonde. Clarke let’s out a cry from the loss of contact and involuntary bucks her hips up trying to get contact again. 

“Are you going to be quiet?” Lexa asks with dark green eyes.   
“Yes! Yes I promise.” Clarke says breathlessly. “Please Lex...don’t stop.”

Lexa dives back in sucking and licking at Clarke’s clit and she feels a tug on her hair with moans muffled by a hand. She knows that Clarke is close. She can feel her hips bucking harder and her body moving. Lexa wraps one arm around her hip to use her thumb to circle her hard sensitive clit and moves her tongue lower to enter her. Licking into her relentlessly and applying more pressure with her thumb. 

“Fuck...Lexa...”

She feels thighs tighten around her and sees Clarke’s chest rise off the bed. She’s beautiful. She’s out of this world sexy. And she’s coming in her mouth. Easing her through her orgasm, licking her until Clarke has to gently push her away from becoming too sensitive. 

 

——————

 

A strong sense of nostalgia flows over Clarke as she enters the hall leading towards the art studio she will be dedicating most of her hours for months to come. She remembers being in these halls. She remembers the smells of different paints escaping the different classrooms as she walks past. She remembers the battle she faced dragging herself through classes trying to stay afloat when her life fell apart 3 years ago. She doesn’t feel that weight anymore. She notices how beautiful the natural light radiates the rooms on this summer morning. She notices for the first time how inspiring the colours and textures are that coat the walls and rooms in this section of the University. 

Clarke steps inside the newly renovated art studio room and her eyes grow wide. The classroom is huge. Up the front end are new large desks and chairs facing what appeared to be a giant projector screen and a large whiteboard. But what had Clarke in awe were the newly equipped easel sets and individual art stations at the far end of the room.   
“It’s really something, isn’t it?” An unfamiliar voice said beside her. 

“It’s amazing. I knew they renovated over the summer break, but this, being here is special.” Clarke replied not taking her eyes off roaming the rest of the room. That’s when it really hits her. It is a special achievement reaching this course. She can be proud of all her hard work getting her here. She can feel happy that her dad might be watching over her knowing that their ‘Reach For The Stars’ painting was the start to her success in art. 

“I’m Charlotte, by the way.” The girl next to her said. 

“Clarke. Nice to meet you.” Clarke replied turning and offering a polite smile to her new classmate. As the two made their way over to a desk, they started taking out their materials for their class. 

“I’m so excited to be learning from Queen this semester for Advanced Art Studies.” Charlotte said. 

“Wait...Nia Queen is teaching this class?” Clarke asked in shock. She hasn’t looked up the faculty yet for her classes. Assuming she’d be meeting them soon enough. 

Charlotte giggled in response. “No, her niece, Ontari. She completed her masters last year top of the class. Her work is incredible. I heard one of her final pieces sold for fifty thousand dollars at her aunts gallery over summer. Some high roller bought it.” 

Clarke froze with the new information Charlotte had told her. A handful of selected students filling the room as time neared the beginning of her first class in masters. And just in case there was any doubt filling Clarke’s mind, in walked the infamous smirking brunette rocking a very tight skirt suit and clicking heels. The one and only Ontari Queen.


	14. Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen 

The air was thick and hard to breathe. A subtle staleness filling the pit of her stomach. A hazy glow that suddenly clouded her eyes. Her palms pressed flat against the desk as she leans over trying to slowly suck in oxygen. Surely she was imagining this. Surely there was some sort of mistake. There’s no way Clarke had this person as her Advanced Art lecturer. Her eyes flickered back up to the front of the classroom. And still, the brunette Queen was organising paperwork and hanging her blazer over the back of her high throne-like chair. This can’t be happening. 

Just the mere thought of this person having hurt her girlfriend years ago made her blood boil. Made her want to march down to the front of the room and confront the other girl. Gritting her teeth she knew she couldn’t. Ontari Queen probably had the power to kick Clarke out of the course if she wanted to. Clarke would risk her masters if she tried anything, especially in front of fifteen other witnesses. 

Day one was already shaping up to be a challenge. Sitting down at her desk trying to calm her thoughts, Clarke saw brown eyes find hers and a look of recognition and a smug smile crossed the brunettes face. Clarke could do nothing but pull out her text book and try to remind herself why she was sitting in this classroom. 

 

——————

 

“Have I ever mentioned how much I hate 8am lecture starts in the freezing cold Braggs Building?” Lexa sighs while sipping her coffee during her lunch break on the west side of campus. The day was starting to warm up but the old lecture halls still had poor heating and early starts meant teeth chattering and hands and feet numb from the chill that filled the air. 

“You’d think you lawyers would be smart enough to hold early lectures in the new Hartley Theatre like us physic majors.” Anya teased. 

Lexa just rolls her eyes and continues reading over her notes for the afternoon class. 

“Oh come on. Lighten up. You’re just sulking because it’s the first time you’ve had to disconnect from Clarke.” Anya continues to try to get a rise out of her sister. But Lexa just sighs and continues to focus on reading. 

A minute of silence passes and Anya notices that Lexa is quieter than normal and tries to make conversation to see what’s going on. 

“Have you signed up to any extra curriculums, Lex?” Anya asks. “You’re normally complaining about not having enough time to do all of them.” 

Ignoring her sisters teasing Lexa continues reading and remains silent for a moment longer deciding on weather to voice her thoughts or not.   
“Well...actually...I was considering joining the basketball team this semester.” 

“No shit, really?” Anya says disbelieving. “That’s great!” 

“That’s if I still remember how to play.” Lexa shrugs. 

“Of course you do. You commanded the basketball court in high school! I remember the records you set beating some of the longest holding titles at that place. Mum and I were heartbroken when you quit to focus on your studies. We loved watching your games. We really thought you’d go far with basketball, Lex.” 

“Getting into law was more important.” Lexa replied keeping her eyes focused on the textbook in front of her. She never told her sister or her mum what had happened that caused her to quit basketball and never stepped foot on the court again. She knew it would create more problems at school, more embarrassment, stress her Mum out. She just used the excuse of needing to study harder and she avoided questions. 

“When are the tryouts?” Anya asks. 

“This afternoon.” Lexa replies still holding a nonchalant expression. “I registered online a few nights ago. I wasn’t certain that I would actually try out. I’m not sure if they’d want someone like me playing.” 

“They’d be stupid not to have you play for them, Lexa. You should definitely go try out. I bet they’ll love you.” Her sister says encouragingly. 

“A lot of the players from last year have graduated so there’s quite a few spots available. So I might get lucky.” Lexa comments with a small smile reaching her lips. She was feeling excited about getting back on the court. A chance to play the sport she once was so passionate about. 

 

——————

 

Lexa opens the doors to the University basketball stadium and walks in tapping her fingertips to her thumbs, a nervous habit. She had no idea what to expect. She changed into comfortable clothes to exercise in and hey, she had her sports shoes on so she could always make a run for it if she changed her mind, right?

The women’s team information flyer stated they’d gather on court six for introduction and registration. Lexa’s feet carried her through the foyer and along the glass walls encasing the maple hardwood courts. In passing she could see men’s teams running practice drills, hear the familiar sound of basketballs hitting the floor, whistles blowing, shoes squeaking. And Lexa felt a strong sense of nostalgia. She felt nervous but also excited and she noticed her fingers had stopped fidgeting. 

Walking through the open doorway to the sixth court she can see a small group of university girls grouped together. She approaches trying to hold a confident posture, ignoring the jabbing of past experiences, and walks up to one of the girls holding a clipboard taking names. 

“Hi! Are you here to try out?” The girl asks. 

“Yes, I registered online. My name is Lexa Woods.” 

“Lexa! I remember you...it’s me, Maya. Jaspers girlfriend. We met at Bellamy’s house!” Maya says excitedly. 

“Oh yeah, hey Maya. I didn’t know you played basketball.” 

“No, no, I can’t play. I’m simply the captains assistant! Harper over there is my bestie and I’m just here helping her out.” Maya motions to a blonde girl talking to a few others only meters away and to the basketball equipment gathered next to her. “Speaking of, you should go over and join them. We’re just about to start!” She finishes with lots of enthusiasm. 

“Okay everyone, thank you for signing up for our tryouts this semester. As I’m sure most of you are aware, my name is Harper McIntyre, and this is my third year as captain. We have five players continuing from last year and we will be taking on another five. I’ll be quite selective with who joins us. It’s going to be hard work, lots of training hours so we can learn to blend well and work as a team.” Harper announces to the group of girls listening. Lexa can see her deliberately making eye contact with everyone as she talks. “This afternoon is just for picking those who will join the team. And next practice the rest of the team will join us ready to start our team training. We will start today with the basic drills. I will be scoring you on each skill set to evaluate your overall level of experience at the end.” She’s strong and confident and Lexa can hear the passion behind her words. She looks around and sees that there are at least nine other girls there. She hopes she can make a decent impression for the captain to select her for the team. 

 

Her lungs are slightly burning and she feels sweat covering most of her body. In the past, she had done these drills hundreds of times. And although she kept up her fitness at the gym and sparring with Anya, Lexa was pushing harder and harder to show off her skill level. Lucky for her, it was like riding a bike. It may have been a few years but a basketball in her hands felt so natural. Shooting close or far from the ring was never a difficult task. And dribbling around other players was cake work.

 

———————

 

Lexa walks through the front door and is immediately hit with an amazing cooking aroma. She drops her school bag and sports bag at the couch and finds Clarke moving about the kitchen. 

“That smells incredible babe.” Lexa comments as she walks over to Clarke wrapping her arms around her. 

“I’m cooking us lasagna. Octavia is over at Lincoln’s and we have the night together.” Clarke says as she stirs the sauce over the stove. “And you smell like you’ve been working out.” Her eyebrows and nose scrunch up teasing her girlfriend. 

“I actually had basketball tryouts.” Lexa says a little nervously and let’s Clarke out of her hold. 

“Oh my gosh, really? That’s awesome Lex!” Clarke says excitedly and stops attending to the food on the stove as she gives Lexa a proud smile. 

“Yeah...they actually picked me for the team.” She admits looking down at her shoes. 

“Yes!” Clarke jumps into Lexa’s arms wrapping her legs around her waist and plants kisses over her face. “Congratulations!” 

Lexa laughs at her girlfriends reaction and thanks her as a blush reaches her cheeks.   
“I really need to shower though.” Lexa places Clarke gently back on the ground.

“Ok go clean up then we will have dinner and I’ll open some wine to celebrate!” Clarke says as she continues preparing dinner. 

Lexa feels in top of the world. Never before has she imagined feeling this happy. She has an amazing supportive girlfriend, she’s just got back playing her beloved sport, she’s in her final year of university which should be pretty smooth sailing. She heads to the bathroom with a huge smile and a skip in her step. 

 

————————

 

Tangled up in white sheets, the vanilla candles softly glowing on top of the bed head, Clarke runs her hand along Lexa’s biceps. She loves the flicker of the candlelight over her girlfriends face as they lay in each other’s arms sharing gentle kisses after going an intense round the moment they both finished dinner. Lexa’s green eyes shimmer intensely in her euphoric state. Eyes that captivate and draw her in. Eyes that Clarke has been falling for harder every time they lay like this. 

Lexa still gets a little shy under Clarke’s stare, when blue eyes are looking so deeply at her like that.   
“What is it?” She asks with a wide smile. 

“I just can’t stop kissing you. I can’t keep my hands off of you.” Clarke admits. “I had to go all day without you today and I have to get my fix now.” Brushing her lips against Lexa’s again. 

Lexa giggles lightly through the kiss then pulls a few inches away. “Well it’s only been the first day back at Uni. You’ll have to learn how to be separated from me pretty quickly.” She teases. And moves away as Clarke tries to reconnect their lips again. 

“Babe...” Lexa still avoids Clarke’s attempt to kiss her.   
“Lex...” Clarke rolls over on top to straddle Lexa’s hips but Lexa still manages to turn her head away from Clarke each time. “Lexaaa!” And this causes Lexa to laugh loudly. But Clarke has other means of getting what she wants and grabs Lexa’s wrists in one hand holding them against the bed above her head while her free hand trails down over Lexa’s stomach, using her fingertips to gently tickle her. 

“Clarke stop!” Lexa lets out a squeal and a loud laugh trying to escape Clarke’s grip while twisting and bucking her hips to get Clarke to stop tickling her. But Clarke only holds her body tighter down on top of her. 

“Have you had enough?” Clarke teases and tickles some more. “Will you kiss me now?” She says with the biggest grin on her face. 

“Ah..yes! I..I will!” Lexa gets out. 

Satisfied with her efforts to gain the upper hand, Clarke slowly leans down to capture Lexa’s lips. But Lexa, the intelligent tenacious law student that she is, never openly admits defeat that easily and flips Clarke over on her back before she is able to kiss her. She quickly reverses their arms so Clarke’s are pinned above her head and she smirks at the blonde who’s only response is a shocked expression. 

“How did you..”

“Mmm....now this is much better.” Lexa hums into Clarke’s neck followed by a couple of teasing bites. 

Lexa starts peppering small kisses down Clarke’s neck and collar bone. Then runs her tongue back up until she reaches her jawline. Her lips ghost over Clarke’s and she can feel Clarke trying to free her hands. 

“Uh ah.” Lexa shakes her head and with her free hand reaches for the draw next to the bed. “You had your fun Clarke....now I get to have mine.” And she retrieves two thin scarfs. She uses one to tie Clarke’s wrists together then to a post from the top of the bed head. Clarke’s eyes go wide with lust and eagerness. 

“Pick a safe word, baby.” Lexa whispers holding Clarke’s gaze for any indication that she is not comfortable with this. 

“Pineapple.” Clarke husks out and needing to clear her voice and bites her bottom lip to stop any other noises escaping. 

Lexa smiles wide and places a sweet quick kiss on Clarke’s nose before tying the second scarf around the blondes eyes acting as a blindfold. She removes the sheets that got rather messy around them and sits back on her heels to admire Clarke’s naked body laying against her bed. She will never get enough of this. 

Reaching over to her bedside draw again, she pulls out a small bottle and leaves it next to them on the bed. She slowly leans over Clarke again and teases with her fingertips running from her wrists down her arms then down the side of Clarke’s body. She hears a quiet moan leave the blondes lips as she starts lightly kissing down her chest, tongue circling around a hard nipple. The other breast getting attention with her fingers. She gently pulls Clarke’s nipple into her mouth and bites causing Clarke’s breath to quicken and a sound of pleasure. 

Ever so slowly, Lexa makes her way down Clarke’s body biting harder, leaving marks and soothing with kisses along the way. Lexa notices Clarke’s movements underneath her and when Lexa bites and sucks the sensitive spots above her hips, Clarke bucks up trying to get any contact she can where she desperately needs it. But lexa simply pushes her hips down pinning her to the bed as she continues to bite and tease her way down. Clarke automatically spreads her legs when she feels Lexa settle between them. But Lexa’s no where near where she wants her and she’s starting to lose patience. 

“Lex...” she breathes out. 

“Teasing you is too much fun, Clarke.” Lexa smiles against her thigh and bites hard and sucks at skin causing Clarke to moan loud. 

Pleased with herself, Lexa starts trailing her fingers up Clarke’s inner thighs towards her glistening wet centre. She lightly glides her fingers through her folds but deliberately avoids her sensitive clit. Clarke is now writhing under her and pulling her hands trying to grasp something to hold on to. But Lexa simply removes her fingers away and blows cold air over Clarke’s clit. 

“Mmm...Lex...please...” she breathes out but Lexa stops all motions.   
Lexa picks up the bottle, a stimulating gel, she had next to her and squeezes a couple of drops onto her index finger. Carefully she gently guides her finger over Clarke’s clit finally applying pressure where Clarke needs it. A loud moan leaves Clarke’s mouth unexpectedly and has her hips moving in time to Lexa’s circling over her aroused hard bud. 

“Oh my god....fuck Lex..” Clarke is breathing heavy, her body is twisting moving faster and Lexa knows that Clarke can feel the intensity from the gel. 

Lexa can see how wet Clarke is getting. She’s drenched and a sheen of her wetness is flowing down her thighs. Lexa couldn’t stop it even if she tried, she’s hard and wants nothing more than to feel Clarke’s wet velvet walls tighten over her throbbing dick. So she positions herself at Clarke’s entrance slowly putting a little bit of pressure into her. 

Clarke lets out a moan and Lexa freezes. 

“What do you want Clarke?” She asks with barely controlling her pleased grin. 

“Fuck....please Lexa.” Clarke stumbles with words. 

“Please what?” Again enjoying how much her girlfriend is panting and needing her. 

“Fuck...fuck me...hard.” Clarke manages to get out between breaths. 

With no further encouragement needed Lexa pushes inside Clarke hard and all the way in one movement causing Clarke to release all kinds of loud noises in pleasure. Lexa loves the way Clarke feels and she can’t help thrusting hard into her again faster and faster with Clarke’s juices dripping out and around them. 

Clarke’s breaths are becoming shorter as her lungs try feeding her oxygen. Lexa gets an idea and pulls out of Clarke despite her unimpressed groan. She flips Clarke onto her stomach and parts her legs again ready to enter her again. Clarke lifts her hips up silently begging Lexa to take her. And she does. Thrusting harder and deeper this time and she knows she’s hitting Clarke’s g-spot because her moans become higher pitched. 

“Fuck! Lexa!” Clarke’s practically screaming now. 

Without faulting, Lexa reaches around to rub tight circles on Clarke’s clit again providing her with even more stimulation now. Clarke releases a loud and penetrating moan as she comes hard. And Lexa breaks too unable to hold on as Clarke’s walls tighten and flutter around her. 

Lexa collapses against Clarke’s back. And she can still feel Clarke pulsating, the aftershocks of her intense orgasm, as she stays inside her. Lexa’s pretty sure she can feel herself twitching and still hard ready to go another round. But Clarke is definitely too sensitive for anymore right now. 

Lexa kisses over Clarke’s back and up the side over her neck as their breathing settles down. She gently pulls out, removes the scarf from Clarke’s hands and head, and turns her so she is laying on her back again looking up at Lexa with pure desire and satisfaction. Lexa can’t help but dive in to capture her sweet lips in a bruising passionate kiss. 

“Wow, Lex...all I wanted was some kisses and you go and give me the best orgasm of my life.” Clarke giggles and pecks Lexa’s plump lips again. 

“Well, maybe I just can’t keep my hands off of you too.” Lexa whispers and runs her hands up and down Clarke’s side. 

Lexa holds Clarke’s eyes intently. Words on the tip of her tongue wanting to be said. How they seem easier than ever to say. But she doesn’t let them out. Instead she leans down and affectionately kisses Clarke again. Trying to express her feelings without words


	15. Chapter fifteen

Chapter fifteen 

 

The morning warm sun was filtered by swaying trees and shining through to Clarke’s desk. Their movements had almost put her in a trance as she stared out into the clear blue sky. She focused on all the natural colours, the contrast from the grey gum tree and greenery surrounding the bark, the people walking by down on the ground, the way the shadows danced, anything that distracted her mind from-

“Miss Griffin?” A confident yet curious voice stated in a loud tone that indicated it was interrupted from the fluent speech that the blonde drowned out. 

Her eyes shot up quickly allowing her visual canvas to fall apart making contact with unimpressed serious awaiting eyes matched with a quirky expression. 

“Yes, Miss Queen?” Clarke replied internally kicking herself for unintentionally drawing attention to herself in front of the whole class let alone being singled out. 

Clarke had yet to establish what to make if her lecturer. It was her third class with the infamous Ontari Queen and so far the masters graduate only demonstrated professional behaviour outlining the unit structure and what was expected of her students. If Clarke had been none the wiser, she appeared to be the ever ideal experienced and dedicated university teacher. Ontari has hands down the most fresh experience with this course offering valuable insight for her students and often explaining techniques and extensive knowledge about certain topics of exploration. She didn’t mind students questioning the work, in fact she seemed to be so well rehearsed she never faulted once from anything brought up in discussion. Clarke could almost envy her. There was a certain appeal about her. Until she reminded herself of her girlfriend and the awful things she endured because of this person standing before her. 

“Please, Miss Griffin, if staring outside aimlessly during my class is of more excitement for you then I’ll happily exchange your seat with one of the many people declined for this course.” Ontari challenges with an intense glare. But before Clarke has a moment to conjure a response, she continues. “Unless....you have some ideas on how I can better captivate your attention?” Clarke doesn’t miss the slight smirk on her face and how her tone picks up at the end of her question. Did she really just ask her that? Ontari is still staring at her expectantly and Clarke can now feel other pair of eyes burning towards her. 

Clarke all but shakes her head quickly not trusting herself to speak and embarrass herself further. 

Ontari’s eyes finally blink still holding her gaze and as the intensity is reduced Clarke watches her eyes travel over her before the teacher steps back into the professional role of educating the class. Clarke releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She chastises herself before picking up her pen and resumes taking valuable notes. She tells herself to ‘get it together’ and all she has to do is keep her head down and work hard and maybe, just maybe, she’ll make it through the semester. Maybe she’ll survive. 

————

 

A couple of long days had passed and Lexa was letting her feet carry her along the path to the sports section of the campus as quickly as possible. She naturally walked a fast pace and tilting her eyes downward avoiding any attention from anyone passing by. First and easiest way to avoid confrontations, eye aversion, she had told herself for the longest time. Those old ingrained habits having their lasting effects on her...still. 

She was running three and a half minutes late. Her last class carried over two minutes which lead her trying to squeeze through a crowd of slow moving zombie-like students to get to the bathroom to change as fast as she could. She decided it would be easier to simply change her clothes prior to getting to the stadium. It was only her second practice with her new basketball team and she wanted to maintain punctuality and a good impression. She checked her watch again for tenth time in sixty seconds. Three and a half minutes late. 

The sound of shoes scuffing and voices getting louder a group of guys in tank tops and shorts bounced lively out of the glass doors to the stadium entrance. Lexa overheard laughter and teasing of each other. It was like they were egging each other on as they made their way down the paved path towards Lexa’s direction. Instinctively moving to the edge of the path to allow ample room for the group to pass, she tried to shut out the chuckles and sniggering comments. Three minutes and fifty seconds. But it almost felt as the closer they got the more those comments were directed at her. No that was silly, why would they-

“Do you play basketball?” 

“Ah...huh?” Lexa stumbled almost tripping over her feet as one of the boys entered her personal space and started talking to her....why was he talking to her?

“Um, oh sorry...just from your uniform I figured you were coming here for basketball?” A shy grin crossed his face. A face that vaguely seemed familiar. 

“Yes.” Lexa replied trying to understand why this guy wanted to strike up a conversation with her in the first place. She tried to take a small step to the side in hopes the odd conversation would be finished and she could carry on towards her basketball training, but failed when he mirrored her step. 

“I’m Ryan, we have our Legal Research And Evidence class together...” The dark haired brown eyed boy said a bit less confident and scratching lightly at the back of his neck. Lexa’s eyes look up at him to try to recognise him better. She guesses he must be in that class with her but just hasn’t noticed him before. But that class is a large class and she doesn’t think she could recognise more than five students outside of class anyway. 

“Oh, ok..” Lexa feels the awkwardness roll up her torso to her neck and all she wants to do is keep walking. Keep moving to get out of vision from this boy and his friends now that have half circled them to keen in on their conversation. Lexa starts to feel the beginning of panic creep up her arms and pull tight over her chest. It’s a discomfort she knows too well.  
“That’s great, Ryan, but I have to get going-”

“Would you like to get coffee with me sometime?” He asks cutting her off her nervous exit. 

Oh, oh...this is why he is talking to me. Lexa suddenly felt her cheeks get warm and as her eyes went wide in surprise she new she looked like a fish out of water. 

“I mean, I’d like to get to know you a little better.” Ryan tried again. 

Clearly Lexa looking like a deer in headlights and the rest of his friends cooing and calling out didn’t deter this boy from trying to get Lexa to agree to coffee.  
“There’s this coffee place just over on North Terrace-”

 

“Oh there you are! How’s it going babe?” And as if the heavens heard her internal scream for saving, Clarke appears right next to her wrapping an arm around her and places a quick kiss on the corner of her mouth.  
“I thought you’d be inside by now. Your practice started ten minutes ago.” Clarke’s arm gives Lexa a slight squeeze around her. Lexa knows her girlfriend can see she’s feeling anxious. But the way she can see blue eyes searching her own starts to calm her down. 

“What...what’s this?” The boy in front of them suddenly speaks up confused and a slight touch of rude undertone. His friends are now laughing and the sniggering has returned louder. 

“I’m running late.” Lexa whispers to Clarke holding a frown while focusing on her girlfriend. 

Clarke just ignores the boy standing a couple of feet from them and cups Lexa’s cheek. She soothingly brushes her thumb over soft skin. “Well we better get inside then.” 

“I said, WHAT the fuck is this?” The boy says now with a flushed red face and overly exaggerating hand movements gesturing to the two girls. 

Clarke lightly squeezes Lexa’s hip to then find her hand and entwine their fingers, gives her an assuring smile before stepping in front of her to turn to the now rude and probably embarrassed boy. 

“I’m not sure what your problem is but my girlfriend and I are late. So run along with your friends before you embarrass yourself even further.” Clarke starts to pull Lexa away from the group and towards the stadium. 

The boy seems to be in shock but quickly recovers with a nasty scoff “Fucking dykes!” He spits out. 

“Hey Blondie! Come see me when you want a real fuck!” One of the other boys yells out and the group laugh loudly as the girls increase their distance from them. 

Clarke simply raises her free hand and directs her middle finger at them over her shoulder without turning back. She knows she needs to get Lexa away from them and make sure she is ok. She pulls open the large glass door and they move in through the foyer. She wraps her arms around Lexa and pulls her in for a tight hug. 

“You okay?” 

Lexa nods, let’s her arms automatically circle around Clarke and takes a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks Clarke.” 

“Those idiots obviously had nothing better to do. I should find what team they play for and report them for harassment.” 

“No it’s fine Clarke. Let’s just forget about it and get to court six. I’m already late.” Lexa replies. 

Clarke’s arms stay around Lexa’s neck for a few moments longer making sure she is okay and has settled down after finding her in an anxious state. Lexa smiles and instinctively leans her forehead against Clarke’s breathing steadier breaths. How did she get so lucky finding someone who knows her so well and how to calm the hurricane of thoughts racing in her brain. With every breath the barb wire loosens over her chest and she closes her eyes to focus on the upcoming basketball training session. A moment later she feels soft warm lips envelop her own and a warm soothing palm against her face. Lexa returns the slow pacifying kiss to only shortly pull away. 

“Thank you, Clarke.” Lexa says and a smile even makes it to her mouth. 

“I’m going to just quickly buy a drink and a snack before I get set up to sketch while you practice. I’ll meet you there, okay?” Clarke tells her. 

“Sure, see you in there.” Lexa gives Clarke a sweet kiss on her cheek and starts quickly walking to her training session. 

Eleven minutes and thirty seconds. Lexa can’t remember being this late to anything before. She only hopes Harper will not be too hard on her for it. 

She jogs up to Harper and Maya standing on the sideline for court six.  
“I’m so sorry I’m late!” She says regrettably. 

Harper and Maya only seem to be relieved to see her. “No problem Lexa, we just started warming up. Most people have arrived including the players returning from last season. Why don’t you just join in with the group and I’ll be starting drills in a minute.” Harper says encouragingly.  
Lexa nods and places her bag down ready to head out on the court. 

“What is she doing here?” A familiar voice questions and Lexa’s body suddenly tightens and slows down to almost slow motion. She knows that voice. She hesitantly raises her eyes up as she wishes her ears played tricks on her. She wants to see someone she doesn’t know. She wants to find that no matter who asked the question it doesn’t belong to the person her brain is telling her it is. Her eyes lift all the way up to find a smug expression and daring brown eyes. Lexa’s brain was right. It seems regardless of time, your mind just can’t forget some things. 

But Harper misses the way Lexa immediately feels uncomfortable and how the girl asking the question is looking at her. “Oh hey, Ontari. This is one of our best recruits, Lexa. Lexa, this is Ontari Queen. She’s one of the players continuing on from last season.” Harper offers a quick introduction. 

“Oh we already know each other. Isn’t that right, Lex?” Ontari now smirking at Lexa. But Lexa cringes at the shortened name and can’t find words for a response. She internally apologises to her rapid beating heart for stressing it out so much in the past fifteen minutes. How could this day get any worse?

“Great! You know each other! Ontari show a helpful hand and demonstrate to our new recruits some successful plays from last season, will you?” Harper finishes as she and Maya walk into the court calling all players over for a quick discussion. 

“Back on the court now I see?” Ontari’s eyes roam up and down over Lexa. “I hope you remember how to play.” She says quietly but just loud enough for Lexa to hear. There’s a hint of a challenge in her voice and Lexa swallows the firm rock stuck in her throat before she sees Ontari walking over to the rest of the players. 

Lexa closes her eyes and tilts her head back slightly. She silently wishes this day would end so she can curse herself for wanting to do something ‘fun’ like join basketball in her final year. 

 

————

 

Lexa’s not sure what to make of her new situation. So far it seems like playing on the same team as her past bully may not be as terrifying as she initially thought. Ontari hadn’t tried to make any further comments to Lexa, she hadn’t attempted to get under skin, she hadn’t sent glaring looks her way. So far Ontari was just running drills and playing unsuspicious basketball with nine other girls, including herself. She passed the ball to her, called for the ball when free, and even complemented her when she made some difficult shots. This...this was new. Lexa didn’t know what to make of it just yet. But she focused on her own game and tried to keep up with the offensive and defensive plays Harper was running. 

“Okay girls! That’s a wrap for today! Great work! We’ll continue next practice.” Harper called out then occupied herself with Maya as they were collaborating notes. 

It was then Lexa stopped with her hands resting on her knees catching her breath. She raised her eyes over to the stands along the far side of the next adjacent court. The half empty seats covering the wall, one seat occupied by a very pretty blonde who gave her an even prettier smile. It was the first time she saw Clarke raise her eyes up, too engrossed in her sketching. She occasionally glanced over towards her girlfriend throughout training but only saw a look of concentration and a tongue poking out slightly between lips as she worked her drawing. A quick wave and she could see Clarke making her way over around the next court towards her. Lexa quickly made her way to her bag and collected her water bottle. 

“Hey Lex, good practice?” Clarke said placing a quick kiss to her flushed cheek. 

“Yeah...it was-”

“Clarke Griffin...” That smug tone of voice said as the owner walked towards the couple. 

“On..Ontari?” Clarke stuttered back clearly surprised to see the normally well put together girl in skirt suits and perfect makeup suddenly wearing the same training uniform as her girlfriend. “You can’t seriously be on the basketball team?” She finished dumbfounded. 

A grin forms over Ontari’s face as she sees the blonde look at Lexa for an answer.  
“Well I can see it’s going to be fun having you in the crowd cheering for us when we play.” A smirk and a slight eyebrow raised as she continues “Don’t forget your research article on my desk first thing Monday morning. Oh... and, if you need any help with it, just ask.” She finishes with a wink and then walks off leaving a very stunned frozen Clarke and confused worried Lexa. 

 

————

 

“Lex, please.... Lex, will you just talk to me?!” Clarke tries exhaustedly. 

“Clarke... I can’t believe you didn’t tell me Ontari Queen was one of your lecturers! Why didn’t you just tell me?” Lexa questions with hurt coating her words as she paces their apartment back and forth. 

Lexa had hurriedly walked off and out of the stadium needing to get away and home as soon as possible. Clarke had followed after her but Lexa went silent for the whole duration of the car ride home. Clarke knew it was Lexa’s way of processing. But now in their lounge room within the familiar four walls of safety she was getting Lexa to talk. 

“I guess it just didn’t come up.” Clarke internally smacks herself for her poor choice of words. 

“It didn’t come up?” Lexa bites back. “How does something like that not come up, Clarke?” She’s hurt, she’s upset and Clarke can see this conversation going south rapidly. “Knowing my past, how does something like this slip your mind?” Lexa’s words are coming out with venom now and Clarke struggles to swallow the knot formed in her throat. 

“Lex, I’m sorry...” she tries calmly. “I never meant to hurt you. I...I was shocked day one finding out I had her for my advanced art class. Trust me, Lex, I didn’t keep it from you to hurt you. I just didn’t know what to do.” Clarke reaches out for Lexa’s hand but Lexa retracts it immediately as if she was burnt. 

“And what was that going on before she walked off? Was she flirting with you?” Lexa ignored Clarke’s apology for the screaming thoughts raging in her head. Breathing heavy she only now makes eye contact with Clarke. 

“I’m not sure. I think-”

Clarke’s cut off with the door opening and closing. 

“Hey guys...sorry am I interrupting something?” Octavia says looking between both girls. 

“Nope...I was just leaving.” Lexa says as she heads out the door. 

“Lex....Lexa!” Clarke calls but she’s ignored. She just buries her face in her hands. 

“Fuck..”


End file.
